School is starting back this week in our town. Madness is brewing.
This year- I find myself starting back as well. Georgia Southern here I come!
I am so excited to be an Eagle- even if it is just online classes right now. I do want to attempt to get a PhD- but right now I will focus on these prerequisites I have to take before starting that program. I am honestly nervous about starting school again. I haven't done this in 4 years! Ahhhhh! Hopefully my transition will be smooth. I do know that one of my dreams is coming true- to go to a school with football. Thanks God! Also- big shout out to K. Pope for pushing me to Ga Southern. I am sure I wouldn't have even considered it had he not mentioned it.
If regular school is starting- that must mean COLLEGE is starting shortly after. Fall is an exciting time of year for me. I present so many presentations and meet with so many students- I look forward to the newness- the lack of information they have been given- and the excitement they bring to campus.
I am hoping 2013 turns out to be the best college year yet at good ol' GC. I have made lots of plans- signed lots of contracts- and changed the format in a lot of my presentations. Let's hope that planning pays off.
On another note:
Sometimes I tell Kevin it is really weird to be married. (not that I miss the single life- at all), but it just seems really strange to be able to call his former home my home now as well. Sometimes I don't feel like it is "my" home- because I haven't decorated very much, or there isn't much of "me" in the house. The guest bathroom has been painted sea foam green, so that makes me feel a little better- and there is one canvas picture of us on the wall- but still I find that it is missing elements to make me feel like I live there too.
Kevin had already picked the paint colors long before I came along- and all of the furniture- minus our bedroom and living room. I do miss that aspect of house hunting when I was single- and dreaming up big plans in my head of how I wanted it to look. I am very blessed to have a man who already had a house, I am grateful for that. And it is a craftsman style house- which I wanted. It is just hard for me to wrap my mind around that I live there too. Sometimes I just feel like my stuff is just "there".
I am trying to "put a girl in it"- but I find myself struggling to do this. Kevin says we can do whatever I want- so I have decided that paint makes everything look better. Upcoming projects: The master bath (because powder blue isn't that great love) and the laundry room (because I want to be joyful when I have to be in there, and macadamia nut just doesn't do it for me) and staining of the kitchen cabinets. And bath cabinets.
I am hoping these changes make it "my" home as well. Our home is quite empty when it comes to decorations and pictures. My goal for the rest of the year is to bring in lots of color and accents- and frame up some dang pictures of us- since we have 4 total in the house.
I just want our house to feel like home. It will get there, in due time.
My real life. Sometimes I say what I feel, sometimes I don't know what to say.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Things we are afraid of
Our Sunday school lesson this week talked about our fears. We had to go through a list of phobias and match them up with their phobia word.
I am not really scared of crowds, more so the people in the crowds.
I am not scared of the dentist- I actually like going- except when my teeth are sensitive.
I am not afraid of puppets- but creepy costumes and haunted houses freak me out.
I can deal with storms, I just dont like them.
I am not afraid of food, I just refuse to eat, touch, and smell certain ones. Mushrooms, olives, hotdogs, sausage in certain forms, coffee, tea, coke.
I am not afraid of being alone or by myself- sometimes I appreciate that time. I do worry about one day not being married to Kevin because of whatever- but I try not to dwell on it.
I wasnt really afraid of the things on this 10 item list, but I had to sit back and think of what I really am afraid of.
Someone hurting me or my family. That is a big one. I had my headphones in at the grocery store last night (to be alone) and Kevin said that wasn't safe because someone could attack me from behind and I wouldn't hear them. Clearly I wasn't too afraid of that last night- but now I am.
Even someone being mean to my parents doesnt sit well with me. Because my dad is older and doesnt understand this new technology way of life and my mom works in retail with mean customers.
Failure. One of my biggest. At being a noteworthy wife. School with Georgia Southern. My job. Working with the youth. Crafting. One day being a mom who has kids that turn out awful. I try not to spend much time here, but I think about failing.
I dont work so well with bugs. They creep me out and make my skin crawl just talking about them.
Scary movies and I don't mix. Yikes- I really dont like them at all and nightmares and lack of sleep are not something I enjoy. Keep them and the scary people in them away from me.
Some girl ruining my marriage. (I try to avoid thinking that my husband would be the cause of ruining it, because I dont want to think of him like that). Why do people think it is ok to mess up someone else's marriage because they aren't happy in theirs- or they want something that belongs to someone else (if they arent married)? This is probably #1 and I don't know it. Too many of my friend's and people I know through other friend's marriages have fallen apart because of this. It scares me everyday to think that my innocent sweet and top of the world marriage could fall apart because some girl whisks her way in between me and my husband. AHH. It makes me terrified and angry at the same time.
