The Words That You Said

..still ring in my head....I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down.."

That is the song that put the Dixie Chicks up for a Grammy in 2007 I believe. They won that year. Took home one of the highest coveted awards for music entertainment. I have that cd. This cd was their response for speaking out about what they believed in, and not backing down. This was when all the stuff between them and Toby Keith got started, because of remarks made about the war and Bush- and how Natalie's had her life threatened from a fan "telling her to shut up and sing or her life would be over".

Now, I can't relate to having my life threatened. But I can identify with the other words in this song. It seems here lately that the words that I have said/written have been offensive to some people who read them and I have been called a few choice names the past few weeks. Let me say this with complete honesty and truth: this blog and the postings on it have NO intention to cause discord and strife for people who read it. If you really read it, like really read the postings, you will see this is all about my short comings and failures as a person- not anyone else's. It isn't meant to cause harm, make you mad, defriend me, or upset you. I honestly mean that- and if it has for any reason, I apologize, because I don't mean to upset you.

Now I will admit that I can be extremely brash sometimes and maybe I shouldn't put my complete feelings out in the open. I will agree with that. I know the type of personality I have- and sometimes I can just come across as a ______. I get that, you aren't the first person to tell me that. But when I post about struggling and feeling helpless, it isn't anything but my feelings. I am not projecting them on anyone, I am not asking you to feel sorry for me. I am just writing. If you read this- that is awesome. If you don't read my blog, trust me, the world isn't going to end.

With that being said, I don't want to write about things that don't matter. I don't want to invest time into things that are going no where. So, if you have been following, I hope to learn the true meaning of what a secret really is, how to not always speak out about things, how to truly listen, and how to just explore the introverted lifestyle. Yes a lot of my posts have been in the negative category- I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me again. I have just had a rough start to 2012. I am human- I am a refinement in process. I do make mistakes, huge wreckless mistakes. Sometimes I say things without thinking of how they will be read or interpreted. Sometimes I feel like life would be just fine without me here to mess it up. Sometimes I hurt too. I am sorry, truly to the utmost, apologetic if these words have made you question any part of my character, our friendship, and just me as a person in general.

Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.


I clearly have not lived up to this verse if you have been offended from anything I have posted, and I am sorry. I want to build you up- not tear you down. A spoon not a fork or a knife.