The patience of testing

Frustration with a lot of things lately has made me keep my mouth shut and bottle some things up.

People. Places. Things. People again. Life in general. Working out. The norm- but different. 

Sometimes I know I have to go through these situations so I will get it out to God- and not on my own. I don't do that enough. 

My 13 goals that I made? Well- I am almost done with one book- I have walked my dogs 2 times (total), I haven't turned on my sewing machine, I complain about life more, and I sure haven't been in the Word or praying about it like I wanted. So- not going so well for 2013.

I don't see it as a failure- but I see it as a reminder that I need to try harder. 

My patience gets tested a lot working with students. It ain't always cornbread and ketchup. (it should be noted that my momma's fried cornbread and ketchup is a for real top 10 of my favorite foods)

I have so much work to do on myself. Taming of my tongue and the presentation of a calm spirit. Though my goals I made are important to me- I think I have to take a step back on truly work on myself as a person. 

Patience is a hard step to master. I want that calm gentle spirit. I want that discerning reason. I want to be the peace that I know I can be.

Mess-ups hurt and lack of patience can bring about more pain as well. Sometimes  my boldness does me a disservice rather than help me out. 

My heart just needed a lesson in being gentle and kind- and God sent it at the perfect time through some students who truly made my blood boil. 

This too shall pass and this testing will produce character, perseverance, and the opportunity to change. 

A little bit of love

Today is the day. THE day. The day to show someone how much you love them. To some it is cheeeeesy and to others- it is the highlight of their year to see what their significant other is getting them.

Kevin and I made an agreement to keep it simple this year. I got him 2 new remote control helicopters- and he got me a gun. And an engagement ring.

Clearly I need to shape up to be in contest with him!! :(

I am reminded every year how this year can be SO awesome for some people- and SO terrible for others. Shout out to all my singles out there- Just go get you your own present and spend some money on something you want. Retail therapy is always the best medicine!

Every year I get flowers from my Momma for 2 holidays: my birthday and Valentine's day. I have been getting them since I was in grade school- and that is a long time people! That is my highlight.

I am reminded today of all the things that I have grown to love- I thought I would share them with you. Some are funny- some are sweet- and well- some are just silly- to you.

Enjoy- and what would be on your love list?
In no particular order:

• Mt. Olive pickles- not the brand Kevin likes that smells yuck
• Talks with my Deddy about how to do stuff
• sweet kisses from my dogs- but only when I ask for them- bc they breath be rank.
• When students I have worked with still communicate with me- and ask for my advice
• Sugar Free Vanilla Jello Pudding in the cup
• Being able to text a select handlful of friends that I don't see often and we pick right back up where we left off
• Flowers from my momma- every year.
• Sleeping past 9am
• Making something people think is pretty
• Not having to wash my hair everyday. Can I get an amen?
• Mint green. Seafoam Green. Teal.- be still my heart.
• Peanut butter m&ms. I dont want any other kind.
• Sour patch kids.
• Gummi worms, bears, and whatever else gummy candies.
• My horseshoe necklace I got in memory of my sweet Winnie.
• Flossing my teeth. Everyday. I make my dentist's job easy.
• Peeptoe any shoes
• Homemade labels
• a really old pair of gray sweat pants that Kevin calls my doo-doo sag pants because they are rather large
• New reclining loveseat
• Fuzzy socks to lounge and sleep in
• Vera Bradley
• fake jewelry
• My engagement ring- it was seriously created for me
• Old school popsicles- blue green and pink please
• trips to Hobby Lobby, Michael's, and Joann- My version of heaven looks like this
• I am a sucker for a Kids meal
• My momma's biscuits with her homemade frozen strawberry jelly
• and last but not least- Kevin Paul Pope. He is what I love most. After Jesus. It should be noted that Mowgli has been demoted to 3rd place- so this is a big deal.

That is the love list right now. Clearly I am a FATTY at heart. Oh well.  Happy Valentine's Day y'all.

The prayed for coming true

One thing I have found in common on my friend's blogs is the want for friends. I thought Kevin and I were the only ones desperately praying for God to bring new people into our lives, but when I see other friends are praying for that same thing, it reminds me that others do struggle with this as well.

Why is it so EASY to have tons of friends in college, yet so incredibly HARD to find people to even talk to when you are grown and on your own?

I still am trying to find the answer to this. I think I had a lot of friends in college because I went to a relatively small college- and was super involved in the BSU. Friends were a'plenty there. That's why my grades weren't awesome freshman year- because I had too many friends that I needed to spend time with and didn't spend time with my books!

