Cross Points

A new trend that has been popping up in fashion since last year is "cross" jewelry and accessories. A quick visit into any boutique and you will see what I am talking about. Pink stone crosses, fat orange cross earrings- necklaces, rings, and the cross in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Google Betsy Pittard and you will see that this girl is blowing up the cross scene. These are some of her pieces you may have seen in Milledgeville or central GA- since she is from Macon. 

                                                   

They really are pretty and are statement pieces. Simple alone and awesome in a bundle. I too am guilty of purchasing some of these things (not a BP Design, but I found mine on the lo-lo from a reallllly awesome website). My newest and one of my most favorite pieces right now is this new bracelet I got on Friday

It is so pretty in its gold hammered metal with these turquoise and red coral beads- and I love the strands that hang down.

(This trend may or may not be making an appearance in the event of the year...).

Anyway, I was reminded/enlightened of something this week when I was trying to decide which cross bracelet I was going to pick. The cross is a symbol for the Christian faith, yet we lose so much sight over how much that cross really means. 

We get caught up in the fashion- In the "it" scene.  I love my bracelet- don't get me wrong. But I just see it as a fashion statement, not as a spiritual piece to me. It is just a shape when I wear it. 

I don't care how pretty you try and make that cross- with it on turned on its side, or in a bright neon color- if you cut the edges- or if you make it longer- or even with a gold or silver chain.  Even if you stack 3 or 4 bracelets on top of it, the truth of the matter is- the "cross" is not a pretty symbol. There should be nothing pretty to you about a man being nailed, with stakes, to a wooden cross with blood pouring from his brow, hands, back, and feet. A cross that was so heavy someone else had to carry it for him. A cross that was lifted up after this man was nailed to it and then dropped in a hole, making it incredibly hard to breathe.

 A cross that was covered with the sins of the world- only so that you and I might live. I don't know about you- but some all of my sins are really ugly. I am ashamed to admit some of them. Some of them would probably make my mother cry and my father want to disown me. And though some of them may be silly to you, they are all ugly and hideous to me. Yet- an innocent, perfect man- took all of my ugliness and filth and nailed it to a cross on my behalf. 

The writer, George Bennard, of "The Old Rugged Cross" got it right. Italicized portions are my emphasis- which I find great comfort and gratitude. 

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,

The emblem of suff’ring and shame;

And I love that old cross where the dearest and best

For a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain:

So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,

Till my trophies at last I lay down;

I will cling to the old rugged cross,

And exchange it some day for a crown.

Oh, that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,

Has a wondrous attraction for me;

For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above

To bear it to dark Calvary.

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,

A wondrous beauty I see,

For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,

To pardon and sanctify me.

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;

Its shame and reproach gladly bear;

Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away,

Where His glory forever I’ll share.

I write all of this- as a reminder to me. To not get caught up in the "pretty" cross craze, but to be ever mindful that my sin was nailed to that cross once and for all. 

I leave you with these verses to think about. 

“He himself bore our sins”in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:23-25

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,  having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." Colossians 2:13-15

I hope you will find truth in the statement I made earlier- the "cross" is not a pretty symbol, yet is is the most beautiful symbol for a lost world. 

All you need is love...

Not really. Some people base their entire lives around this saying- and go looking for love in all the wrong places. To the arms of a stranger, to the home of a friend- to the refrigerator or to the mirror- only to find that sometimes we don't always get what we want.

Acceptance. Memories. Warm thoughts about being together- these are the deepest feelings that all human beings crave. And when we don't get the things we need/want, sometimes it can turn out ugly.

In my struggles as a Christian, I find it really hard to love the way I should (refer back to the other post). Christ is the model for love- so to sum it up- it is supposed to be on purpose, genuine, with intent to bring something better to someone else's life, and real.

If anything- just know that Jesus didn't pretend. He didn't love people one day and turn his back on them the next- we did that part.

I had to spend some time in the Word this week looking for something that I honestly wasnt comfortable with, but I know that God was pushing me to it. When we are angry or hurt or disappointed or just plain confused from/by people, the only place we need to run to is the arms of Christ.

Yet, so often, we run to the created and not the Creator.

"But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." Matthew 5:44

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." Luke 6:28

^"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." Luke 6:35

You can see where my struggle is this week- ohh loving people that are enemies. Or in modern day terms: people that don't like you.