My husbands job brings a lot of sheer terror to my heart, but I choose not to dwell there. Because if I did, he would never be able to leave the house. I know he is in good hands and he is very talented and discerning in his job. I just consider it work like normal and look forward to seeing him come home every day or night.
Jesus says to not be afraid 21 times in the New Testament. That seems like a lot to me. I am going to hold true to his word- that perfect love casts out fear. He is the clear and precise definition of perfect love. I will hold on to Him and his words to not fear or be not afraid. So this week I encourage you to block out your fears and hold on to Christ.
I am not really scared of crowds, more so the people in the crowds.
I am not scared of the dentist- I actually like going- except when my teeth are sensitive.
I am not afraid of puppets- but creepy costumes and haunted houses freak me out.
I can deal with storms, I just dont like them.
I am not afraid of food, I just refuse to eat, touch, and smell certain ones. Mushrooms, olives, hotdogs, sausage in certain forms, coffee, tea, coke.
I am not afraid of being alone or by myself- sometimes I appreciate that time. I do worry about one day not being married to Kevin because of whatever- but I try not to dwell on it.
I wasnt really afraid of the things on this 10 item list, but I had to sit back and think of what I really am afraid of.
Someone hurting me or my family. That is a big one. I had my headphones in at the grocery store last night (to be alone) and Kevin said that wasn't safe because someone could attack me from behind and I wouldn't hear them. Clearly I wasn't too afraid of that last night- but now I am.
Even someone being mean to my parents doesnt sit well with me. Because my dad is older and doesnt understand this new technology way of life and my mom works in retail with mean customers.
Failure. One of my biggest. At being a noteworthy wife. School with Georgia Southern. My job. Working with the youth. Crafting. One day being a mom who has kids that turn out awful. I try not to spend much time here, but I think about failing.
I dont work so well with bugs. They creep me out and make my skin crawl just talking about them.
Scary movies and I don't mix. Yikes- I really dont like them at all and nightmares and lack of sleep are not something I enjoy. Keep them and the scary people in them away from me.
Some girl ruining my marriage. (I try to avoid thinking that my husband would be the cause of ruining it, because I dont want to think of him like that). Why do people think it is ok to mess up someone else's marriage because they aren't happy in theirs- or they want something that belongs to someone else (if they arent married)? This is probably #1 and I don't know it. Too many of my friend's and people I know through other friend's marriages have fallen apart because of this. It scares me everyday to think that my innocent sweet and top of the world marriage could fall apart because some girl whisks her way in between me and my husband. AHH. It makes me terrified and angry at the same time.
My husbands job brings a lot of sheer terror to my heart, but I choose not to dwell there. Because if I did, he would never be able to leave the house. I know he is in good hands and he is very talented and discerning in his job. I just consider it work like normal and look forward to seeing him come home every day or night.
Jesus says to not be afraid 21 times in the New Testament. That seems like a lot to me. I am going to hold true to his word- that perfect love casts out fear. He is the clear and precise definition of perfect love. I will hold on to Him and his words to not fear or be not afraid. So this week I encourage you to block out your fears and hold on to Christ.
People sometimes
I don't understand people sometimes. How the words that they choose roll out of their mouths so carelessly and to them are perfectly fine- but to me- are so wrong. What happened to think before you speak? Clearly we have lost touch with this virtue.
Just because you the sayer aren't offended by it, doesn't mean the hearer won't be.
Such as people's over-reaction to telling us when to have kids. I'm 100% sure that Kevin and I will be the ones paying for them- so I am really confused as to why some people have to be blatantly rude about telling us about when we should have kids.
I do respect the advice we have been given about enjoying our marriage- and we are. I just don't appreciate people telling me when we should or what we should do before.
Every situation is different. Outsiders don't know our entire family dynamics as to why or when we want to try to have kids. Personally- it should be of no concern to anyone buy my husband and myself.
"You are going to miss out on so much". Let me preface this with- both of us have college degrees, are advanced professionals, and and in careers not jobs. We are starting out much higher than most of the people getting married our age. We do have a lot going for us by ways of God's blessings. And we are very grateful. If you have never read this before, you might not know our story. But our story is so different than anyone else's. We waited a long time to find each other and we moved quick.
