The everyday leading to more

Last night while literally only having my nose above the bubbles- I came to some conclusions about life. 

I went to that tub to try and see if I could just get away- but the funny thing is- that is where I have the most enlightenments. I just let the jets run and run and- then before I knew it- there was a mile high mountain of bubbles around me. 

Things I thought about while in there: (besides that it was too hot and lacking air flow)

You need a shovel for life. A shovel to dig out the things that don't need to be there. A shovel to get rid of all the crap you may have been dealing with. My history teacher, Dr. George (Dr. G) at JHA would always get his imaginary shovel out when we would start complaining about tests and quizzes. Our class must have had him wrapped around our deceitful fingers- because we postponed everything- even the final exams. He knew we were full of crap- and would just shovel the air away. Quite comical at the time- but so relevant to my life right now. 

People who really don't have your best interest at heart are like a bubble bath. Nice and pretty- then gone. You can blow them away and they don't return. But if you really think about it, they really don't provide anything but a moment. No safety- no cushioning- just a round circle of liquid. Use your shovel to help get rid of some of these people in your life. Though bubbles are nice at the time they are surrounding you- but don't you want to surround yourself with things/people that last?

Lotion smooths out the rough places on your ashy body. Maybe you aren't ashy- but you could be. In life we need to be reminded to put this on when we say or do things that cause a little tension or roughness between others. This week just hasn't been my week. I have snapped on 2 students and one coworker and just really wasn't my nicest self to my director. Kevin has caught a lot of attitude too. And I have not been the nicest to my parents either. To really think about it- I haven't been pleasant at all this week.  I could blame that on a lot of things- but the truth is- it's just me. Nothing else. Sometimes you have to apologize and admit your faults. It is really hard to do, but better for you in the end. 

Doors may be open to new opportunities, but windows give the soul rest.  Windows allow you to see things from a different perspective- and if you want something to change- then you walk through the door. The window is the spark to get the door to open. My office has no windows- so it really stinks being in a complete glass building with no point of view but asylum gray and blue walls. Remind yourself to look out the windows more often. Open the blinds and let the light shine in. 

After almost melting away and fainting from the too-thought-provoking-bubble bath- I stumbled to the couch to be reminded not everyone has a nice landing place when they mess up. 

I know where I can go and I know who I can talk to when the lemons of life get pelted my way.  Sometimes it doesn't feel like lemons- more like grenades- but none the less- I know where to find my comfort. With my hands up and tear filled eyes- I turn to the most Holy. I know a lot of people don't have this safety net or comforting place to rest in, and it burdens my soul to know that they don't experience the peace I do when all of life's frustrations are too much. 

I struggle all to often to be- and sometimes- I have to be reminded that life is hard- you will mess up- you can't give in. So even though this might seem like the strangest post- I know that in order to be made better, I have to be broken down. I also know that in my weakness, Christ's strength is made perfect. 

Get down your shovels, open your windows, and put on your lotion. We have work to do. 

The patience of testing

Frustration with a lot of things lately has made me keep my mouth shut and bottle some things up.

People. Places. Things. People again. Life in general. Working out. The norm- but different. 

Sometimes I know I have to go through these situations so I will get it out to God- and not on my own. I don't do that enough. 

My 13 goals that I made? Well- I am almost done with one book- I have walked my dogs 2 times (total), I haven't turned on my sewing machine, I complain about life more, and I sure haven't been in the Word or praying about it like I wanted. So- not going so well for 2013.

I don't see it as a failure- but I see it as a reminder that I need to try harder. 

My patience gets tested a lot working with students. It ain't always cornbread and ketchup. (it should be noted that my momma's fried cornbread and ketchup is a for real top 10 of my favorite foods)

I have so much work to do on myself. Taming of my tongue and the presentation of a calm spirit. Though my goals I made are important to me- I think I have to take a step back on truly work on myself as a person. 

Patience is a hard step to master. I want that calm gentle spirit. I want that discerning reason. I want to be the peace that I know I can be.

Mess-ups hurt and lack of patience can bring about more pain as well. Sometimes  my boldness does me a disservice rather than help me out. 