My favorite parts of the Bible are when Christ speaks. I am huge fan of Paul's work, but Jesus' words have a different something to me.

In the Amplified version, it takes on a whole new meaning:
 "Invoke blessings upon and pray for the happiness of those who curse you, implore God’s blessing (favor) upon those who abuse you [who revile, reproach, disparage, and high-handedly misuse you].

Instead of harboring bitterness or holding on to the hurt- I choose to let it go this week. I choose to pray for those who are against me. I choose to ask for God to rain down blessings on them- and bless them to the point where their cup runneth over. It is a hard thing- which is why there are so many verses about loving those who are against you.

I will pray. I will love. And I won't do it because it is any idea of mine- I do it because Christ loved me when I was his enemy.

Maybe all you really need is the love of Christ- and it will cover a multitude.

Late night heavy heart

 I know I said I would post about my family vacation yesterday, but I am lazy and this topic will not let me rest until I get it out of my head and off of my chest and in to written form. 


My facebook status says "In light of recent events and news headlines from today, one thing I can't help but think: You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." This is an ah-mazing song by Jeremy Camp that I find true joy in singing. At the top of my lungs. When I really sit and think about all the evil that has manifested itself in our society and how things have gone really wrong- I find that all I want to do is cling to Jesus. The things of this world will soon pass away- yet what are we left with? I know that I will be left with Christ. A sinless Savior who saw all of this crap from a throne on high- and chose to come down here and get rid of all the wrong in me so that I could experience true life and live for a purpose. The headlines just keep coming with more and more things that makes my heart uneasy. This is not going to be a political post. It isnt my "viewpoint" or things I support that I am afraid of saying - because I know what I believe and why I believe it- and it has nothing to do with a "party". I am not the best at politics because I honestly don't watch enough tv to know what the heck is going on. This post is SO much more than that. I hope the way I write it makes sense. I am not trying to offend you, if you read this and it strikes a cord in your thoughts- then it has served its purpose to engage your thinking past what is presented to you in the media and the world around you.


 My heart breaks for where this country is today. We are so caught up in all the wrong things as a society that we forfeit the things that matter- the ones that really have bearing and lasting impressions- to hold on to things that are not going anywhere. 


There has got to be something more, Sugarland brought that line to us. There honestly has to. Oh I wish our country could have this merky veil lifted from its eyes to see that all of this is not it. All of these things are nothing happy- They bring hurt and anger and a whole slew of other emotions.


I can tell you what it is though: It is Christ. It is Jesus. If you hold to the notion that more of Jesus is the last thing this country needs- oh I am positive that you are more in the wrong that you could ever be in the right. I honestly cant put in to words what I am feeling right now. I have so so much to say- but the words wont form. I stood at my sink in the bathroom for over an hour just thinking about how my heart hurts for the lost and the confused- and the wronged and the broken- and the inconsiderate and evil- and the ones who make it a point to be the center of attention at all the wrong times- and for those who have said hateful words or made it a point to discontinue friendships and ties with people- and for those who just dont know the truth. These are a few of the thoughts that keep playing in my mind:


As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement (KJV) Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgement (NIV) Hebrews 9:27 One life. One death. It really is YOLO- and that is biblical, maybe with a ghetto tweak, but read that verse again and know that this is it. You only get one life.  And then you will face your Creator- whether you believe in him or not- and be judged for the life you have lived. Praise God that he is the judge and we are not- because we don't know the true essence of grace (getting what you dont deserve)


^{1 Kings 8:46-51} “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin —and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; ⁴⁷ and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; ⁴⁸ and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you ... ⁴⁹ then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. ⁵⁰ And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy;⁵¹ for they are your people and your inheritance...


Those verses speak for themselves. We have got to change. We have to repent and plead with God. We have to turn back- turn our eyes from evil things- cast down our idols. And Pray. Seems so simple, but it is evident that our country isnt doing this enough. 


Isaiah 30:18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!


God will bring compassion- and justice- and blessings-if we go seek him. 


Psalm 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. 
You want things to be different in this country and have headlines and news stories that create a sense of community and love and happiness? Then I suggest we get some God up in here. Right now. This nation's god is not God. It is time we changed that. This nation will never be blessed until we do.