I guess I have just been frustrated by the CONSTANT reminder I have been given by people- to wait to have kids. I feel like it is only our business, not the world's.
When we feel the time is right, we will try. Regardless of who tells us to wait or do whatever.
Just because you the sayer aren't offended by it, doesn't mean the hearer won't be.
Such as people's over-reaction to telling us when to have kids. I'm 100% sure that Kevin and I will be the ones paying for them- so I am really confused as to why some people have to be blatantly rude about telling us about when we should have kids.
I do respect the advice we have been given about enjoying our marriage- and we are. I just don't appreciate people telling me when we should or what we should do before.
Every situation is different. Outsiders don't know our entire family dynamics as to why or when we want to try to have kids. Personally- it should be of no concern to anyone buy my husband and myself.
"You are going to miss out on so much". Let me preface this with- both of us have college degrees, are advanced professionals, and and in careers not jobs. We are starting out much higher than most of the people getting married our age. We do have a lot going for us by ways of God's blessings. And we are very grateful. If you have never read this before, you might not know our story. But our story is so different than anyone else's. We waited a long time to find each other and we moved quick.
I guess I have just been frustrated by the CONSTANT reminder I have been given by people- to wait to have kids. I feel like it is only our business, not the world's.
When we feel the time is right, we will try. Regardless of who tells us to wait or do whatever.
Friday, June 28, 2013
A month of Sundays
Married life update: Team Pope is still doing well and learning boundaries of each other- and not to overstep or crash down someone else's personal space bubble.
The things Pinterest doesn't teach you:
1. Changing your name legally is a fairly tedious process- it does tell you that -what it doesnt tell you is how many freaking places your name is!!! Geeze I never thought about EVERY place my name could be- but let me tell you it is a widespread arena of various destinations.
2. Laundry multiplies by 5 when you get married. I dont mind "doing" I mind folding. GRRR. The gnashing of teeth that insists when we have to do this! Neither of us like to do it- but we agree to do it together. That helps.
3. Getting back to the gym AFTER the wedding is REALLY HARD. Ihave had lost all motivation- until my husband made a comment about my backside- and my coworker asked if I was wearing tights. Nope these are my work pants. Awesome. Not cool. So- I have made it a few early times this week- motivation is slowly coming back.
4. It is a huge blessing to come home to dinner cooked. Kevin has been chef a couple of times this week since I was at VBS- and it has been SO nice to come home and not have to do anything. It made me realize how precious of an opportunity I have to provide for my husband when he comes home after his crazy schedule.
5. Finding time to just talk is few and far between when you marry someone in law enforcement. Someone is either sleeping or at work when the other one is gone or when you are home you just need time to decompress and deal with your own things. We have tried to make special date nights away from friends and family so we can just see each other as opposed to in passing. It is fun being married to a Trooper though. Hearing all these stories of the CRAZY people on the highways makes for good conversation. And hearing how many idiots and threats to society my husband got off of the road makes me a proud wife.
6. Baby fever hits early on- but after hanging out with friend's kids for more than 3 hours- you realize- mmm- I like my freedom and independence I have now. It is nice to go on trips with your spouse and just have to worry about you two. Super nice to go where ever and when ever- just because. In due time. In due time we will be ready- but not now.
7. There are a lot of gross happenings that occur when and man and woman are married. It is hard to accept- and still love them. Sometimes it is quite comical- other times it literally makes my stomach churn and I get a little sick. Both of us have had to learn to deal with these things. Yuck with a smile.
8. People expect more out of you now that you are married. More grown up decisions, more commitments, and more opportunities to be voluntold what to do. Sometimes it benefits you to say no and keep your marriage between you and your spouse.
9. Married life is easy when you realize you are not number 1 anymore. Putting your spouse 1st does not come easy- but it does with practice. Praying for them. Loving them. Doing things for them- and most importantly- saying you are sorry first. Although my way of saying sorry the other night was by ambush and pegging my husband in the head and chest with nerf gun bullets after he tried to come and talk-he got the point. It is super hard to admit you were wrong, but super easy when you realize how much you love your other half and they deserve to be respected too. Dont go to bed mad- it doesnt make for a good morning the next day. I have had to learn that. Give them their space and allow them time to calm down. They will come if you wait.
