Snap back to reality

These last couple of months have been an incredibly trying time in mine and my family's lives. To say that it is has been bad is an understatement. A Jerry Springer episode is a better example of what we have been living. Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!

(You know you watched. Just to see what crazy story would come up next- and laugh at how mind-boggling people really could be. It was my daily ritual for a while with my mom- no shame in my game.)

If I were to really write it out- what arguments, what hateful, disturbing words have been said, what actions have been completed, and what image is really portrayed- you would really laugh because it is so insanely ridiculous. 

It never ceases to amaze me that stuff hits the fan around the holidays- not just in my family but in lots of families. Instead of celebrations and the excitement and magic of Christmas abounding- people get mean and vicious and turn vile. 

There have been many sleepless nights and many tears shed over the past month. Tears shed over things that we cannot control. Many prayers and pleadings lifted to God- and many doubts that this is really our life right now. Disclaimer: Kevin and I are fine..beyond blessed and happily married with a healthy communication system. But the rest of the things we have been dealing with are not fine. 

Sometimes we get hurt and sometimes there are people in our lives who live to just make us miserable. I know we have made mistakes as well- I do not deny that. I also know that we are only a part of the problem. I know my family's struggles are just a small portion of what is really going on in this world today. 

So much evil. Pure evil and animosity. Why? Why are people just down right ugly and inconsiderate? At Christmas!? Why do we let people have that influence over us? 

I don't have the answers- and I don't understand why people in your own family treat you like you are a criminal. No- criminals have better treatment than we have been given. Maybe an outcast- a leper would be the best example I can think of. Completely cutoff from the rest of the world because YOU (mainly its just me) have a problem (or are the problem). 

Christmas should be about cherishing the times you have with loved ones. Focusing on how you can share Jesus with others to advance the kingdom. Love and sweet memories are supposed to be made- not hate and nightmares. It is truly the most wonderful time of the year- but this year is different. 

I don't know what other people are dealing with right now, but I know we aren't the only ones who have real life problems that are never known to the outside world. In the past year- we have seen 5 of our friend's marriages crumble. Our friends have seen loved ones go before their time. We have seen families ripped apart because of the actions of a few individuals. We have heard of families losing everything- from fires, to money- to just reasons that are out of their hands. We have also seen how people's true colors come out- and I can tell you- they are fitting for the season. Red with anger & hate and green with envy & spite. 

God has been trying to teach me something and I haven't been listening. Two weeks ago our Sunday School lesson was about loving others like Christ did- and treating them how Christ did. I have failed incredibly at this. My anger and my bitterness and my hurt have hidden the light in me. This week I even taught the Sunday School lesson- and it was about where our hope comes from. Things may seem hopeless to us- but they are never hopeless with God. Apparently I didn't get the message until now.

God has been there- and thankfully he still is there. He knows the struggles. He is just waiting for us to come and give all the crap, disappointment, frustrations, bitterness, hurt, and pure anger to Him to resolve.  It is hard to realize that you can't fix people- or the problems people create for you, but find comfort in knowing that God wants to- and everything is possible with Him. 

Praying specifically today for God to work not just in my family, but for anyone else who is having a hard time this Christmas. 

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

2013 in review

So last year I made a big 13 point goal list. You can read about it here. 2013 goals

Let's just say I didn't quite reach most of these goals. I did read a few books- not 13- but my textbooks count as 2 apiece- so that's 4, then I read Beyond the Badge. I started another...but haven't finished it. Oh- I also read American Sniper.

I do pray for my husband a lot. A whole lot. From the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. 

Dog walking. Ha. Those poor babies need some walks. 

Out of 13 places. I went to: Hilton Head, Miami, Honduras, Belize, Cozumel, Grand Cayman, Boston, Savannah, Statesboro, Tybee, Atlanta, Macon, Lyons, Griffin. Some old- some new. 14. Check. 

Let's look back at our year in review- the things we did do:

January- Purchased the (absolute dreamed up in my head) wedding dress with my mom

February- I think we went out the night before valentines- and just stayed at home for the love day..but I don't remember. 

March- Had the time of our lives on our bachelor and bachelorette parties- I went to Hilton Head with my girls and Kevin took over ATL. 

April-Something happened this month- but I can't put my finger on it. OH that's right- The New Pope was crowned! Me. We had the most awesome wedding with the most perfect weather and the best of friends there to watch us become united. We took a trip of a lifetime and went on the best vacation cruise ever. Cozumel, Belize, Honduras, and Grand Cayman.