Yes to Va va va Bbbe SSS!

This week has been a doosy in my personal life, BUT it's the best week of the summer at our church! It is Vacation Bible School!! This is one of the most stressful, crazy, busy, LOUD, frustrating, time taking up rewarding weeks of the year. Oh how my heart swells in me to see little kids loving learning about Jesus. The questions they ask are always bigger than you expect and their smiles are as bright as the moon. This year we did a Rock Star theme- and it has been really awesome. At first I was really hesitant, but thankfully God is bigger than my scoffs and questioning mind.

Here are a few of my personal highlights so far: (I hope you smile wide and laugh hard at these like I did)

 Getting to dress up every night with one of my best friends has been SO FUN! Granted, I could never be a rockstar because I would have some terrible breakage from the amount of teasing of hair that has taken place in my bathroom each night. We plan our rockstar outfits and try and wrangle these kiddies to do some service projects for other people. My teacher voice or (insert choice word) voice has come up a few times, but other than that, it has been AWESOME driving the Tour Bus with Andrea! She is a TRUE true friend, who I have been blessed to share life with.





These sweet 5 and 6 year olds were the quietest class on Monday night. They truly loved making stained glass pieces for the Nursing Home guests. They made beautiful artwork, and learned that they are like this stained glass- when light shines in it, color radiates around, shining in at all angles. When we have Jesus in our hearts, he overflows into our lives and shines in at all angles to make life have color bounce around and over us. Melts my heart.


Other highlights include:
• Seeing these kids get EXCITED about coming to church- there was 105 KIDS at our church last night- don't tell me that doesn't give you chills, because I have them now just typing this. They were at a rock concert singing My Redeemer lives- on these sweet innocent lips- praising the same God I praise. My cup runeth over.
• Getting the kids to have a theme night- and not having to send home papers with them. I said wear crazy hair tomorrow and THEY DID! It was awesome. Last night was star night- and EVERY single kid came in with a star. Even the ones who hadn't been the night before- because their friends told them about it. They had so much excitement to show off their stars. I hope they know they have lit up my life this week.
• In class talking about "Leaning on God" when things don't go our way or we are hurting, I asked the older class if they knew what it was like to get picked on and some raised their hands and without missing a beat- a kid that could pass as Snoop Dogg's son said "somebody pick on me- they gon get tha taste slapped out they mouth", BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Did that really just happen?!? Every adult in the room was dying- and I had to keep a straight face and say- yes that is a great example of that sin word I was just talking about. Oh man, I couldnt help but laugh my head off after he left.
• Same kid, same night: We made salvation bracelets for them to have an easy way to share Jesus with their friends and strangers. Im going through all the colors and their answers for the colors are hiliarious. They have black red and white down pat. But blue, green and yellow, oh we gotta do some work on that part! As I am explaining yellow represents heaven, where we will get to go when we die if we have Jesus in our hearts, kid raises his hand and asks a beautiful question. "Someone told me the skreets is gold in heaven, dat true?" Be still my heart. Oh someone has been trying to teach this cute hoodrat :) about Jesus and he listened. I said "yes, and they told you right. the STREETS are gold in heaven. God made it very beautiful up there for us" Kid's reply "I can have the gold- like I can take it?" BAHAHAH. Well, the seed might have just not been planted all the way in the soil ;) I said "no baby, you cant take the gold. When we get to heaven all we are going to be worried about it worshipping God and singing to him"..quietly I hear him say to his buddy- "Imma still try and get dat gold."
• Talking to another class about the color beads- white wasnt clicking for this sweet loud bushy haired girl. I tried to teach them that Jesus makes our hearts pure again- and that is called purity. But in her ears, she heard puuuurty. Yes baby girl, Jesus makes us purty too.
• Same kid- next night: Recapping on the color beads, we get to blue (baptism, publicly proclaiming Jesus) and she raised her ever cautious hand and said "Miss Rachel, can you- can you tell me what happens when you get baptised...?" Did you hear that?!? I know there has to be a big ol bell in heaven- because when this happens, some angel has to go ring that thing and rejoice! How sweet to talk to these kids about baptism. And the cool part: they all said but baptising doesnt save you, having Jesus in your heart does. Again, remind me why I get to share this joy God?
• Having kids jump up and down to tell you the day after making salvation bracelets what the colors mean, and helping their friends when they lost the words, blessed. my. soul. God is at work. Even at a poorly decorated craft station table with a teacher who has to yell "Keep your hands to yourself in my class". 
• Seeing 20 OR MORE adults who don't go to our church- stick around and go to the adult class. Oh chills again. And the really cool part? The same Jesus who died for my white church- died for these precious African Americans from a neighborhood down the road that our youth invited to church. If that doesnt let you know God is real, I am so sorry friend, but you are missing out.
• Seeing kids ROCK out. With their songs, their hands, and I pray their hearts. It is truly special to watch music time- even the fast fun parts- these kids are dancing before the Lord, and I know he is well pleased.
• Finally, having a sweet kid in my class give me the biggest kid sized hug imaginable. Just because I loved on him and told him he was doing a great job. That. That is what it is about. Sharing Jesus with these sweet cheekies.