I think the one basic need besides shelter, food, and the like is acceptance. Everyone wants to feel that they are appreciated, included, and wanted.

Why do kids join gangs? I think.. they want to be a part of something- even if they know it isn't the right something, they know they will have that void of acceptance filled.

Why do people continue relationships that they know are not what is right for them? I think... for that moment in time, it allows them to feel like someone does want them, even if they know this person is not the person they need to be with.

I have never had a lack of friendships throughout my life. The first day of kindergarten I convinced a girl and her brother on my bus to just get off at my house and not their house. While I remember sitting in the yard licking the top off of a pudding cup, my mother was frantically calling the school district and trying to get these kid's address out of them. My new friends were 5 and 7, so not much help in that department. We remained friends until I moved away in the 6th grade.

I do know a lot of people, but today God has reminded me of new friends and ones that have stuck with me over the years.

Kevin and I prayed and prayed and prayed for new church friends the entire fall and summer. It sounds lame to pray for friends, but that was my biggest fear- being lonely.

We have been richly blessed with a Sunday School class that was open to having us join them. Kevin specifically said we were going to a church where we could be mentored. He wanted us to have people invest in us and allow us the opportunity to grow and learn from them. That spoke volumes to me- that he would see the need for that. We are currently the youngest couple in the class- and we are ok with that. We want to learn how to go through this thing called life from others who have been there. We want to share our exciting events with them and share in theirs. It is so rewarding to see this prayer request coming true.

It is a blessing to see the verse "A friend loves at all times, a brother is born for a time of adversity" really play out in my life, not just at church, but through other opportunities we have been given. (Proverbs 17:17)

I think the whole reason behind this post today is that when God allows you to share in blessings, it is truly a rewarding experience. I can see the answers to my tear filled requests being played out on Sundays.

I can also see this request being made new again through old friendships that are picking back up again.

I see the power of forgiveness at work in my life as well. With friends and family- God is at work and I am so thankful that I get to take part in that.

Cross Points

A new trend that has been popping up in fashion since last year is "cross" jewelry and accessories. A quick visit into any boutique and you will see what I am talking about. Pink stone crosses, fat orange cross earrings- necklaces, rings, and the cross in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Google Betsy Pittard and you will see that this girl is blowing up the cross scene. These are some of her pieces you may have seen in Milledgeville or central GA- since she is from Macon. 

                                                   

They really are pretty and are statement pieces. Simple alone and awesome in a bundle. I too am guilty of purchasing some of these things (not a BP Design, but I found mine on the lo-lo from a reallllly awesome website). My newest and one of my most favorite pieces right now is this new bracelet I got on Friday

It is so pretty in its gold hammered metal with these turquoise and red coral beads- and I love the strands that hang down.

(This trend may or may not be making an appearance in the event of the year...).

Anyway, I was reminded/enlightened of something this week when I was trying to decide which cross bracelet I was going to pick. The cross is a symbol for the Christian faith, yet we lose so much sight over how much that cross really means. 

We get caught up in the fashion- In the "it" scene.  I love my bracelet- don't get me wrong. But I just see it as a fashion statement, not as a spiritual piece to me. It is just a shape when I wear it. 

I don't care how pretty you try and make that cross- with it on turned on its side, or in a bright neon color- if you cut the edges- or if you make it longer- or even with a gold or silver chain.  Even if you stack 3 or 4 bracelets on top of it, the truth of the matter is- the "cross" is not a pretty symbol. There should be nothing pretty to you about a man being nailed, with stakes, to a wooden cross with blood pouring from his brow, hands, back, and feet. A cross that was so heavy someone else had to carry it for him. A cross that was lifted up after this man was nailed to it and then dropped in a hole, making it incredibly hard to breathe.

 A cross that was covered with the sins of the world- only so that you and I might live. I don't know about you- but some all of my sins are really ugly. I am ashamed to admit some of them. Some of them would probably make my mother cry and my father want to disown me. And though some of them may be silly to you, they are all ugly and hideous to me. Yet- an innocent, perfect man- took all of my ugliness and filth and nailed it to a cross on my behalf. 

The writer, George Bennard, of "The Old Rugged Cross" got it right. Italicized portions are my emphasis- which I find great comfort and gratitude. 