My heart just needed a lesson in being gentle and kind- and God sent it at the perfect time through some students who truly made my blood boil. 

This too shall pass and this testing will produce character, perseverance, and the opportunity to change. 

The world as it is today

Sometimes my head is really full of ideas. Sometimes- it is as empty as a Wal-Mart parking lot on Christmas morning. I can't decide what today is.

I have a lot of things to think about- but none I am overly excited to put into action. So, I sit here and wait for inspiration. And wait.  

How I dream to be a blogger/writer who is read from beyond my state lines. How I wish that I could make an impact on someones life from giving them advice. How I wish the Pinterest world would blow up (positively)  because of something I wrote.

These are just mere dreams though. In writing my blog, I have come to realize a few things.... There is always gonna be haters.- I would be lying if I said I didn't take a hiatus from here because of the drama I had to deal with about writing. Some people are just really mean. And ugly. And let me let you in on a little secret- God don't like ugly. He probably doesn't like bad grammar either. Oops...And to not lower my standard to that level, I chose to remain in the quiet.

Haters are a good thing to have around. It just fuels the fire for you to remain steadfast in your hopes and goals. Use your haters as motivators- (even if that does sound like it came straight out the hood).

Maybe the things I write about don't knock your socks off- and I am perfectly fine with that. Because of this reason: I don't write to impress you with words or stories- I write  because I want remember these points of enlightenment, frustration, happiness, and heartaches.  Maybe you think all of my posts are lame, and you might be correct about some (hindsight is 20-20), but I am ok with that.

I find myself wanting perfection so many times in life. And I am pretty sure I haven't hit that mark, ever. Not in 28 years on earth. Not in 6 years at my job. Not ever in any relationship that I have ever had- whether that be through my pets, friends, family, boyfriends, etc. I have to be reminded a lot- from my parents and my boss- that it isn't always going to be a pretty road, but I shouldn't give up from a setback. So even though I want to be selfish and have tons of followers, I know that sometimes that isn't a reality. This blog by no means is perfect- but thankfully I am not either.

Character is not defined by a moment. It is what you choose to do in those moments that show your true character. You can't do anything about the haters, but you can make yourself better. That mistake or messup is not the end. Trust me, ohh I am poster child of this. Find what you love- and go get your dreams.

So if you are here and reading this, thanks- it truly means a lot. Maybe one day I will write something you can identify with- or understand. Come back soon.

Thanks- Rachel

The Sovereignty of God vs. The Frailty of Man

It is amazing how much you can learn when you truly allow yourself to see things from God's perspective than your own. One thing that I think I could say that I have learned as of late- is that no matter what is going on in this world, your own personal life, or just in general- God is still in control.

I can find comfort in this. It has been a hard road for me to get to this point- but I know I had to learn this through a lot of difficult, uncertain, and confusing parts of my life.

Let me give you some definitions for you to better understand this.(Dictionary.com provided these)

Sovereignty: -the quality or state of being sovereign -the status, dominion, power, or authority of a sovereign; royalty.
-supreme and independent power or authority in government as possessed or claimed by a state or community.
-of God, his absolute right to do all things according to his own good pleasure

Sovereign -a person who has sovereign power or authority.
-a group or body of persons or a state having sovereign authority.
-having supreme rank, power, or authority.
-being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc.
When I say this word- It is what I consider to be a "Big" word. There is power in it. God is sovereign- he is the highest ruler- he is above all others. Sovereign. It almost sounds like "So forever reign". And that is what it is really. Hold on to that thought.

Frailty: - moral weakness; liability to yield to temptation.
-a fault resulting from moral weakness: frailties of the human flesh

Weakness. Ever felt weak in your life? Think outside of the gym, not the box. Moral weakness. You gave in- you caved- you were broken.

Now piece them together:

The absolute right of God to be in control versus the times you are weak and give in, or the times when you just don't see a reason behind why you continue to do the things you know you should not do.

God's sovereignty far out weights our frailty. We are weak. We have faults.  We sometimes make decisions that do not just effect us, but others around us, and sometimes these choices has lasting consequences that we don't realize at the time.