May- The Mr. celebrated his first birthday married (and first birthday with me). Cirque de Soleil was a great gift! As a late present I flew him to Boston for a week and let him have a great time while I was at a conference. We also got to meet up with my host family from Connecticut and have a fabulous Italian dinner with them. 


June & July- we played on the lake as much as we could. My husband tried to teach me how to wakeboard- but it isn't for me. We didn't go to the ER this year- so I count that as a plus. We did bust one tube (well the youth did), but I think they had a blast. We also learned that Papa Pope is a maniac when he drives the boat. It is scarily awesome! We did make a trek to Six Flags with the youth and had a great time. 

August- 29 came for me with a 2nd Annual trip to the beach. My parents and my in-laws (and all of our dogs) rented a condo in Tybee to bring it in. Oh- and I started school at Georgia Southern to take some classes- to determine if I want to pursue a higher degree. We got a free trip to Savannah for work and had a good time hanging out with some of Kevin's old Nighthawk buddies. 

September- Georgia Southern Football game. 

October- We took our annual Halloween picture...And went to a UGA game thanks to some friends. 

November- Kevin got his first buck! 8 pointer. We hosted Thanksgiving for my parents, my aunt, and 2 cousins at our house. I made everything but the turkey and some butter beans and peas. I think it went surprisingly well- I was proud of my spread. Kevin was a great help too. We also took a trip down south and blew up a lot of things (the boys did) and hung out with friends. And we didn't go black Friday shopping. A first for me since I was 15 I believe. 

December- Kevin got his 50th DUI arrest for the year, which is awesome. He will get a MADD pin to add to his collection. He also made a first: DUI arrest on a bike. I completed my 2 classes with an A and a B- which I thought was going to be a C..but am super thankful for the Lord working in on that one. 
8 Months of marriage to round out the year. 

I think we have had an amazing start to the rest of our lives. 2013 was pretty great. Here's to hoping for many more memories together!

The times when

I took a significant break off from blogging. I got really busy with school and investing in my first year of marriage- so although I missed out of writing, I invested in some worthwhile things.

There has been a LOT of negativity surrounding me lately- whether through people who are just plain ugly in their actions or attitudes- or through the pursuing of increased education and it.being.really.hard.- or through the word "fake" manifesting itself in my daily presence- or even through just not having a clue about what to do with life.


And- as much as I sit here and complain about it, I keep telling myself- have you prayed about it as much as you have complained about it. The answer in a nut shell- nope. 

Why do we as Christians- who have a direct line of communication with the Creator of the world- neglect to talk to him- when we can spend hours surrounded by friends at football games, or type hundreds of words in texts to people all over- but can't seem to make time for prayer?

Avoidance. We as humans do it everyday to something we don't want to be around. It might be people who dont live the same lifestyle as us, people who are different- people who have hurt us- or people who think they are better than us; a place that makes us uncomfortable- a food that brings back a bad memory; music, clothes- or sometimes even the things that we know are a temptation for us- we avoid that if we choose to not act out on our flesh. I avoid people, probably that I shouldnt but Im not ready to make nice with; I avoid dessert right now because Im trying to get my act together. Music that sings about things that arent really uplifting- places that really arent a joyfiller- and more of a joykiller. Tv shows that are gory and gruesome- but mainly I avoid my Savior. 


 I share my problems with friends- my sweet husband- and myself, but avoid giving it all up to the Lord.  Knowing that my true friends do care makes my heart a little less heavy, but I sit and think about how much more God cares about me. Way more than I could ever dream or imagine or measure. And yet I still choose to not give him all of the stresses and tell him it is too much.

I feel closest to God when I write out my prayers. Maybe I enjoy writing on here because I feel like God is working in and on me as I get my thoughts out of my head. 

I am reminded of a few songs and verses that encourage me to get it all out and give it to the Lord.
"You never said it would be easy, you only said I'd never go alone"
"Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you" (Jeremy Camp)
"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." 1 Peter 5:7, Amplified version
 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Maybe this week I will give it up and get it out. God is the only true problem solver- the infinite answer- and the only peace. 

Maybe it is just me

The conversations that I have with my husband are entirely different than those I have with outside people. 

I wish I had the nerve- gall- balls if you will- to say how I really feel to the outside world. But I think this is where Christ comes in. Lately, I have been much more of a softie than I normally would be. Maybe marriage has changed me. 