10. When you allow your spouse to do the things they love and enjoy- it makes them love you more. Even if it means you don't like doing their hobbies or activities. Kevin likes to do a lot of things that scare me or I think are boring- or are more like work than "hangout" time, but I suck it up and do them with him- or encourage him to do them. You can rest assured my husband has never told me to not go shopping or not spend money on something I wanted to do when I have encouraged him to go play poker or go to wing night- or watched one of his shows with him. There are a lot of things KP does that I could really care less about- but he loves it- and I will encourage my husband all the more to do the things he loves. And he does the same for me.
The things Pinterest doesn't teach you:
1. Changing your name legally is a fairly tedious process- it does tell you that -what it doesnt tell you is how many freaking places your name is!!! Geeze I never thought about EVERY place my name could be- but let me tell you it is a widespread arena of various destinations.
2. Laundry multiplies by 5 when you get married. I dont mind "doing" I mind folding. GRRR. The gnashing of teeth that insists when we have to do this! Neither of us like to do it- but we agree to do it together. That helps.
3. Getting back to the gym AFTER the wedding is REALLY HARD. I
4. It is a huge blessing to come home to dinner cooked. Kevin has been chef a couple of times this week since I was at VBS- and it has been SO nice to come home and not have to do anything. It made me realize how precious of an opportunity I have to provide for my husband when he comes home after his crazy schedule.
5. Finding time to just talk is few and far between when you marry someone in law enforcement. Someone is either sleeping or at work when the other one is gone or when you are home you just need time to decompress and deal with your own things. We have tried to make special date nights away from friends and family so we can just see each other as opposed to in passing. It is fun being married to a Trooper though. Hearing all these stories of the CRAZY people on the highways makes for good conversation. And hearing how many idiots and threats to society my husband got off of the road makes me a proud wife.
6. Baby fever hits early on- but after hanging out with friend's kids for more than 3 hours- you realize- mmm- I like my freedom and independence I have now. It is nice to go on trips with your spouse and just have to worry about you two. Super nice to go where ever and when ever- just because. In due time. In due time we will be ready- but not now.
7. There are a lot of gross happenings that occur when and man and woman are married. It is hard to accept- and still love them. Sometimes it is quite comical- other times it literally makes my stomach churn and I get a little sick. Both of us have had to learn to deal with these things. Yuck with a smile.
8. People expect more out of you now that you are married. More grown up decisions, more commitments, and more opportunities to be voluntold what to do. Sometimes it benefits you to say no and keep your marriage between you and your spouse.
9. Married life is easy when you realize you are not number 1 anymore. Putting your spouse 1st does not come easy- but it does with practice. Praying for them. Loving them. Doing things for them- and most importantly- saying you are sorry first. Although my way of saying sorry the other night was by ambush and pegging my husband in the head and chest with nerf gun bullets after he tried to come and talk-he got the point. It is super hard to admit you were wrong, but super easy when you realize how much you love your other half and they deserve to be respected too. Dont go to bed mad- it doesnt make for a good morning the next day. I have had to learn that. Give them their space and allow them time to calm down. They will come if you wait.
10. When you allow your spouse to do the things they love and enjoy- it makes them love you more. Even if it means you don't like doing their hobbies or activities. Kevin likes to do a lot of things that scare me or I think are boring- or are more like work than "hangout" time, but I suck it up and do them with him- or encourage him to do them. You can rest assured my husband has never told me to not go shopping or not spend money on something I wanted to do when I have encouraged him to go play poker or go to wing night- or watched one of his shows with him. There are a lot of things KP does that I could really care less about- but he loves it- and I will encourage my husband all the more to do the things he loves. And he does the same for me.
Love them like Jesus does
I haven't blogged in a really long time. I had to take a break from social media and regroup- because honestly- some people are just overwhelming and ridiculous.
I am sure I will make a lot of mini posts more than longer ones- because I have a lot rolling around in my head and heart that I need to get out. I guess I could use a journal- but some of it is more relevant for others to hear than for me to just keep it to myself.
My heart broke last night at VBS. The teacher asked the kids if they could share a really sad time in their life and the first kid to raise his hand said "My dad died in the Coast Guard". If that doesnt break your heart- then you are in need of some help.
I had tears well up in my eyes and I know a few of the other ladies did as well. Man I complain so much- and this kid- just broke me down.
I have been SO SICK OF PEOPLE lately. From the pointless and stupid posts- to the teenage love soap operas- and the freaking pictures in the gym- I just was ready to nut up on someone. I took a couple days of break- and it was so nice not to hear about things I could care less about.
Our culture is now defined by the amount of pictures you can take and amount of hashtags you can use. (I have these accounts too- so I hear myself talking). People- WAKE UP. We are missing out.