You and I will always have the concept of frailty present in our lives. We are not Christ, therefore we are not perfect. We will mess up. We will make mistakes that don't seem that big of a deal at the time, and realize later on down the road, we could have done things differently.

But- we can have the peace that we are not defined by our mess ups- or the messups of others. Christ came to take away all of that- and to teach us that God is God- not man and he will be in control- regardless of what we try to do.

Sometimes, I think people confuse God's sovereignty with his holiness. The two are linked, but not the same. Sovereignty means God is in control. "He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"- Jeremiah 21:11 He has those plans yes, and he will remain in control, regardless of your decision to follow them.

Holiness- is something we are commanded to be multiple times throughout the word of God. This is a major theme in Leviticus- said multiple times. Paul calls us God's holy people when discussing how we should conduct our lives (Ephesians 5:3). Peter says "As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16),which is a direct reference back to parts in Leviticus 11:44,45; 19:2.


Get a hold of this now. We are called to be holy- that is our resolution to allow God to be manifest (to be obvious, to prove, make clear or evident) in our lives. For him to be so apparent that something in us is different- that it is real, attainable, and others can see it in us. We are not holy on our own, Christ blood is what gives us the opportunity to enter in "to the holy of holies" and be transformed by God working in our lives.

We are not called to be sovereign. Only God can hold that position. God is in control- always has been, always is, and always will be. You and I have no affect on this. We are not in control. As much as I would like to think I am, I fall short of this every time. I like order. I like to be in charge. Not so much the dictator, but I just am wired where I like to know what is going on.
 As many leaders and others that have gone before us, or are among us trying to be that one thing that controls everything- it just doesn't work. I look at the condition of this world that we are in, and the only thing that gives me comfort is- God is Sovereign.

God is sovereign in the times when we are at our lowest; when we feel like our country is surely bound for destruction; when we can't wrap our human minds around the evil that is present in our world; and when we just don't understand.

God is sovereign in all of the good times as well.

So forever reign. In the midst of chaos surrounding, God will forever reign. God is sovereign, even when your frailty as a human seems to take control of your life. 

The ugly truth

Sometimes, we all do it. Some of us, probably more so than not. And when we do it- we don't ever question it. It is who we are- .........or is it?

I have found myself lately seeing life through a different perspective. I am not sure how this came about- because I sure didn't ask for it, but God is trying to teach me something right now.

Sometimes, I look at people and judge them. Oh how I judge them for their clothing, their belongings, but mostly for their looks. I think the worst or degrade them in my mind because they aren't like me. Or they aren't pretty or attractive. Then, for some reason, God has been working on my head and my heart lately. God reminds me in a still and quiet voice- that he made them just the same as me- He MADE them on purpose and with a purpose- and I am supposed to love them. Love them because God loves me- and I say I love him- and that is how you are to live your life according to the scripture. ..John 13:34 (NIV) “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."

It is hard to love people who are different from us. Or not so much different from our "lifestyle" but it is hard to love people who get on my nerves. Maybe not for you. Maybe you can just see them for what they are- I hope to be that way one day.

Sometimes I call people ugly- like a make a big point out of how ugly and trashy they are. That same still voice reminds me that "God does not look at outward appearance Rachel, he looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7)- and you should be doing the same young lady.

It is so hard to think of all people being equal. There are many many differences- race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, education level, religion, where you live (such as ghetto vs a trailer park or a subdivision), where you were raised, who ya momma and ya daddy are- your political stance- and how you present yourself to the world with your clothes and hygiene. But one thing remains- oh and I love this song- "Your love never fails, you never give up on me."

God never gives up on us- his love is never ending. And the crazy thing is- that same love is inside each and every believer. I want that love overflowing from me. I want to love others- this verse sums it up  "Dear Children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth" 1 John 3:18

Don't just talk about how you love people- get out there and show them. Stop running your mouth so much and maybe you could see the brokeness that these people need, and the only thing- THE ONLY THING that you can offer them that will actually make things better- is the love of Christ.

