I Won't Give Up

If you read that last post, know that this one goes along with it.

A few people who attended our wedding asked for our vows. I asked my husband and he said I could share them with you.

We decided to do an "untraditional" wedding- so there were a lot of things we left out- because we just didn't see the point of doing them.

We didn't do a unity candle, sand etc. We didn't say traditional vows. I didn't do a traditional white cake. No songs being sung during the wedding.

We did it how we wanted, and that is my best advice- do it the way you want- because you should be thinking this is your only shot to have it done the way you see your dreams play out.

With that, I give you our vows. These are our own, inspired by God, and taken directly from our pre- marital counseling sessions. I would encourage you to write your own, and not plagiarize.

I, Kevin, take thee Rachel, to be my wife. I promise to love you and honor you as Christ does the church. I promise to lead our family as head of our home. I promise to never take you for granted and to love you more each and every day than I did the last. I promise to always put you first in my life and to protect you with my life. Through good times and troubling times, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer until we depart from the earth.

(Mine are a lot longer, but I had a lot to say! {surprise surprise})

I, Rachel, take you Kevin, to be my husband. I submit myself unto you to allow you to lead our family in the role God has ordained for you. I vow to respect you with my words- my actions- and my attitude when I am with you or apart from you. I promise to listen to you, encourage and pray for you. I will stand by you when we are faced with hardships and in moments of celebrations, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I won't give up on us. I commit myself to you and only you and promise to honor you with faithfulness, time, and love until our time on earth is complete. 

How the times change

Has it really been over a month- my gosh almost 2 months since I have written? :( I plan to try and keep up. I have time now and my thought process isn't consumed by planning a one day event.

People keep asking- "how is married life?". Um- it is awesome. For real. I never thought it would make me feel this way. Really crazy and really awesome at the same time. I am super thankful to be able to wake up to the one person who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. 

Let's talk about the wedding for a minute. I just need to say thank you again God for showing out with the weather. 

I had been praying about the weather since November- right after we got engaged. I texted my bridesmaids the week before the wedding in tears because terrible weather was headed our way. They all said it was going to be fine. I began to frantically panic about having the wedding in the church. Not that our church isn't beautiful- but that was not my dream wedding. Not what I saw play out in my mind. Also- not something I had budgeted money for! 

But through God's grace and some awesome praying friends- we had the most beautiful weather. It rained Friday and poured Sunday- but God heard the cry of my heart and provided for Saturday. It was a BEAUTIFUL DAY. 

People kept telling me- at the end of the day you will be the only one who notices what went wrong- and you will still be married. Maybe that is a coping mechanism for people who don't like to rock the boat or those who truly can accept things going bad. Not the case for me. 

I thought I planned for everything- but alas super bride failed! With signs, with ice cream, with presents, ...with a lot of other things... but in the end- we still had an amazing wedding and we still had an awesome reception. 

As I sit here and try to remember all the things that went wrong, I honestly have to laugh at how petty they are. Now- some were a big to-do, but involved people not things-but for the most part- everything still was fine. 

I still think it is crazy that we are ma--rrr--ieed. It just blows my mind when I sit and think about my life before Kevin. We are truly blessed and very grateful God set this divine appointment up for us. 

Planning a wedding was fun. I really did enjoy seeing my thoughts and plans come together. From the colors to the decorations to the food- it was really cool to experience making big decisions and then see them all- and how perfect each piece fit together. 

Now, my hope now is to invest as much time in my MARRIAGE as I did for the wedding- and let me just say that bad boy was well thought of. I was fortunate to be able to see past the wedding and realize the type of commitment I was making. I meant my vows when I said them- that I would listen to and pray for and encourage my husband. And that I am in this for life. 

So- check back again soon and see what lessons God is teaching me through marriage. 

40 day mark

We are 40 days away from the big show. From my last name changing. From all this effort being played out. From becoming a little family. 

Where has the time gone? Seems like just yesterday Kevin and I were on our first date. Little did I know that was just the beginning of the rest of our lives. 

We are in premarital counseling with our preacher who is conducting the wedding. It has been interesting and sometimes frustrating to hear what the other one has to say. We both have learned a lot and make references to those sessions a lot. We had to take a long test online to determine a lot of things- and we scored 100 on a lot of them. Apparently this doesn't happen a lot. We know we have a special relationship that is very different from most of the people getting married these days.