I dont dang care how many times a week you go to the gym- nor do I want to see pictures of that while you are at the gym. Just work out- geeze. We are missing so many opportunities. I'm sure people don't want to see pictures of my dogs either- so I see both sides. The point I am making is we are not using our time wisely.
I have been reminded the past few days how precious time with the Lord is- and how unimportant our selfish desires really are. Kevin and I read the Bible the other night together and it was such a blessing to just sit and listen to hear him read it and us talk about it.
God has been trying to teach me the art of learning to keep my mouth shut. And I have- for the most part. I have stayed away from people- I have hidden people on my feeds- I have not given my opinion even when it burned inside of me to correct people's ignorance- but the one thing I have yet to do- is pray about it as much as I get mad about it. God has also been trying to teach me to love others like he does.
My husband gave me a firm reminder last night about "making fun" of people. I thought I was just stating a "fact" and he said different.
It is so hard to love people. I have written about that before- but God needs to apparently teach me again because I didnt get it the first time. People frustrate us- let us down- lie to us- overwhelm and neglect us. But the one thing we can do is love them like Jesus did. Just love them- even if you can't bring yourself to like them. Pray for them- pray for blessings for them. Be real- and nice to them- even when it hurts you or your pride.
Funny- one of our VBS verses this week is "Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing". (1 Thess 5:11)- God help me to set out to be "doing".
I am sure I will make a lot of mini posts more than longer ones- because I have a lot rolling around in my head and heart that I need to get out. I guess I could use a journal- but some of it is more relevant for others to hear than for me to just keep it to myself.
My heart broke last night at VBS. The teacher asked the kids if they could share a really sad time in their life and the first kid to raise his hand said "My dad died in the Coast Guard". If that doesnt break your heart- then you are in need of some help.
I had tears well up in my eyes and I know a few of the other ladies did as well. Man I complain so much- and this kid- just broke me down.
I have been SO SICK OF PEOPLE lately. From the pointless and stupid posts- to the teenage love soap operas- and the freaking pictures in the gym- I just was ready to nut up on someone. I took a couple days of break- and it was so nice not to hear about things I could care less about.
Our culture is now defined by the amount of pictures you can take and amount of hashtags you can use. (I have these accounts too- so I hear myself talking). People- WAKE UP. We are missing out.
I dont dang care how many times a week you go to the gym- nor do I want to see pictures of that while you are at the gym. Just work out- geeze. We are missing so many opportunities. I'm sure people don't want to see pictures of my dogs either- so I see both sides. The point I am making is we are not using our time wisely.
I have been reminded the past few days how precious time with the Lord is- and how unimportant our selfish desires really are. Kevin and I read the Bible the other night together and it was such a blessing to just sit and listen to hear him read it and us talk about it.
God has been trying to teach me the art of learning to keep my mouth shut. And I have- for the most part. I have stayed away from people- I have hidden people on my feeds- I have not given my opinion even when it burned inside of me to correct people's ignorance- but the one thing I have yet to do- is pray about it as much as I get mad about it. God has also been trying to teach me to love others like he does.
My husband gave me a firm reminder last night about "making fun" of people. I thought I was just stating a "fact" and he said different.
It is so hard to love people. I have written about that before- but God needs to apparently teach me again because I didnt get it the first time. People frustrate us- let us down- lie to us- overwhelm and neglect us. But the one thing we can do is love them like Jesus did. Just love them- even if you can't bring yourself to like them. Pray for them- pray for blessings for them. Be real- and nice to them- even when it hurts you or your pride.
Funny- one of our VBS verses this week is "Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing". (1 Thess 5:11)- God help me to set out to be "doing".
Friday, May 10, 2013
I Won't Give Up
If you read that last post, know that this one goes along with it.
A few people who attended our wedding asked for our vows. I asked my husband and he said I could share them with you.
We decided to do an "untraditional" wedding- so there were a lot of things we left out- because we just didn't see the point of doing them.
We didn't do a unity candle, sand etc. We didn't say traditional vows. I didn't do a traditional white cake. No songs being sung during the wedding.
We did it how we wanted, and that is my best advice- do it the way you want- because you should be thinking this is your only shot to have it done the way you see your dreams play out.
With that, I give you our vows. These are our own, inspired by God, and taken directly from our pre- marital counseling sessions. I would encourage you to write your own, and not plagiarize.
A few people who attended our wedding asked for our vows. I asked my husband and he said I could share them with you.
We decided to do an "untraditional" wedding- so there were a lot of things we left out- because we just didn't see the point of doing them.