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,

The emblem of suff’ring and shame;

And I love that old cross where the dearest and best

For a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain:

So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross,

Till my trophies at last I lay down;

I will cling to the old rugged cross,

And exchange it some day for a crown.

Oh, that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,

Has a wondrous attraction for me;

For the dear Lamb of God left His glory above

To bear it to dark Calvary.

In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,

A wondrous beauty I see,

For ’twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,

To pardon and sanctify me.

To the old rugged cross I will ever be true;

Its shame and reproach gladly bear;

Then He’ll call me some day to my home far away,

Where His glory forever I’ll share.

I write all of this- as a reminder to me. To not get caught up in the "pretty" cross craze, but to be ever mindful that my sin was nailed to that cross once and for all. 

I leave you with these verses to think about. 

“He himself bore our sins”in his body on the cross, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; “by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:23-25

"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins,  having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." Colossians 2:13-15

I hope you will find truth in the statement I made earlier- the "cross" is not a pretty symbol, yet is is the most beautiful symbol for a lost world. 

The world as it is today

Sometimes my head is really full of ideas. Sometimes- it is as empty as a Wal-Mart parking lot on Christmas morning. I can't decide what today is.

I have a lot of things to think about- but none I am overly excited to put into action. So, I sit here and wait for inspiration. And wait.  

How I dream to be a blogger/writer who is read from beyond my state lines. How I wish that I could make an impact on someones life from giving them advice. How I wish the Pinterest world would blow up (positively)  because of something I wrote.

These are just mere dreams though. In writing my blog, I have come to realize a few things.... There is always gonna be haters.- I would be lying if I said I didn't take a hiatus from here because of the drama I had to deal with about writing. Some people are just really mean. And ugly. And let me let you in on a little secret- God don't like ugly. He probably doesn't like bad grammar either. Oops...And to not lower my standard to that level, I chose to remain in the quiet.

Haters are a good thing to have around. It just fuels the fire for you to remain steadfast in your hopes and goals. Use your haters as motivators- (even if that does sound like it came straight out the hood).

Maybe the things I write about don't knock your socks off- and I am perfectly fine with that. Because of this reason: I don't write to impress you with words or stories- I write  because I want remember these points of enlightenment, frustration, happiness, and heartaches.  Maybe you think all of my posts are lame, and you might be correct about some (hindsight is 20-20), but I am ok with that.

I find myself wanting perfection so many times in life. And I am pretty sure I haven't hit that mark, ever. Not in 28 years on earth. Not in 6 years at my job. Not ever in any relationship that I have ever had- whether that be through my pets, friends, family, boyfriends, etc. I have to be reminded a lot- from my parents and my boss- that it isn't always going to be a pretty road, but I shouldn't give up from a setback. So even though I want to be selfish and have tons of followers, I know that sometimes that isn't a reality. This blog by no means is perfect- but thankfully I am not either.

Character is not defined by a moment. It is what you choose to do in those moments that show your true character. You can't do anything about the haters, but you can make yourself better. That mistake or messup is not the end. Trust me, ohh I am poster child of this. Find what you love- and go get your dreams.

So if you are here and reading this, thanks- it truly means a lot. Maybe one day I will write something you can identify with- or understand. Come back soon.

Thanks- Rachel

The Sovereignty of God vs. The Frailty of Man

It is amazing how much you can learn when you truly allow yourself to see things from God's perspective than your own. One thing that I think I could say that I have learned as of late- is that no matter what is going on in this world, your own personal life, or just in general- God is still in control.

I can find comfort in this. It has been a hard road for me to get to this point- but I know I had to learn this through a lot of difficult, uncertain, and confusing parts of my life.

Let me give you some definitions for you to better understand this.(Dictionary.com provided these)

Sovereignty: -the quality or state of being sovereign -the status, dominion, power, or authority of a sovereign; royalty.
-supreme and independent power or authority in government as possessed or claimed by a state or community.
-of God, his absolute right to do all things according to his own good pleasure

Sovereign -a person who has sovereign power or authority.
-a group or body of persons or a state having sovereign authority.
-having supreme rank, power, or authority.
-being above all others in character, importance, excellence, etc.
When I say this word- It is what I consider to be a "Big" word. There is power in it. God is sovereign- he is the highest ruler- he is above all others. Sovereign. It almost sounds like "So forever reign". And that is what it is really. Hold on to that thought.

Frailty: - moral weakness; liability to yield to temptation.
-a fault resulting from moral weakness: frailties of the human flesh

Weakness. Ever felt weak in your life? Think outside of the gym, not the box. Moral weakness. You gave in- you caved- you were broken.