We also had to list our stress level from wedding planning. At the time- I was pretty ok- and my scores reflected a 10 stress level. Kevin's was a 20. In our session Saturday he asked me if I lied on the test because apparently that is not the case now. He said the bulk of his stress comes from me stressing him out about the things I am stressed about. Seems to have gotten a lot more intense since we took that test. 

I don't really think I am stressed so much about the wedding part- I am stressed about the things I can't control. Parking. Weather. Guest list. Those would be the three things I just wish would fall into place. 

Everyone keeps asking me are you getting excited? And I am excited about marrying the love of my life- I just am not at that pure excitement stage. That stage where you get to the point where you don't care anymore about the details and just focus on why you are getting married. People keep saying that at the end of the day we will be married and that is all that matters. I understand that- but that is not anything remotely close to how I see the day playing out. 

I have already planned to expect everything to not go as planned- but I just want to have a special day where everyone gets along, the weather is nice, and the party is worth remembering. 

I have completed a lot of tasks- we have had vendors booked since a week after getting engaged. I have made all of the major decorations but one last thing- hopefully we get that done this week. All my maids have dresses and shoes. The groomsmen's suits will be in soon. My dress ships this week. The table runners are almost done. Showers start this week. Honeymoon got booked last week. I ordered Kevin's wedding band Friday. My fitness routine has picked up. We are making purchases together for our home. 

Life is happening all around us. Sometimes I think this isn't real and my world is just going to stop all of a sudden. I know it isnt going to, but I still have that thought in the back of my head. 

We are getting ready to enter into one of the most sacred covenants and I want our hearts to be in the right place. Not in the ribbon and lights- not in the vanilla cupcakes vs chocolate cupcakes- not even in honeymoon part. I want our hearts to be reflective of Christ and his great love for us. How we can fill those roles and responsibilities to honor God and the one that he has called us to spend the rest of our lives with. How we can choose to build up our other half and encourage them to walk closer with the Lord. 

So, if you are reading this, pray for these last days leading up to the changing of our lives. Pray for peace, direction, stress reduction, and just safety and health over our families and friends.

The Things No One Tells You

I have learned a lot in my short 2 months of being engaged. It is truly and exciting time- but I'mma go 'head and tell you- sometimes it is REALLY not all that pretty. These are the few short things that I have learned that NO ONE told me. Maybe you can learn them from me if you are planning a wedding.

1. People say "it is your wedding, you can do whatever you want"- but that is not what the vendors say. On more than one occasion, I have had to snuff back little tears because someone told me the way I wanted it done- was not going to work. One time I did cry after the vendor left. And that was the first one we met with. You will hear more opinions of how you should do things than what you asked for. People will tell you the music you should dance to, the plates that look the best, the order of ceremony, the way you can and can't set up things, and that you HAVE TO HAVE this or it just wont be a wedding. I am making a few exceptions- but really I am not caving on what I want. Like a veil. My momma wants a veil- I dont. We will see what happens with this one. I have since learned to take people's suggestions, but if you really cant get over doing it your way, then you just firmly reply- that is not what I want or how I see it.

2. Everything isn't going to work out in real life as it works out in your head. I have had to change 3 of my original ideas because we couldnt find the right material, the "project" was too long and would take an eternity to complete, and because although it seemed like a good idea, it wouldn't really work effectivly. Thankfully- I have a fiance' that helps keep my meldowns small and makes suggestions for me when he sees I am about to lose it. Like with the fabric. I had in my perfect little mind exactly how these tables were going to look- and after a month and a half of searching for the right fabric, we ventured off to a warehouse in Covington. They had tons of fabric- and even the type I wanted- just not the color. Every other color- but not my color. I have since learned that my colors arent the poular ones this year- and that is a blessing and a curse. No one else will be doing what I am doing- but I can't hardly find what I want! Kevin picked out some awesome fabric- and I now know my wedding will be just that- not copied from anyone else's.

