The Things No One Tells You

I have learned a lot in my short 2 months of being engaged. It is truly and exciting time- but I'mma go 'head and tell you- sometimes it is REALLY not all that pretty. These are the few short things that I have learned that NO ONE told me. Maybe you can learn them from me if you are planning a wedding.

1. People say "it is your wedding, you can do whatever you want"- but that is not what the vendors say. On more than one occasion, I have had to snuff back little tears because someone told me the way I wanted it done- was not going to work. One time I did cry after the vendor left. And that was the first one we met with. You will hear more opinions of how you should do things than what you asked for. People will tell you the music you should dance to, the plates that look the best, the order of ceremony, the way you can and can't set up things, and that you HAVE TO HAVE this or it just wont be a wedding. I am making a few exceptions- but really I am not caving on what I want. Like a veil. My momma wants a veil- I dont. We will see what happens with this one. I have since learned to take people's suggestions, but if you really cant get over doing it your way, then you just firmly reply- that is not what I want or how I see it.

2. Everything isn't going to work out in real life as it works out in your head. I have had to change 3 of my original ideas because we couldnt find the right material, the "project" was too long and would take an eternity to complete, and because although it seemed like a good idea, it wouldn't really work effectivly. Thankfully- I have a fiance' that helps keep my meldowns small and makes suggestions for me when he sees I am about to lose it. Like with the fabric. I had in my perfect little mind exactly how these tables were going to look- and after a month and a half of searching for the right fabric, we ventured off to a warehouse in Covington. They had tons of fabric- and even the type I wanted- just not the color. Every other color- but not my color. I have since learned that my colors arent the poular ones this year- and that is a blessing and a curse. No one else will be doing what I am doing- but I can't hardly find what I want! Kevin picked out some awesome fabric- and I now know my wedding will be just that- not copied from anyone else's.

3. Pinterest lies sometimes. I LOVE Pinterest- don't get me wrong- I am on there every night before I go to bed filling my head with crafting dreams and ideas. But on the real- everything doesn't always turn out so easy and "I made this super quick"! It is more like- seriously am I ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel? It also makes it look like wedding planning is BREEZE with all these cool things you can rent or download. Like the wedding cameras you rent and then they make videos for you. I read the fine print- and watched the videos- and I wasnt that impressed. And throwing sprinkles at a wedding sounds awesome- but did the people not think of ANTS? Really- not a good idea. Though I have learned a lot and we are using a few things from some pins- I am also trying to make our wedding different and fun.

4. Weddings cost a lot more than you really plan. Especially if you are DIY everything. See what you can borrow or ask around to see if someone knows someone that might have used similar items in their weddings. Really- don't reinvent the wheel- you will go broke over some special thing that could have been borrowed from someone else and created the same effect.

5. A lot of people won't be happy for you. We have run in to this a few times and it takes you back the first couple of times it happens. Just know that it is going to happen and you just have to smile and move on. And then go cry to your fiance' about it- and get over it. If someone isn't happy for you- you shouldn't allow them to steal your happiness.

6. In going along with #5, be prepared for close relatives and close friends to inform you that your wedding date is an inconvenience. My deddy said "Well, that's just two less mouths I have to feed". Take that mentality- please. If it is important to someone- they will make it a point to be there. If it isn't- they will make an excuse. And the ones who choose to share your special day with you will be richly blessed in sharing your wedding with you. The others- well they just have to see it in the nice pictures you paid for.

7. Don't forget to just have some "couple" time. Planning can be a full time job- I can see why so many girls take on this responsibility after they plan their own weddings. It is fun and exciting- but also time consuming. Make time to spend with your fiance'- because you won't be engaged forever- you can't get that time back.

8. Girls- work on the wedding everyday- but only talk about it on selected days with the Groom. This is better for everyone's stress level. We have set days we can talk about it and make plans- the rest of the time I am not supposed to mention it. Pick your days and stick with that. The groom and others will get tired of hearing about it- and you want SOME element of surprise there for the attendants. Just don't surprise the groom with a large purchase you didn't discuss.

9. Wedding dress shopping is one of the most exhausting things you will ever do. If you want something specific- I suggest you call places near you and see if they have that style first. I spent 2.5 hours my first time trying on dresses that were not what I wanted by the lady just wanted to see if it would work. Do NOT Compromise ON THE DRESS. I had a bad experience at David's Bridal- so I am not going to knock them terribly- but seriously- don't let that be your only place you visit. Between the snotty nose kid wiping his snot wrag on the mirror that I was having to look into- and the lady not listening when I was telling her what I wanted- and having to get dressed again and then go hunt for more dresses- it was just too much for me. Go to a nicer place if you want a more "tailored to you" experience. I knew I wasnt going to find my dress on the first time- because I know how picky I am. My second experience was muchhhh better. My consultant listened to exactly what I said I wanted- hunted for dresses for me- and stayed in the room to help zip and unzip me. Do this when you go:

1. Take a robe that you can wear when you are searching for dresses. It sucks putting back on jeans to go look for your second round of dresses- so take a robe to put on so you can walk around the store. (My second time shopping I did this and it made my life SO much easier).
2. Take a bottle of water. Trying on 15+ dresses makes you sweaty and tired.
3. Don't take your entire bridal party. Seriously- that is all the more opinions you have to listen to. I would say 2 max.
4. Print out 5 pictures max of styles you like. This gives a visual to the consultant. (I didnt take any- because I just wanted to go in there with a blank slate and my vision).
5. If you don't like chiffon roses- don't try on chiffon roses. My cousin told me this- and it was true. Don't true on something if you don't like the style or the cut or the embroidery. Seriously- you are wasting yout time.
6. Relax if you don't find what you are looking for. It exists, I know it does, just be patient and you will find it. I told the lady my budget and we tried lots of dresses in the style I wanted- and even retried on one. But it wasnt the one. You will know it when you try it on. Just like you knew your boyfriend was the one- and how your ring was the one- the dress works in this magic as well. The very last dress I tried on was the one I got. Don't listen to that nonsense about buying the first dress you try on. I intentionally tried on an ugly one just so I could say I didnt buy the first one I tried on.
7. Have fun with and and don't get to stressed. It isn't the defining moment of the wedding.

These are just a few things I have learned- I am sure there will be a second post to this after the wedding. Stay tuned for the next post.