Now piece them together:

The absolute right of God to be in control versus the times you are weak and give in, or the times when you just don't see a reason behind why you continue to do the things you know you should not do.

God's sovereignty far out weights our frailty. We are weak. We have faults.  We sometimes make decisions that do not just effect us, but others around us, and sometimes these choices has lasting consequences that we don't realize at the time.


You and I will always have the concept of frailty present in our lives. We are not Christ, therefore we are not perfect. We will mess up. We will make mistakes that don't seem that big of a deal at the time, and realize later on down the road, we could have done things differently.

But- we can have the peace that we are not defined by our mess ups- or the messups of others. Christ came to take away all of that- and to teach us that God is God- not man and he will be in control- regardless of what we try to do.

Sometimes, I think people confuse God's sovereignty with his holiness. The two are linked, but not the same. Sovereignty means God is in control. "He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"- Jeremiah 21:11 He has those plans yes, and he will remain in control, regardless of your decision to follow them.

Holiness- is something we are commanded to be multiple times throughout the word of God. This is a major theme in Leviticus- said multiple times. Paul calls us God's holy people when discussing how we should conduct our lives (Ephesians 5:3). Peter says "As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance.  But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:14-16),which is a direct reference back to parts in Leviticus 11:44,45; 19:2.


Get a hold of this now. We are called to be holy- that is our resolution to allow God to be manifest (to be obvious, to prove, make clear or evident) in our lives. For him to be so apparent that something in us is different- that it is real, attainable, and others can see it in us. We are not holy on our own, Christ blood is what gives us the opportunity to enter in "to the holy of holies" and be transformed by God working in our lives.

We are not called to be sovereign. Only God can hold that position. God is in control- always has been, always is, and always will be. You and I have no affect on this. We are not in control. As much as I would like to think I am, I fall short of this every time. I like order. I like to be in charge. Not so much the dictator, but I just am wired where I like to know what is going on.
 As many leaders and others that have gone before us, or are among us trying to be that one thing that controls everything- it just doesn't work. I look at the condition of this world that we are in, and the only thing that gives me comfort is- God is Sovereign.

God is sovereign in the times when we are at our lowest; when we feel like our country is surely bound for destruction; when we can't wrap our human minds around the evil that is present in our world; and when we just don't understand.

God is sovereign in all of the good times as well.

So forever reign. In the midst of chaos surrounding, God will forever reign. God is sovereign, even when your frailty as a human seems to take control of your life. 

The Things No One Tells You

I have learned a lot in my short 2 months of being engaged. It is truly and exciting time- but I'mma go 'head and tell you- sometimes it is REALLY not all that pretty. These are the few short things that I have learned that NO ONE told me. Maybe you can learn them from me if you are planning a wedding.

1. People say "it is your wedding, you can do whatever you want"- but that is not what the vendors say. On more than one occasion, I have had to snuff back little tears because someone told me the way I wanted it done- was not going to work. One time I did cry after the vendor left. And that was the first one we met with. You will hear more opinions of how you should do things than what you asked for. People will tell you the music you should dance to, the plates that look the best, the order of ceremony, the way you can and can't set up things, and that you HAVE TO HAVE this or it just wont be a wedding. I am making a few exceptions- but really I am not caving on what I want. Like a veil. My momma wants a veil- I dont. We will see what happens with this one. I have since learned to take people's suggestions, but if you really cant get over doing it your way, then you just firmly reply- that is not what I want or how I see it.

2. Everything isn't going to work out in real life as it works out in your head. I have had to change 3 of my original ideas because we couldnt find the right material, the "project" was too long and would take an eternity to complete, and because although it seemed like a good idea, it wouldn't really work effectivly. Thankfully- I have a fiance' that helps keep my meldowns small and makes suggestions for me when he sees I am about to lose it. Like with the fabric. I had in my perfect little mind exactly how these tables were going to look- and after a month and a half of searching for the right fabric, we ventured off to a warehouse in Covington. They had tons of fabric- and even the type I wanted- just not the color. Every other color- but not my color. I have since learned that my colors arent the poular ones this year- and that is a blessing and a curse. No one else will be doing what I am doing- but I can't hardly find what I want! Kevin picked out some awesome fabric- and I now know my wedding will be just that- not copied from anyone else's.