I hope the next time you look at someone, you look at them and love them- even if you don't know them or never speak to them- I pray that you and I can love people.

The so called and the lackluster

Mmm. It has been almost a month since I blogged. Much has changed in my life and there are so many words to put to type, so I hope to catch you up on thoughts and processes and just where this so called journey is taking me.


Kevin and I have been looking for a new church since July. I am not sure if you have ever had to do this, but I can sum it up in 3 words: overwhelming, sad, and frustrating. You may look at that and say those are pretty negative words to be describing the church, but those are my true thoughts right now.  

Sad: hurts to leave a place where you have spent the last 4.5 years and made what you thought were lasting relationships and go out into the unknown looking for new ones. It hurts to know that you are leaving people you have grown to care about only to be thrust into a new life where you kinda don't exist anymore. I think it is beyond my wildest thoughts to understand people. How one minute you can be so excited for a person, then pretend you never met them the next. My guilt runs true to this as well. Why we are one way at a certain time point, and then couldn't be more opposite at other times, I will never understand. I question a lot of things right now, mainly friendships and investments and time spent with people, but I have to take it in seasons. 

Overwhelming: Oh we have tried so many places. No, there isn't a perfect church, oh I know that full well. But is there a perfect place for us? My vanity comes out a lot. No, those curtains are awful. No the music was terrible. No one spoke to us. No, the preacher was boring. No, I can't raise my hand. Not any young adults. No kids. No older people. No. No. No. God is testing me in the finest right now to trust him to bring us to the place he has appointed for us. It is so hard. Oh, it is so hard. I know what I want in a church- but I have to remind myself we are going to be put at a place where we can be invested in, invest in the Kingdom, and invest in each other on our spiritual course. Why is it so easy for me to strike up conversations with random students about sex alcohol and anything else health related, but I feel like I am in a bubble when I visit churches? My heart doesn't quit pounding in my chest until the preaching starts. I look for familiar faces in the crowds and try to find some solace there, but again- I am looking in the wrong places.

Frustrating- Not getting what you want is always a long process of learning the definition of humility. Sometimes I just want to scream when we are visiting places. It is so frustrating to have these desires of belonging to a church again and being involved and going to a regular church on Wednesday and Sundays, only to come out and say "I don't care if I ever visit there again". My heart is longing to be a part of the body of Christ again. To have people who genuinely want to know you and know what is going on in your life, to pray for you, and to feel like you have someone to  talk to at any given point about anything you may be dealing with- those are my deepest desires right now. 

I know we will find "our" church. I know God is preparing a special place for us where we both can be comfortable and truly learn how to become more mature Christians. I know it is all going to work out, I just am wearing thin on the emotional side. It will be the best decision though. It will all be worth it when we can have no hesitations of where we are and worship the one true living God together. 

It is almost October. I can honestly say 2012 has FLOWN by. Seems like just yesterday I was questioning God about my life and where it was headed in January. He has brought me so far. Oh, I know I am not the same person that used to cry at the bottom of a stairwell for hours on end burying my face in my hands or in the fur of my sweet dog. No, I haven't done that in months. Clearly I don't have issues with food anymore, as the scale might be the thing making me cry now. I have found the one whom my soul loves- and let me just say I could have never in my wildest most vivid and descriptive dreams could have planned this any better. 

In all of this, I find myself still searching though. The good thing about the "dark ages" was that I had nothing but to search out the word and surround myself with it to make sure that was the thing that was making my life better. I was so deep and so intentional about my relationship with the Lord. I need that drive back again. Not saying that I want another testing of faith, FOR SURE, but I am saying that I need to have my happiness be on the same level of my despair. I need a routine to continue in searching for what God wants to tell me- and it shouldn't just come when poop hits the fan. 

So, onward into Fall I press, with the notion to wrap myself up in the Lord and let him do all the work of making my life fall into place.

Frustrations in Part

Wow, it has been an incredibly long time since I put my 2 cents in on here. I can honestly say it has been for one of two reasons: I am incredibly lazy and have been enjoying some sweet time with my boyfriend, family, and friends.