Case In Point: Last night at dinner Kevin and I were talking about exes- we dont, well, Kevin doesn't frequent here, but this time he asked the questions. I told him of a story of how I broke up with a boyfriend- and how one time I publicly humiliated him (said boyfriend) in a restaurant. But now as a grown up 29 year old- I see that I was the only one humiliated by my actions. 

I would love to tell people exactly how I really feel. To be that girl again, but it just isn't in me anymore. Like- dress appropriately. "Life appropriately"- not just age. Girls, Nobody wants to see any part of you that should be reserved for your husband- even if you dont have one. Get. It. Together. Just because it fits- or is "in style"- does not mean you should wear it. No matter how good you think you look. 

Or- how about this one: I don't feel the least bit sorry for you- because YOU caused this problem. Whether that be family, friend, or work issues- no one brought this on themselves but you. Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over. Well, friend, acquaintance- nothing changes if nothing changes. I get really frustrated when people ask for prayer and advice- and then go do the same thing that got them in a mess- Or complain about the situation, yet continue to live in it and not take ownership for the part they played in the drama- and expect people to treat them them well.

That is what my flesh wants to say, but something deep inside me muffles that voice and reminds me that I am not the boss, not the advice giver- nor even the one who can have authority. I have had a situation at work where being the supervisor it is my role to "lay the smack down" when students don't do the thing they are supposed to do. I am seemingly caving at this opportunity and not using my time to show my frustration as I thought I would have. I have been forgiving and I have been encouraging. I try and see both sides and come to an agreement. Yesterday I was so mad- I had to wait until the end of the day to express my frustration- but I prayed about it before I delivered my speech- and it went a lot better. 

Nobody cried. Nobody got hurt. (I have been known to make students cry- not something I am proud of)- but today I felt it was handled completely different. I can see that Christ is working in me and on me. Chiseling that hardness away one. hit. at.    a.      time. 

I have to say thank you to the Lord, for his mercy and grace. These are the things he gives me when I don't understand how to deal with people. I can tell you it is one day at a time with one prayer at a time. I am grateful that my mouth is not getting the best of me and make people feel more upset or hurt than they already do. 

I have to remember that the more I want to be like Christ, the more he will change things around in me- only for me to catch a glimpse of his beauty. He whispers- just ignore it or I will work on them, you need to work on yourself. Sometimes he even says- I made that person- do you really think I can't handle them and their antics? Sometimes- a lot of times- he really strongly says to be quiet. I hear the shhhhhhh! real loud.  
So, I choose to sit back and work on my own hard heart so that I might give words of encouragement and build others up. 

Ephesians 4:29

The way it stands

School is starting back this week in our town. Madness is brewing. 
This year- I find myself starting back as well. Georgia Southern here I come! 

I am so excited to be an Eagle- even if it is just online classes right now. I do want to attempt to get a PhD- but right now I will focus on these prerequisites I have to take before starting that program. I am honestly nervous about starting school again. I haven't done this in 4 years! Ahhhhh! Hopefully my transition will be smooth. I do know that one of my dreams is coming true- to go to a school with football. Thanks God! Also- big shout out to K. Pope for pushing me to Ga Southern. I am sure I wouldn't have even considered it had he not mentioned it. 

If regular school is starting- that must mean COLLEGE is starting shortly after. Fall is an exciting time of year for me. I present so many presentations and meet with so many students- I look forward to the newness- the lack of information they have been given- and the excitement they bring to campus.

I am hoping 2013 turns out to be the best college year yet at good ol' GC. I have made lots of plans- signed lots of contracts- and changed the format in a lot of my presentations. Let's hope that planning pays off. 

On another note:
Sometimes I tell Kevin it is really weird to be married. (not that I miss the single life- at all), but it just seems really strange to be able to call his former home my home now as well. Sometimes I don't feel like it is "my" home- because I haven't decorated very much, or there isn't much of "me" in the house. The guest bathroom has been painted sea foam green, so that makes me feel a little better- and there is one canvas picture of us on the wall- but still I find that it is missing elements to make me feel like I live there too. 

Kevin had already picked the paint colors long before I came along- and all of the furniture- minus our bedroom and living room. I do miss that aspect of house hunting when I was single- and dreaming up big plans in my head of how I wanted it to look. I am very blessed to have a man who already had a house, I am grateful for that. And it is a craftsman style house- which I wanted. It is just hard for me to wrap my mind around that I live there too. Sometimes I just feel like my stuff is just "there". 

