The times when

I took a significant break off from blogging. I got really busy with school and investing in my first year of marriage- so although I missed out of writing, I invested in some worthwhile things.

There has been a LOT of negativity surrounding me lately- whether through people who are just plain ugly in their actions or attitudes- or through the pursuing of increased education and it.being.really.hard.- or through the word "fake" manifesting itself in my daily presence- or even through just not having a clue about what to do with life.


And- as much as I sit here and complain about it, I keep telling myself- have you prayed about it as much as you have complained about it. The answer in a nut shell- nope. 

Why do we as Christians- who have a direct line of communication with the Creator of the world- neglect to talk to him- when we can spend hours surrounded by friends at football games, or type hundreds of words in texts to people all over- but can't seem to make time for prayer?

Avoidance. We as humans do it everyday to something we don't want to be around. It might be people who dont live the same lifestyle as us, people who are different- people who have hurt us- or people who think they are better than us; a place that makes us uncomfortable- a food that brings back a bad memory; music, clothes- or sometimes even the things that we know are a temptation for us- we avoid that if we choose to not act out on our flesh. I avoid people, probably that I shouldnt but Im not ready to make nice with; I avoid dessert right now because Im trying to get my act together. Music that sings about things that arent really uplifting- places that really arent a joyfiller- and more of a joykiller. Tv shows that are gory and gruesome- but mainly I avoid my Savior. 


 I share my problems with friends- my sweet husband- and myself, but avoid giving it all up to the Lord.  Knowing that my true friends do care makes my heart a little less heavy, but I sit and think about how much more God cares about me. Way more than I could ever dream or imagine or measure. And yet I still choose to not give him all of the stresses and tell him it is too much.

I feel closest to God when I write out my prayers. Maybe I enjoy writing on here because I feel like God is working in and on me as I get my thoughts out of my head. 

I am reminded of a few songs and verses that encourage me to get it all out and give it to the Lord.
"You never said it would be easy, you only said I'd never go alone"
"Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you" (Jeremy Camp)
"Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." 1 Peter 5:7, Amplified version
 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Maybe this week I will give it up and get it out. God is the only true problem solver- the infinite answer- and the only peace.