So here I sit. At my desk on my lunch time. Pondering the vast complexities of life and wondering where I fit in the grand scheme of things, if I even fit at all.

My 28th birthday just passed. What? Did that really just come out of my mouth? Let me give you a fair warning: once you turn 25- it is all REALLY fast moving and gone after that birthday. I had one of the best birthdays ever- this side of my twenties (because a couple of my younger bdays were pretty awesome at McDonalds and Hardees. Oh- and a surprise pizza one for like my 10th). Ha- but really- I set out to have the week designated for me- and had a lot of help from that guy who has my heart. From lots of gifts, dinners, and even a trip to the beach for 4 days- this one will go down in the books as awesome. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about who I use to be- where I have came from- and where I am now. Not so much as to where I am going, because if you know me- I sometimes have this bad fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants attitude, and I just can't plan that far in advance- because life changes so much. 

These are are few things I have learned in my 28 years. 

Learn only to take advice that is scriptural. If it doesn't come from the Bible (or from people who regularly read the Bible) or point you to the Bible, it isn't going to hold much water or change your life that much. (Proverbs 12:5 The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful).

Time changes everything. It will change you, even if you think you can avoid it. Not just the physical attributes, but also the network of who you really are on the inside. Your opinions and ideals soon scratch more than the surface. There are appointed times for a variety of emotions, feelings, disasters, happiness, comfort, letdowns and disappointments, and renewedness in your life. Accept them and learn from each one. (Ecclesiastes 3)

Life here on this earth is very temporary- even if you can't see past your twenties into the horrible abyss called your 30s. I would like to say live it up- but instead I say invest in things that matter. Because when push comes to shove- it isnt about all the things you have done and seen- it is about the people you got to do and see those things with. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


  The times when you are most desperate, most lonely, most confused, and most hopeless are the times that God will move the most in your life. These are also the times when you should go seek for him most. God moves the most in our deserts, there ain't much need for change in the oasis. Remind yourself of this when you get comfortable- always be on the hunt for more of Jesus and less of you. (Psalm 63:1-3 You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,in a dry and parched land where there is no water.; Proverbs 14:32 When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous seek refuge in God.; John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world; 1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.")



What people hear about you is what they will believe about you. That whole he said she said yo momma said..story gets twisted and people believe what others tell them- not what they see. So, live your life so that when they run their mouth about you, nothing but goodness can come of it. (Titus 2:8 "and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us").   Those are some simple, but true facts that have taken me 28 years to fully learn, understand, and put into practice. I hope you look over your life today- whether you are 18, 28, 48, 68, or 88 and realize the need to make the most out of what you have been entrusted with on this earth.

Life as of Late

A simple Tuesday post. I promise to keep it short. Well, maybe a little long but not nearly as long as they normally are!

It is crazy to think how fast time flies and how quick changes come. To sit back and look at my shamble of a life 8ish months ago really perplexes me. God has brought me so far. I coined a phrase today- that didnt come out like I wanted it to- but it stuck- so now, I will share it with you. "Sometimes you have to go through the crap to get to the cupcake". Thank goodness I didnt say eat a lot of crap... but if you really break it down- sometimes you might have to eat your words- or better yet be left with only those words that you left to ring in someone's ear and prick at their heart when they think of you. And sometimes- you have to wallow in a bunch of straight up crap and smell like a pig- to be able to one day close your eyes with the biggest icing lined smile- and say all of that was so worth this.

As I was having a weekly talk with one of my very best friends- she reminded me of how far I have come. So. Far. From a helpless wasting away miserable thing just taking up space- to a smiling beaming and happy friend again. The thing that has most changed? My perspective. I see the world through a brand new set of eyes (I really wish I could do this without contacts!).

I want to share some really cool verses with you that I hope touch your heart like they did mine. My other half had some BIG lifechanging interviews the past week and yesterday and I can tell you that they were bathed in prayer-and there were a lot of nerves surrounding them. Yesterday- I truly trusted that God was in control and that if he wanted this for Kevin, then it would happen. The moment I saw Kevin I shared this verse I found: "Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Shouldnt be scared of it. Trusting in the Lord. Only when you truly find yourself saying "Ok- God really does have it" is when you experience true trust.