God had to really remind me of something as I was RUSHING around yesterday, trying to get ready in 5 minutes with the coolest hair and star painted on. It takes a lot of time to get into skinny jeans, but I am pretty sure I set the world record yesterday. I was so consumed with what I was going to wear- that I had forgotten to pray for these babies hearts- that God would send a flood over this VBS- and kids would hear the Word of God and want that inside of them. How selfish Rachel. It is not about you. Or the clothes I wear. Or the amount of hairspray I think I can use. Or the coolest rocker jewelry. Hold on, it isn't even about making sure they use up all their craft time to make these things for other people. It is COMPLETELY about giving these kids more than a week of fun, but the words to have an ETERNITY with Christ. Lord, forgive my ungrateful heart. Put in me the words to say that these kids need to hear to know you love them. 2 more nights of VBS- and I know God truly has rocked our world this week. I pray these kids do the same for God.

Magnitude

Ponder over this word for a moment. Magnitude.

I was somewhere at the Freedom Church Easter Play the other day and had the idea for this post. Obviously I didn't post it when I thought of it- because I really wanted to understand to the fullest extent what that word means and entails.

Magnitude.

You might think of a Richter scale to measure the size of an earthquake. I also think of something in a large capacity. Something really big. But- not just big in size. The complete essence of that thing is far more greater than what you can actually see of it.

As I watched this beautiful performance, that I had seen a few times before, this word came in to my mind. God was slowly reminding me, or maybe teaching me for the first time about the magnitude of the cross. When I say teaching me the first time, maybe I mean allowing me to see the cross in its fullest capacity, the essence of cross itself is far more greater than what we can see. The magnitude that it carries brought about emotions in me that I haven't really thought about. It is so much bigger than any other historic event to ever take place on this planet.

I am kind of a history nerd and I like to visit historic sites and learn about life the way it was long ago. I don't study it, I just like to learn about it and make trips out of my learning.

Think about it. Wars have shaped the founding and demise of countries. Illnesses have wiped out nations. Catastrophic climate changes have changed the face of the earth forever. Sailing to the depths of the end of the earth brought about new establishments and trade endeavors. This cross and this man- literally changed the course of LIFE forever.

I don't know where you stand in relation to the cross, but my earnest prayer for you is that you stand up for it to show you won't back down on your faith; to stand behind it and know that the Lord is leading you, even when you have no hope; to kneel before it and come to the feet of it and worship the Almighty True and One King; and to stand in absolute awe of it. What this man, Jesus, did for you and me on that cross so many years ago has a HUGE magnitude about it. He took your place. He took my place. Every drop of his blood was shed on and with purpose. Purpose to defeat not only death and the grave, but to defeat the sin that we commit. To cover ALL of my wrongs, even the ones I run to in the secret. To perfect me to be able to even come close to the cross. To allow me to stand before my Creator and truly experience worship in its purest form. His blood was not spilled on accident- he chose this death for me- and for you- and for generations to come.