I am trying to "put a girl in it"- but I find myself struggling to do this. Kevin says we can do whatever I want- so I have decided that paint makes everything look better. Upcoming projects: The master bath (because powder blue isn't that great love) and the laundry room (because I want to be joyful when I have to be in there, and macadamia nut just doesn't do it for me) and staining of the kitchen cabinets. And bath cabinets. 

I am hoping these changes make it "my" home as well. Our home is quite empty when it comes to decorations and pictures. My goal for the rest of the year is to bring in lots of color and accents- and frame up some dang pictures of us- since we have 4 total in the house.

I just want our house to feel like home. It will get there, in due time. 

A month of Sundays

Married life update: Team Pope is still doing well and learning boundaries of each other- and not to overstep or crash down someone else's personal space bubble. 

The things Pinterest doesn't teach you:

1. Changing your name legally is a fairly tedious process- it does tell you that -what it doesnt tell you is how many freaking places your name is!!! Geeze I never thought about EVERY place my name could be- but let me tell you it is a widespread arena of various destinations.

2. Laundry multiplies by 5 when you get married. I dont mind "doing" I mind folding. GRRR. The gnashing of teeth that insists when we have to do this! Neither of us like to do it- but we agree to do it together. That helps. 

3. Getting back to the gym AFTER the wedding is REALLY HARD. I have  had lost all motivation- until my husband made a comment about my backside- and my coworker asked if I was wearing tights. Nope these are my work pants. Awesome. Not cool. So- I have made it a few early times this week- motivation is slowly coming back.

4. It is a huge blessing to come home to dinner cooked. Kevin has been chef a couple of times this week since I was at VBS- and it has been SO nice to come home and not have to do anything. It made me realize how precious of an opportunity I have to provide for my husband when he comes home after his crazy schedule. 

5. Finding time to just talk is few and far between when you marry someone in law enforcement. Someone is either sleeping or at work when the other one is gone or when you are home you just need time to decompress and deal with your own things. We have tried to make special date nights away from friends and family so we can just see each other as opposed to in passing. It is fun being married to a Trooper though. Hearing all these stories of the CRAZY people on the highways makes for good conversation. And hearing how many idiots and threats to society my husband got off of the road makes me a proud wife. 

6. Baby fever hits early on- but after hanging out with friend's kids for more than 3 hours- you realize- mmm- I like my freedom and independence I have now. It is nice to go on trips with your spouse and just have to worry about you two. Super nice to go where ever and when ever- just because. In due time. In due time we will be ready- but not now. 

7. There are a lot of gross happenings that occur when and man and woman are married. It is hard to accept- and still love them. Sometimes it is quite comical- other times it literally makes my stomach churn and I get a little sick. Both of us have had to learn to deal with these things. Yuck with a smile. 

8. People expect more out of you now that you are married. More grown up decisions, more commitments, and more opportunities to be voluntold what to do. Sometimes it benefits you to say no and keep your marriage between you and your spouse. 

9. Married life is easy when you realize you are not number 1 anymore. Putting your spouse 1st does not come easy- but it does with practice. Praying for them. Loving them. Doing things for them- and most importantly- saying you are sorry first. Although my way of saying sorry the other night was by ambush and pegging my husband in the head and chest with nerf gun bullets after he tried to come and talk-he got the point. It is super hard to admit you were wrong, but super easy when you realize how much you love your other half and they deserve to be respected too. Dont go to bed mad- it doesnt make for a good morning the next day. I have had to learn that. Give them their space and allow them time to calm down. They will come if you wait. 

10. When you allow your spouse to do the things they love and enjoy- it makes them love you more. Even if it means you don't like doing their hobbies or activities. Kevin likes to do a lot of things that scare me or I think are boring- or are more like work than "hangout" time, but I suck it up and do them with him- or encourage him to do them. You can rest assured my husband has never told me to not go shopping or not spend money on something I wanted to do when I have encouraged him to go play poker or go to wing night- or watched one of his shows with him. There are a lot of things KP does that I could really care less about- but he loves it- and I will encourage my husband all the more to do the things he loves. And he does the same for me. 

The everyday leading to more

Last night while literally only having my nose above the bubbles- I came to some conclusions about life. 