Later that evening (last night) as we were about to head to dinner, the phone rang and I heard every word. I just want to congratulate you on your Promotion to Corporal...

If you couldve seen the excitement in both of our eyes, you wouldve thought we had just won a free trip or something. When doubt fills our mind- that is when we fail. When we hold fast to the notion that God does want good things for us- and in HIS due time will the come to be- we get to experience blessings.

This is a huge change for Kevin. Something he has prayed long and hard about- since before I came into the picture. This is part of his goals. It is so exciting to share in someone's happiness and experience God's blessings for them. God reminded me of Malachi 3:10- about pouring out so many blessings that they couldnt be contained. Verily Verily unto you today I say- that the storehouse has been opened and blessings are over flowing!

Remember these things: Those desires to succeed are not man made, but Creator made. You will have to work hard- but rest assured that you will be blessed if you trust the Lord. Not yourself. not money. Not wealth, fame, or your last name. Trust God. and he will bring it about-In His's time.

Late night heavy heart

 I know I said I would post about my family vacation yesterday, but I am lazy and this topic will not let me rest until I get it out of my head and off of my chest and in to written form. 


My facebook status says "In light of recent events and news headlines from today, one thing I can't help but think: You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." This is an ah-mazing song by Jeremy Camp that I find true joy in singing. At the top of my lungs. When I really sit and think about all the evil that has manifested itself in our society and how things have gone really wrong- I find that all I want to do is cling to Jesus. The things of this world will soon pass away- yet what are we left with? I know that I will be left with Christ. A sinless Savior who saw all of this crap from a throne on high- and chose to come down here and get rid of all the wrong in me so that I could experience true life and live for a purpose. The headlines just keep coming with more and more things that makes my heart uneasy. This is not going to be a political post. It isnt my "viewpoint" or things I support that I am afraid of saying - because I know what I believe and why I believe it- and it has nothing to do with a "party". I am not the best at politics because I honestly don't watch enough tv to know what the heck is going on. This post is SO much more than that. I hope the way I write it makes sense. I am not trying to offend you, if you read this and it strikes a cord in your thoughts- then it has served its purpose to engage your thinking past what is presented to you in the media and the world around you.


 My heart breaks for where this country is today. We are so caught up in all the wrong things as a society that we forfeit the things that matter- the ones that really have bearing and lasting impressions- to hold on to things that are not going anywhere. 


There has got to be something more, Sugarland brought that line to us. There honestly has to. Oh I wish our country could have this merky veil lifted from its eyes to see that all of this is not it. All of these things are nothing happy- They bring hurt and anger and a whole slew of other emotions.


I can tell you what it is though: It is Christ. It is Jesus. If you hold to the notion that more of Jesus is the last thing this country needs- oh I am positive that you are more in the wrong that you could ever be in the right. I honestly cant put in to words what I am feeling right now. I have so so much to say- but the words wont form. I stood at my sink in the bathroom for over an hour just thinking about how my heart hurts for the lost and the confused- and the wronged and the broken- and the inconsiderate and evil- and the ones who make it a point to be the center of attention at all the wrong times- and for those who have said hateful words or made it a point to discontinue friendships and ties with people- and for those who just dont know the truth. These are a few of the thoughts that keep playing in my mind:


As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement (KJV) Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgement (NIV) Hebrews 9:27 One life. One death. It really is YOLO- and that is biblical, maybe with a ghetto tweak, but read that verse again and know that this is it. You only get one life.  And then you will face your Creator- whether you believe in him or not- and be judged for the life you have lived. Praise God that he is the judge and we are not- because we don't know the true essence of grace (getting what you dont deserve)


^{1 Kings 8:46-51} “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin —and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; ⁴⁷ and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; ⁴⁸ and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you ... ⁴⁹ then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. ⁵⁰ And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy;⁵¹ for they are your people and your inheritance...