Tomorrow is Good Friday. I'm sure people wonder why it is called "Good" when something so terrible, so outlandishly awful, so repulsive, so intense and horrific happened, but I say unto you- it is good because you and I now have direct access to God. Christ took on fullness of man- while still exhibiting fullness of God- to pardon sin- once and for all. It is good because I have a Savior- who loves me just as I am- no matter what I have done. He takes me in his arms and says to me "I love you, even when- even when no one else does dear child. You are mine. No one can take that from you". It is Good Friday, because what happened on Sunday is amazing- and good always precedes better. Mother Goose said "Good, Better, Best never rests until Good be Better and Better Best". Though not some grammaticaly correct statement, it is pure truth. Our sins were nailed to the cross (good); Christ died a shameful death to conquer death for me and you (better) and Praise the Lord he ROSE AGAIN on Sunday (best). He is LIVING BREATHING God! He is Alive, and I am forever grateful he chose me.

Today and Tomorrow, realize the magnitude of what Jesus did on the cross, in the grave, and through his Resurection.

Vicious vs. Virtuous

In my second post- because the previous one was supposed to be posted last night but my archaic laptop was running so slow I feel asleep waiting for it to load- I want to touch on this phrase that I heard the other day: Vicious versus Virtuous Cycles.

I am not sure why this resonated with my mind, but it set it my neurons on fire for some thinking. What is the difference in these cycles you may ask? To me, a vicious cycle is working at something but it not doing you any good, or getting you any farther than you were. It isn't really producing fruit and really is causing you more harm than you can see.
Virtuous cycle: doing something that could be/is consistent or continuous, but postive changes and positive reinforcement is brought about. You are seeing and producing fruit. You are becoming better through this pattern.

Vicious: Example: A woman who keeps going back to her abusive husband/boyfriend. She cries out in anguish from the struggle, but yet continues to go back to him for affirmation. She thinks she can't get out and has no where else to run, so she goes to the one thing that gives her comfort- even though she knows he is going to hurt her (physically/emotionally).

Another example: People who want  to lose weight and get fit, but don't do anything to change. Someone told me yesterday they had a double cheeseburger and fries for lunch with a diet Coke. Really? Why even drink a diet- so what you are cutting 100 calories for yours drink- you just made them up in what you ate.

Vicious cycles get us no where. What is the thing/s in your life that you know aren't making you a better person- but yet you still can't find reason enough to give it up?
For me lately it has been this mindset of living out "Murphy's Law" and how I can't seem to do anything right. I told my parents they should have named me Murphy- and my dad asked why in a very puzzling response and I said "Because everything that can go wrong- completely goes wrong in my life. Everything I touch turns to crap (unlike good ol' Midas)."

My friends have reminded me that I do have a lot going for me and a lot to be thankful for- I just have a hard time zoning in on those things in the midst of this chaos. But for me to keep negating myself and self worth- and continue to complain about it- just keeps me in this whirlwind of deception. It is a constant battle friends. A battle. An all out war of my mind within itself. "You can't do anything right" "You clearly aren't good enough" "Obviously you weren't even good enough for a memory" "You are never going to do XYZ..." "You are the problem, the common denominator" "Fail' "Fail" "Fail"

Insert Jesus.

Do I not know that the King of Kings has already defeated this battle waging inside of me? Do you not remember the cross my dear child? Do you not realize that Jesus beat Satan and his army of lies- with a stick. Beat him like it was his job?? Did you forget that? The reason why you choose to live in this "vicious" cycle is because you so often forfeit the peace that was given to you- peace that was so overwhelming that it BUSTED out of the grave and is ALIVE in you? Jesus nailed it all to that cross and said “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Can I get an Amen? Seriously, we don't credit Christ enough for his awesome power he instills in us. If Christ overcame the WORLD, dear child, don't you think you can overcome anything the WORLD throws at you?

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest (Matt.11:28)" I am included in that all, and so are you. It is high time I started living in the virtuous cycle life and I hope you choose to do the same. We have been called to greater things- and greater things are NOT the lies that Satan so easily slips into our mindset and makes us think WE put it there. Jesus gives out peace, comfort, and purpose. He is the author and perfector of virtuous cycles. Why don't we take a few lessons from his book he wrote and use it to be victorious in our lives?

Neighbors

What do all of these verses have in common?
Leviticus 19:18   Zechariah 8:17   Matthew 19:19   Matthew 22:3   Mark 12:31

Luke 10:27  Romans 13:9  Galatians 5:14  James 2:8

They are commandments to love our neighbors as our self. That is NINE verses that tell us to love our neighbors as you love yourself. It must be pretty important, to be mentioned 9 times. I don't know if you struggle with this, but I do. Neighbor: not just those living in close proximity to you, but those who are around you.