I went to that tub to try and see if I could just get away- but the funny thing is- that is where I have the most enlightenments. I just let the jets run and run and- then before I knew it- there was a mile high mountain of bubbles around me. 

Things I thought about while in there: (besides that it was too hot and lacking air flow)

You need a shovel for life. A shovel to dig out the things that don't need to be there. A shovel to get rid of all the crap you may have been dealing with. My history teacher, Dr. George (Dr. G) at JHA would always get his imaginary shovel out when we would start complaining about tests and quizzes. Our class must have had him wrapped around our deceitful fingers- because we postponed everything- even the final exams. He knew we were full of crap- and would just shovel the air away. Quite comical at the time- but so relevant to my life right now. 

People who really don't have your best interest at heart are like a bubble bath. Nice and pretty- then gone. You can blow them away and they don't return. But if you really think about it, they really don't provide anything but a moment. No safety- no cushioning- just a round circle of liquid. Use your shovel to help get rid of some of these people in your life. Though bubbles are nice at the time they are surrounding you- but don't you want to surround yourself with things/people that last?

Lotion smooths out the rough places on your ashy body. Maybe you aren't ashy- but you could be. In life we need to be reminded to put this on when we say or do things that cause a little tension or roughness between others. This week just hasn't been my week. I have snapped on 2 students and one coworker and just really wasn't my nicest self to my director. Kevin has caught a lot of attitude too. And I have not been the nicest to my parents either. To really think about it- I haven't been pleasant at all this week.  I could blame that on a lot of things- but the truth is- it's just me. Nothing else. Sometimes you have to apologize and admit your faults. It is really hard to do, but better for you in the end. 

Doors may be open to new opportunities, but windows give the soul rest.  Windows allow you to see things from a different perspective- and if you want something to change- then you walk through the door. The window is the spark to get the door to open. My office has no windows- so it really stinks being in a complete glass building with no point of view but asylum gray and blue walls. Remind yourself to look out the windows more often. Open the blinds and let the light shine in. 

After almost melting away and fainting from the too-thought-provoking-bubble bath- I stumbled to the couch to be reminded not everyone has a nice landing place when they mess up. 

I know where I can go and I know who I can talk to when the lemons of life get pelted my way.  Sometimes it doesn't feel like lemons- more like grenades- but none the less- I know where to find my comfort. With my hands up and tear filled eyes- I turn to the most Holy. I know a lot of people don't have this safety net or comforting place to rest in, and it burdens my soul to know that they don't experience the peace I do when all of life's frustrations are too much. 

I struggle all to often to be- and sometimes- I have to be reminded that life is hard- you will mess up- you can't give in. So even though this might seem like the strangest post- I know that in order to be made better, I have to be broken down. I also know that in my weakness, Christ's strength is made perfect. 

Get down your shovels, open your windows, and put on your lotion. We have work to do. 

A little bit of love

Today is the day. THE day. The day to show someone how much you love them. To some it is cheeeeesy and to others- it is the highlight of their year to see what their significant other is getting them.

Kevin and I made an agreement to keep it simple this year. I got him 2 new remote control helicopters- and he got me a gun. And an engagement ring.

Clearly I need to shape up to be in contest with him!! :(

I am reminded every year how this year can be SO awesome for some people- and SO terrible for others. Shout out to all my singles out there- Just go get you your own present and spend some money on something you want. Retail therapy is always the best medicine!

Every year I get flowers from my Momma for 2 holidays: my birthday and Valentine's day. I have been getting them since I was in grade school- and that is a long time people! That is my highlight.

I am reminded today of all the things that I have grown to love- I thought I would share them with you. Some are funny- some are sweet- and well- some are just silly- to you.

Enjoy- and what would be on your love list?
In no particular order:

