This aint Nintendo

Yesterday was a pretty rough day for me. As you may have read (if you didn't- here it is). Not only were my feelings and my pride hurt, I cried a lot. At work. I didn't even cry at home when I was originally upset Wednesday night about it- but cried really bad in a dear friend's office. 

So as I quietly lost control over my emotions yesterday about my blog not being as life changing as someone else's who got 50K views in 2 weeks of its inception- and I have to BEG people to comment about mine so I can give them free stuff- just to reach 11,000.. I proceeded to tell my coworker why I was upset- I told her that we as humans try to downgrade other's stages of their lives by saying "just wait til.. you are married..you have kids...til you are an adult..til the newlywed stage is over. Til you hit this age. On and On and on. What we are doing is taking away joy and cheating people out of happiness and living their life in their current place. We are saying that you have to get to the next level to have success or find your purpose.  This ain't Nintendo. This is real life- and I DON'T have to get anywhere but at the feet of Jesus.

I told my friend that I didn't need to get married to have my identity validated. I don't have to wait until I have kids to realize my purpose. I don't have to do X, Y, or Z to be successful. I don't have to one-up anybody- because it doesn't matter. Christ is where my identity is found- and all this other stuff is just extra. I said these words even as my other friend was texting them to me. She said "Your worth doesn't come from your blog- Your worth comes from Jesus, the Son of God!" 

I was also reminded that in the grand scheme of things- it is ok if I am not as cool/ popular/awesome as anyone else- because Jesus should be enough.

I seem to give myself great advice when I am in the middle of a letdown- and God seems to provide His Truth in times of need- I just choose to not listen to either sometimes.  

My husband went out of his way to send me verses that told me truth of comparing myself to others. There were 29 verses- but one stood out most. "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ" Galatians 1:10

Straight to the heart- because I'm so vain. Not. About. Numbers. Rachel. God sees the heart. 

Late that night, Another sweet friend texted me some really uplifting words before I went to sleep. I needed to be reminded that "It is nice to be important, but it is more important to be nice". 

Sometimes we have a bad crappy no good day. Sometimes- in the midst of our shadows, the light of Christ comes to us from someone/somewhere we didn't expect- because someone chose Jesus as the answer. I just needed my true friends to remind me of grace- and that who cares what the world says or does. 

 Thanks for reading. Even if the numbers never change, I will know that I can take my own advice when I need it again. 

The Sovereignty of God vs. The Frailty of Man

It is amazing how much you can learn when you truly allow yourself to see things from God's perspective than your own. One thing that I think I could say that I have learned as of late- is that no matter what is going on in this world, your own personal life, or just in general- God is still in control.

I can find comfort in this. It has been a hard road for me to get to this point- but I know I had to learn this through a lot of difficult, uncertain, and confusing parts of my life.

Let me give you some definitions for you to better understand this.(Dictionary.com provided these)

Sovereignty: -the quality or state of being sovereign -the status, dominion, power, or authority of a sovereign; royalty.
-supreme and independent power or authority in government as possessed or claimed by a state or community.
-of God, his absolute right to do all things according to his own good pleasure

Sovereign -a person who has sovereign power or authority.
-a group or body of persons or a state having sovereign authority.
-having supreme rank, power, or authority.
-being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc.
When I say this word- It is what I consider to be a "Big" word. There is power in it. God is sovereign- he is the highest ruler- he is above all others. Sovereign. It almost sounds like "So forever reign". And that is what it is really. Hold on to that thought.

Frailty: - moral weakness; liability to yield to temptation.
-a fault resulting from moral weakness: frailties of the human flesh

Weakness. Ever felt weak in your life? Think outside of the gym, not the box. Moral weakness. You gave in- you caved- you were broken.

Now piece them together:

The absolute right of God to be in control versus the times you are weak and give in, or the times when you just don't see a reason behind why you continue to do the things you know you should not do.

God's sovereignty far out weights our frailty. We are weak. We have faults.  We sometimes make decisions that do not just effect us, but others around us, and sometimes these choices has lasting consequences that we don't realize at the time.


You and I will always have the concept of frailty present in our lives. We are not Christ, therefore we are not perfect. We will mess up. We will make mistakes that don't seem that big of a deal at the time, and realize later on down the road, we could have done things differently.

But- we can have the peace that we are not defined by our mess ups- or the messups of others. Christ came to take away all of that- and to teach us that God is God- not man and he will be in control- regardless of what we try to do.

Sometimes, I think people confuse God's sovereignty with his holiness. The two are linked, but not the same. Sovereignty means God is in control. "He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"- Jeremiah 21:11 He has those plans yes, and he will remain in control, regardless of your decision to follow them.

Holiness- is something we are commanded to be multiple times throughout the word of God. This is a major theme in Leviticus- said multiple times. Paul calls us God's holy people when discussing how we should conduct our lives (Ephesians 5:3). Peter says "As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16),which is a direct reference back to parts in Leviticus 11:44,45; 19:2.


Get a hold of this now. We are called to be holy- that is our resolution to allow God to be manifest (to be obvious, to prove, make clear or evident) in our lives. For him to be so apparent that something in us is different- that it is real, attainable, and others can see it in us. We are not holy on our own, Christ blood is what gives us the opportunity to enter in "to the holy of holies" and be transformed by God working in our lives.