Those verses speak for themselves. We have got to change. We have to repent and plead with God. We have to turn back- turn our eyes from evil things- cast down our idols. And Pray. Seems so simple, but it is evident that our country isnt doing this enough. 


Isaiah 30:18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!


God will bring compassion- and justice- and blessings-if we go seek him. 


Psalm 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. 
You want things to be different in this country and have headlines and news stories that create a sense of community and love and happiness? Then I suggest we get some God up in here. Right now. This nation's god is not God. It is time we changed that. This nation will never be blessed until we do.

Heart-full

Not getting what you want can make you feel sick, but a wish that comes true is a life-giving tree. (CEV)

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life. (AMP)

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (NIV)

Proverbs 13:12

How very true are these words? The thing you want most out of life and not getting it makes your heart sick. Literally hurting and you find yourself catching your breath because the pain is almost unbearable.
Heartsick. That is the word I am sure a few of you can certainly relate to. Being so wounded and crippled by fear, uncertainty, endings and beginnings, changes and words said in a moment of emotions running away. It can break you down and hurt to the point where you cry yourself to sleep at night- hoping- praying- wishing- just knowing this can't be the end of the story. Hurt to the point that you bring on more stress to your already tired and worn heart and break it down some more.

Thankfully, there is that small 3 letter word that CHANGES everything. It is almost read over and skipped sometimes, yet it is SO important to how the game plays out. But. b-u-t. There it is. This small word changes so much.

Having heartsickness is overwhelming, BUT, thankfully, this verse does not stop there. It says when your desires, wishes, and longings are fulfilled, come true, and made real- it is a life giving tree. Your soul is restored. The depths of your unreasoning has had a revolutionary breakthrough in the hardened soil. Roots stretch far and wide, bringing you the things you need to get over this heartsickness. The parts above the surface shine bright and are made new and beautiful. Crunchy faded leaves have a resurection and color flows through their cells again. There is something different about you in that instant that your deepest desires and the things you find yourself pinning relentlessly over come to the point where they aren't dreams anymore. They are real. You just witnessed a modern day miracle.

Psalm 37:4 says  Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart (NIV). Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart (AMP). Do what the Lord wants,

and he will give you your heart’s desire (CEV).


I know these verses go hand in hand. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. When those desires aren't fulfilled it makes the heart sick, but when the desire is fulfilled, life is given back to you.

Sometimes, God sees fit to not reveal the fulfillment of the God-given desires he has placed in us because he needs us to either find that contentment in him, be refined and made more to look like Christ instead of ourselves, or because we let our earthly fleshly desires take over like a diva in a play and God is kicked off stage so our egos can have the full attention.

The desires that you have in you were put there by the Creator of feelings- the Sustainer of longings, and the Prince of Peace who calms the seas that rage within us. If he put it there, and you fully completely wholeheartedly believe that his word is true, he will make it happen at the appointed time. Not your time. Because your time is set by an imaginary calendar with fixed deadlines and appointments that can not be missed. BUT when God gives you the desires of your heart, it restores your life.

God is big. He is amazing. I still find myself at a loss for words (hard to believe, I know you just said) for what is happening around me. Good things. Great things. Absolutley God things. Desires that I had supressed and even thought I had cremated suddenly have been brought back to life like a patient who had the boards used on them. The heartbeat has been found again.

I know God is at work in me and around me. Sometimes, more often than you think, God is going to blow you away with the way he changes things up on you. It is going to hurt a little while if we don't get/have/see the things/people/blessings, but he gives us God-sized desires that only HE can make a reality. My tree was pretty much dead and chared- left with a worm eaten heart and only remnants of wilted leaf memories.
But I say unto you today, life has been restored to these dry bones. There is a smile as wide as the Milky Way on my face, and my heart is filled to the brim. Color now bursts on the screen and black and white fade into the background. The desires of my heart are starting to be fulfilled- and I am so excited. God is always at work, even when we give up on him. He put those desires in you- and He will make them real.

Hold fast to the promises of His word, and you too will find that God is the best gift giver ever.  This Bound 4 More journey is truly looking up. 625, oh happy day, this is just the beginning.