• Mt. Olive pickles- not the brand Kevin likes that smells yuck
• Talks with my Deddy about how to do stuff
• sweet kisses from my dogs- but only when I ask for them- bc they breath be rank.
• When students I have worked with still communicate with me- and ask for my advice
• Sugar Free Vanilla Jello Pudding in the cup
• Being able to text a select handlful of friends that I don't see often and we pick right back up where we left off
• Flowers from my momma- every year.
• Sleeping past 9am
• Making something people think is pretty
• Not having to wash my hair everyday. Can I get an amen?
• Mint green. Seafoam Green. Teal.- be still my heart.
• Peanut butter m&ms. I dont want any other kind.
• Sour patch kids.
• Gummi worms, bears, and whatever else gummy candies.
• My horseshoe necklace I got in memory of my sweet Winnie.
• Flossing my teeth. Everyday. I make my dentist's job easy.
• Peeptoe any shoes
• Homemade labels
• a really old pair of gray sweat pants that Kevin calls my doo-doo sag pants because they are rather large
• New reclining loveseat
• Fuzzy socks to lounge and sleep in
• Vera Bradley
• fake jewelry
• My engagement ring- it was seriously created for me
• Old school popsicles- blue green and pink please
• trips to Hobby Lobby, Michael's, and Joann- My version of heaven looks like this
• I am a sucker for a Kids meal
• My momma's biscuits with her homemade frozen strawberry jelly
• and last but not least- Kevin Paul Pope. He is what I love most. After Jesus. It should be noted that Mowgli has been demoted to 3rd place- so this is a big deal.

That is the love list right now. Clearly I am a FATTY at heart. Oh well.  Happy Valentine's Day y'all.

The Dirty Thirt-een

13s are popping up all over my year this year- and I am hoping that my black cat bad luck doesn't win out. Maybe 2013 is going to be awesome this year. With that being said- here are my 13 goals- not so much resolutions- but 13 things I want to accomplish this year.

1. To make it a habit to get up and workout- not just for the wedding- at least 3 times a week. After the wedding, because right now it is pretty much everyday!

2. To read 13 books. This might sound lame, but I never read the Harry Potter books- but I have seen every movie- and LOVE them, so I want to take that challenge. After I finish this book Kevin asked me to read- Beyond the Badge.

3. To really get into my Bible like I did a long time ago and pick apart the word and really grasp what God is trying to teach me.

4. To pick back up my prayer journal and write out my prayers. I know I feel like I am much more in tune with staying focused when I write out my heart to God. Maybe this will allow me to get back on track with my life to have this piece consistent.

5. To invest in 13 people over the course of a year. I miss spending time with the youth girls I had and hope I can meet some new students at our new church. I also just want to find some new friends to hang out with.

6. To look the best I have ever looked on my wedding day. I only get one shot- and I will be danged I am not going to look back at my pictures and say- good grief why didn't I work out harder.

7. To make it a point to go to 13 different places this year. Whether in my state, region, or out of country- 13 new places.

8. To become a better crafter. I love my sewing machine- but I need to learn to use it to the fullest extent. I also need to organize my space in a way that is an environment that is inspiring. Let the decorating and organizing begin!

9. To pray for my fiance and when the time comes, my husband, specifically and intently. Not just a Please God bring him back home alive prayer, but prayers that will change his world, his being, and his mind. Prayers that he can have all the tools he needs to lead our family closer to the cross. Prayers that even when I am frustrated with him, that God would set him apart to do great and mighty things for the Lord. Prayers that give encouragement, light, and hope for when he is defeated. And most importantly, prayers that his relationship with the Lord would be far greater than any relationship he and I could ever have.

10. To walk my dogs at least 3 times a week. Seems easy to you- but you try walking The Calm, The Lazy, and The Crazy. One listens, one does not, and one refuses to walk or put on the collar. They just have to stay in "jail" all the time and I really need to make it a point to get them outside more.

11. To not live beyond my means. Up until October of last year- shopping was a HUGE part of me. I LOVE to shop. I love to shop for clothes. But- I told Kevin I wouldnt shop for clothes until Spring. I can honestly say- I didnt spend but $20 on myself for 3 months! I had to have a pair of shoes the day after Thanksgiving- but that is the only thing I bought for myself in THREE MONTHS. I dont think you realize how huge of a deal this is for me. It is quite epic honestly. I did break my rule and went shopping New Year's day because I had giftcards- and spent some money that wasnt on gift cards- but 2 dresses, 1 skirt, 3 shirts, and 2 pair of shoes for $50 counts as a win in my book. I will try and only go shopping when I have extra money- or a real need for something. It has been kind of interesting to see what outfits I can put together and repurpose. On with the thriftyness!

12. To have a better relationship with my family. Most importantly with my parents, but also to my extended family that is within an arm's reach. I need to visit more often and invest in my sweet cousins. I just need to come around more and not sit at home all the time.

13. The last one. I want to do something that is much greater than I can imagine. I do not yet know what this is, but I want to do experience something incredible. Set me up God, because your ways are better than mine.

There you have it folks. The dirty Thirt-een. Do you have a list? Make it happen.