3. Pinterest lies sometimes. I LOVE Pinterest- don't get me wrong- I am on there every night before I go to bed filling my head with crafting dreams and ideas. But on the real- everything doesn't always turn out so easy and "I made this super quick"! It is more like- seriously am I ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel? It also makes it look like wedding planning is BREEZE with all these cool things you can rent or download. Like the wedding cameras you rent and then they make videos for you. I read the fine print- and watched the videos- and I wasnt that impressed. And throwing sprinkles at a wedding sounds awesome- but did the people not think of ANTS? Really- not a good idea. Though I have learned a lot and we are using a few things from some pins- I am also trying to make our wedding different and fun.

4. Weddings cost a lot more than you really plan. Especially if you are DIY everything. See what you can borrow or ask around to see if someone knows someone that might have used similar items in their weddings. Really- don't reinvent the wheel- you will go broke over some special thing that could have been borrowed from someone else and created the same effect.

5. A lot of people won't be happy for you. We have run in to this a few times and it takes you back the first couple of times it happens. Just know that it is going to happen and you just have to smile and move on. And then go cry to your fiance' about it- and get over it. If someone isn't happy for you- you shouldn't allow them to steal your happiness.

6. In going along with #5, be prepared for close relatives and close friends to inform you that your wedding date is an inconvenience. My deddy said "Well, that's just two less mouths I have to feed". Take that mentality- please. If it is important to someone- they will make it a point to be there. If it isn't- they will make an excuse. And the ones who choose to share your special day with you will be richly blessed in sharing your wedding with you. The others- well they just have to see it in the nice pictures you paid for.

7. Don't forget to just have some "couple" time. Planning can be a full time job- I can see why so many girls take on this responsibility after they plan their own weddings. It is fun and exciting- but also time consuming. Make time to spend with your fiance'- because you won't be engaged forever- you can't get that time back.

8. Girls- work on the wedding everyday- but only talk about it on selected days with the Groom. This is better for everyone's stress level. We have set days we can talk about it and make plans- the rest of the time I am not supposed to mention it. Pick your days and stick with that. The groom and others will get tired of hearing about it- and you want SOME element of surprise there for the attendants. Just don't surprise the groom with a large purchase you didn't discuss.

9. Wedding dress shopping is one of the most exhausting things you will ever do. If you want something specific- I suggest you call places near you and see if they have that style first. I spent 2.5 hours my first time trying on dresses that were not what I wanted by the lady just wanted to see if it would work. Do NOT Compromise ON THE DRESS. I had a bad experience at David's Bridal- so I am not going to knock them terribly- but seriously- don't let that be your only place you visit. Between the snotty nose kid wiping his snot wrag on the mirror that I was having to look into- and the lady not listening when I was telling her what I wanted- and having to get dressed again and then go hunt for more dresses- it was just too much for me. Go to a nicer place if you want a more "tailored to you" experience. I knew I wasnt going to find my dress on the first time- because I know how picky I am. My second experience was muchhhh better. My consultant listened to exactly what I said I wanted- hunted for dresses for me- and stayed in the room to help zip and unzip me. Do this when you go:

1. Take a robe that you can wear when you are searching for dresses. It sucks putting back on jeans to go look for your second round of dresses- so take a robe to put on so you can walk around the store. (My second time shopping I did this and it made my life SO much easier).
2. Take a bottle of water. Trying on 15+ dresses makes you sweaty and tired.
3. Don't take your entire bridal party. Seriously- that is all the more opinions you have to listen to. I would say 2 max.
4. Print out 5 pictures max of styles you like. This gives a visual to the consultant. (I didnt take any- because I just wanted to go in there with a blank slate and my vision).
5. If you don't like chiffon roses- don't try on chiffon roses. My cousin told me this- and it was true. Don't true on something if you don't like the style or the cut or the embroidery. Seriously- you are wasting yout time.
6. Relax if you don't find what you are looking for. It exists, I know it does, just be patient and you will find it. I told the lady my budget and we tried lots of dresses in the style I wanted- and even retried on one. But it wasnt the one. You will know it when you try it on. Just like you knew your boyfriend was the one- and how your ring was the one- the dress works in this magic as well. The very last dress I tried on was the one I got. Don't listen to that nonsense about buying the first dress you try on. I intentionally tried on an ugly one just so I could say I didnt buy the first one I tried on.
7. Have fun with and and don't get to stressed. It isn't the defining moment of the wedding.

These are just a few things I have learned- I am sure there will be a second post to this after the wedding. Stay tuned for the next post.