I prayed desperately for a new place to live this summer, and God listened and provided a nice townhouse. What I didn't remember to pray for was good neighbors. I have a really good neighbor to the right of me, 1 good one down a few doors to the right and 3 really crappy ones to the left of me. That is all I know in the complex. The 3 next to me- boil my blood to a new level. I have called the cops on them multiple times, still nothing changes.

I was reminded of the essence of these verses last night as I was about to call the cops. Granted, it was just their music that was blarring, but it started at 930pm and lasted til 12am. I can honestly say I can not STAND these 3 people next to me. They are going no where in life, at all, but- God still says I should love them. Loving and liking people are 2 different things, and I hope you realize that.

I want to live my life as if these verses were made alive in me. Too often we read the Word and don't really listen to the Lord as he speaks them to us. Loving people different from yourself is hard- they fail us, they make us uncomfortable, they take advantage of us, they don't respect you, and they certainly seek for the betterment of themselves than consider someone else in the process. But heres the thing: I was once there at one time in my life too. As Christians, we are set apart and called to a higher standard than those who have not found the Lord yet. One of the biggest errors on our part is forgetting that had it not been for grace, we would still be of this world. I want to meet people where they are. Remind me in my heart God, that your blanket of grace is big enough to cover the people that I stuggle with loving. Show me how to love (not the Lil' Wayne version- the Jesus Christ love version). I hope you choose to love the people, your neighbors, that you come into contact with this week.

Time..So Much Changes Over Time

Wow. My life is so completely different than it was in May of 2011. So much has changed. I missed blogging. I missed these memories I wanted to keep in written form. I want to do better at that. I want to set a goal to blog at least 3 times a week. Nothing fancy, but a recap. Right now, I'm learning the hard way that life doesn't go at all as we as mortals plan. But, thankfully I serve God, and even though his way hurts sometimes, his way is better than mine. I just have a hard time admitting or wanting that. I read a verse the other day and I want to share it with you. Right now, "you" is empty space, because I know no one reads this. But I will humor myself. "Overhearing what they said, Jesus said 'Don't be afraid, just believe.' Mark 5:36" I am not sure of what you are going through right now- but I can tell you this word speaks comfort. Whether is is monsters under your child's bed, a relationship that ended out of no where, the passing of your beloved pet, uncertainty about the future, or just plain old not having anything to hold on to and feeling alone, Jesus himself said for us to not be afraid. I personally have had ALL of those things happen to me (minus the kid part) in the last month. My perspective on life has truly changed.

If Christ himself said for me to not be afraid, man, that speaks volumes to my lonely heart. Just believe. That is Macy's motto for Christmas "Believe"- and they put that on a huge strung up sign ont he side of the building in New York. Now, their belief is in the magic of Christmas. Thank God I believe in the miracle of Christ. But you see how powerful that belief is??? The things we hold true are the things that will in turn be evident in our lives.

Believe it will happen. Believe God is Sovereign and he does want good things for his children. I heard it said on the radio right after my break up that "you are either going in a storm, inside of a storm, or coming out of one and this is to be expected as Christians". This is so true. God is always refining and sharpening us, maybe even taking away some of the "comforts" of this earth to make us more like him. Does it hurt? Most assuredly. Does it make us feel vulnerable and uneasy? Of course. Is it worth it? To be more Christ-like is always worth it- whether we enjoy the trials or not. I say this, and right now I am in one of the lowest times of my life, but I know that God is faithful- and will never leave me. Even in the midst of my wanderings, God is still there and still in control, regardless of what I try to do to speed up my life or slow it down, God's will is ultimately going to be the one that makes a difference in my life. Not me.

It has been a remarkably hard past 2 months. My heart was broken in places I didnt know it could be broken. I have cried more in the past 2 months than I have in my entire life- i could fill an ocean with my tears. God is working on me, and friend, it hurts, but I have to hold confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it. (Phil 1:6)

I want to share my thoughts even if for my own benefit of release. I hope you find this journey fun, because I know I have to be Bound For More that what my present state is.