We are not called to be sovereign. Only God can hold that position. God is in control- always has been, always is, and always will be. You and I have no affect on this. We are not in control. As much as I would like to think I am, I fall short of this every time. I like order. I like to be in charge. Not so much the dictator, but I just am wired where I like to know what is going on.
 As many leaders and others that have gone before us, or are among us trying to be that one thing that controls everything- it just doesn't work. I look at the condition of this world that we are in, and the only thing that gives me comfort is- God is Sovereign.

God is sovereign in the times when we are at our lowest; when we feel like our country is surely bound for destruction; when we can't wrap our human minds around the evil that is present in our world; and when we just don't understand.

God is sovereign in all of the good times as well.

So forever reign. In the midst of chaos surrounding, God will forever reign. God is sovereign, even when your frailty as a human seems to take control of your life. 

817. 28. 2012-2013. 143652.

Let's play the number game ok? The above numbers represent a whole lot for this chick.

I decided to look up every verse with 8:17. Some of these did not fit too well for me-  venomous snakes that bite, some lineage, towers falling, bull intestines, and firstborn struck down..but I did find a few that have the potential to be really good verses for me this year.

Proverbs 8:17 "I love those who love me and those who seek me find me"- So this year- I will be more diligent in seeking out God and what he wants for me. Learning to LOVE God more- and move me out of the picture.

Ecclesiastes 8:17  then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all their efforts to search it out, no one can discover its meaning. Even if the wise claim they know, they cannot really comprehend it.- Focus on giving God the glory, not the reasons behind it, just on the fact that he is in control. Understand that God is God and I am not. I don't need all the answers. I just need God.

Isaiah 8:17 I will wait for the Lord, who is hiding his face from the descendants of Jacob.

I will put my trust in him.- Trusting and waiting- 2 things I struggle with. Put my trust in the Lord this year- and not that of man. Believing that he really does have my best interest at heart.

Zechariah 8:17 do not plot evil against each other, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this,” declares the Lord.- Ohh. Love others for where they are- and encourage  instead of tear them down. Wish nothing but the best for others in this life. No bad thoughts, no injuiries, no paybacks, no karma. No lying, not even little white ones. Gulp.

Matthew 8:17 This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:“He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases.- So much more praise is in order for the man who bore all of this to save me.

Mark 8:17  Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened?- Is my heart hardened? Do I fully have faith in God- or only when things are good?

Luke 8:17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.- Live a life that is blameless, turn from my sins and remind myself that even when I think no one sees, God knows- and knows the reasons why I do this. Do I want these things brought out in the open? If not, then I need to let Jesus clean it up.

Acts 8:17  Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.- Can I life a life that the Holy Spirit works through me like this? I want to.

Romans 8:17 "Now if we are children, then we are heirs —heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory".- Wait, is this really in there? Share in his sufferings. I am not sure what is ahead of me, but if for the cross I must take a stand, then I do so and trust God is going to remain at work even when it hurts. 

2 Corinthians 8:17 For Titus not only welcomed our appeal, but he is coming to you with much enthusiasm and on his own initiative.- Does my attitude bring people down or make them happier? Enthusiam is something I lack and need more of. I want to be a contagious person who lights up a room, not because of anything of me- but because of the light that Christ is shining through me. The right attitude changes everything.

So there it is. The 10 verses for the year 2012-2012 as I am 28.

Butterfly

Do you ever get to the point where you just say "Ok, I'm done"? Or maybe you aren't like me- and you just keep trying. A lot of people have told me lately that my expectations are too high- unattainable really. That kind of stings- to know that someone thinks that my standards are unrealistic or never going to be met. I have also been told that I am too hard on myself.

Do you ever go out of your way for people? I find myself doing this sometimes. More than sometimes. Do people ever respond the way you think they should or want them to? Not in my case lately. I guess I think my actions and my the reasons why my heart wants to do these actions don't add up with how the world responds. Why do I expect so much out of people- why is it that I think what I am doing is of great benefit to you, but you just see it as a chore?

Sometimes I feel as if I am living in a fog. Not a Claritin cleared up fog either. I think I am bringing something good to the table or to the conversation I guess, and I am quickly reminded that what I thought was something nice- is seen as rubbish.
I don't think my standards are too high. I don't feel as though they won't ever be met. If I am not hard on myself- nothing will get done. Is it wrong to expect so much from people? I am not sure I have the answer to that- but I do know if I have no standards for them to meet, then what is the point of engaging in a conversation/life/etc. with them?

I have tried too long with some things in my life. Tried to make days or lives better. Sunday was the day I decided not anymore. Sometimes things hurt us too much and we have to let them go. Completely. even, when we sit back and say- just one more time, things will change and be different this time. No they won't. Not because of something you did. Only when those oposing forces want it to. "Spread your wings and you will become a butterfly" Mariah Carey said that on her award winning Butterfly album. I have had a few bumps in testing these wings out, but it is time I use them for what they were meant for- to get me from one place time hurt section of life to another.

It is going to hurt. Probably won't really come natural at first. But here is the deal: if it was worth it- both parties involved would be beating those wings fervously to make it to a new point. Not just one. So, as I remind myself of the "the quiet" that I want to live in, I say the flight of the monarch has begun.