3. Pinterest lies sometimes. I LOVE Pinterest- don't get me wrong- I am on there every night before I go to bed filling my head with crafting dreams and ideas. But on the real- everything doesn't always turn out so easy and "I made this super quick"! It is more like- seriously am I ever going to see the light at the end of the tunnel? It also makes it look like wedding planning is BREEZE with all these cool things you can rent or download. Like the wedding cameras you rent and then they make videos for you. I read the fine print- and watched the videos- and I wasnt that impressed. And throwing sprinkles at a wedding sounds awesome- but did the people not think of ANTS? Really- not a good idea. Though I have learned a lot and we are using a few things from some pins- I am also trying to make our wedding different and fun.

4. Weddings cost a lot more than you really plan. Especially if you are DIY everything. See what you can borrow or ask around to see if someone knows someone that might have used similar items in their weddings. Really- don't reinvent the wheel- you will go broke over some special thing that could have been borrowed from someone else and created the same effect.

5. A lot of people won't be happy for you. We have run in to this a few times and it takes you back the first couple of times it happens. Just know that it is going to happen and you just have to smile and move on. And then go cry to your fiance' about it- and get over it. If someone isn't happy for you- you shouldn't allow them to steal your happiness.

6. In going along with #5, be prepared for close relatives and close friends to inform you that your wedding date is an inconvenience. My deddy said "Well, that's just two less mouths I have to feed". Take that mentality- please. If it is important to someone- they will make it a point to be there. If it isn't- they will make an excuse. And the ones who choose to share your special day with you will be richly blessed in sharing your wedding with you. The others- well they just have to see it in the nice pictures you paid for.

7. Don't forget to just have some "couple" time. Planning can be a full time job- I can see why so many girls take on this responsibility after they plan their own weddings. It is fun and exciting- but also time consuming. Make time to spend with your fiance'- because you won't be engaged forever- you can't get that time back.

8. Girls- work on the wedding everyday- but only talk about it on selected days with the Groom. This is better for everyone's stress level. We have set days we can talk about it and make plans- the rest of the time I am not supposed to mention it. Pick your days and stick with that. The groom and others will get tired of hearing about it- and you want SOME element of surprise there for the attendants. Just don't surprise the groom with a large purchase you didn't discuss.

9. Wedding dress shopping is one of the most exhausting things you will ever do. If you want something specific- I suggest you call places near you and see if they have that style first. I spent 2.5 hours my first time trying on dresses that were not what I wanted by the lady just wanted to see if it would work. Do NOT Compromise ON THE DRESS. I had a bad experience at David's Bridal- so I am not going to knock them terribly- but seriously- don't let that be your only place you visit. Between the snotty nose kid wiping his snot wrag on the mirror that I was having to look into- and the lady not listening when I was telling her what I wanted- and having to get dressed again and then go hunt for more dresses- it was just too much for me. Go to a nicer place if you want a more "tailored to you" experience. I knew I wasnt going to find my dress on the first time- because I know how picky I am. My second experience was muchhhh better. My consultant listened to exactly what I said I wanted- hunted for dresses for me- and stayed in the room to help zip and unzip me. Do this when you go:

1. Take a robe that you can wear when you are searching for dresses. It sucks putting back on jeans to go look for your second round of dresses- so take a robe to put on so you can walk around the store. (My second time shopping I did this and it made my life SO much easier).
2. Take a bottle of water. Trying on 15+ dresses makes you sweaty and tired.
3. Don't take your entire bridal party. Seriously- that is all the more opinions you have to listen to. I would say 2 max.
4. Print out 5 pictures max of styles you like. This gives a visual to the consultant. (I didnt take any- because I just wanted to go in there with a blank slate and my vision).
5. If you don't like chiffon roses- don't try on chiffon roses. My cousin told me this- and it was true. Don't true on something if you don't like the style or the cut or the embroidery. Seriously- you are wasting yout time.
6. Relax if you don't find what you are looking for. It exists, I know it does, just be patient and you will find it. I told the lady my budget and we tried lots of dresses in the style I wanted- and even retried on one. But it wasnt the one. You will know it when you try it on. Just like you knew your boyfriend was the one- and how your ring was the one- the dress works in this magic as well. The very last dress I tried on was the one I got. Don't listen to that nonsense about buying the first dress you try on. I intentionally tried on an ugly one just so I could say I didnt buy the first one I tried on.
7. Have fun with and and don't get to stressed. It isn't the defining moment of the wedding.

These are just a few things I have learned- I am sure there will be a second post to this after the wedding. Stay tuned for the next post.