We didn't do a unity candle, sand etc. We didn't say traditional vows. I didn't do a traditional white cake. No songs being sung during the wedding.
We did it how we wanted, and that is my best advice- do it the way you want- because you should be thinking this is your only shot to have it done the way you see your dreams play out.
With that, I give you our vows. These are our own, inspired by God, and taken directly from our pre- marital counseling sessions. I would encourage you to write your own, and not plagiarize.
I, Kevin, take thee Rachel, to be my wife. I promise to love you and honor you as Christ does the church. I promise to lead our family as head of our home. I promise to never take you for granted and to love you more each and every day than I did the last. I promise to always put you first in my life and to protect you with my life. Through good times and troubling times, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer until we depart from the earth.
(Mine are a lot longer, but I had a lot to say! {surprise surprise})
I, Rachel, take you Kevin, to be my husband. I submit myself unto you to allow you to lead our family in the role God has ordained for you. I vow to respect you with my words- my actions- and my attitude when I am with you or apart from you. I promise to listen to you, encourage and pray for you. I will stand by you when we are faced with hardships and in moments of celebrations, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I won't give up on us. I commit myself to you and only you and promise to honor you with faithfulness, time, and love until our time on earth is complete.
Someone you know needs to hear this
I'm just going to say it. A lot of friends and people we know are going through the process of the "d" word. It is really overwhelming for me as a newlywed to see so many marriages around me failing. Kevin and I sat at dinner the other night and prayed specifically for 3 sets of couples that we know.
Some of these- oh a "d" word is the best thing for them. No one deserves to be slapped around, yelled at and cornered- or lied to and continually put down. There is no place for any of that in a marriage.
Relationships that are strained need 3 things- in my personal opinion. I know that I am not a Counselor, but I do know that these have been essential to us during our engagement, and even more so now that we are married.
Communication- If you don't talk about it- the person doesn't know about it. Allow time to talk- openly and freely and learn to understand that words can truly determine how the rest of the day is going to go. Be a Barnabas- and encourage each other. Use words to build them up and not tear them down. (Ephesians 4:29)
Use the utensil model to determine what kind of person you want to be. A knife, a fork or a spoon. A knife is used to tear apart things. Are the words and actions you choose tearing people apart and ruining them? A fork pierces and pokes. Are you continually playing on weaknesses and poking fun or making them feel like less of a person? Forks also have holes. Are you choosing to allow somethings to disappear in your life that you don't want the other to know about? Or do you choose to be the spoon? Spoons cradle and support. Spoons are the only utensil that can be used to scrape up the pieces and put them all together. Are you supporting your significant other and always there for them- using words and actions that hold them together?
Forgiveness- If you are a christian, then you should know the whole premise of our faith is built on forgiveness. Christ did the ultimate forgiveness and took on our shame and sins- and gave us new life. We should find it in our hearts to learn to look to the cross and model forgiveness after Christ. Forgiveness is NOT EASY. If it was easy, man the world be be a better place. I would encourage those who are hurt from others to seek out christian counseling so you can learn to forgive. Harboring bitterness doesn't hurt the person you are mad with- it hurts you and only you. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.
I am a true testament that once you allow forgiveness to flow through, you can be made new again. Take my last year for example. I was so angry and hurt that I lost a lot of weight, had my hair start falling out and made my iron bottom out- as well as my credit card debt was significantly increased. Once I came to terms with my life- and forgave- I started to get better- and I have no credit card debt anymore. It is hard- but it is so worth it. Only God can create this peace in you- don't look for it any where than in the arms of Christ.
Restoration- This part is hard too. This is a process and will take an undetermined amount of time for each person. It is vital to any part of healing you want to take part in. Know this: Just as only we can learn forgiveness from Jesus, we can only be restored by God. Nothing else on this earth can fill this void. We can fill it with doughnuts- or the gym. You can put other people in there to "fix" you- or you can shut out the world. You can also give up- or you can give in. No matter what earthly thing you choose- the only way you can be restored is through God working in and out of you.
If your relationship is failing- (and more so to the account that you/your other said "I just don't love you anymore) I would encourage you to get in the Word, pray often, seek out christian counseling- and to participate in The Love Dare. It is a book that goes along with the movie, Fireproof. If you have never seen it, you need to watch it. The Love Dare challenges all things society says about "Imma do Me" and teaches you how to put your significant other before your needs and wants.
Even if your relationship isn't failing, you need to see this movie.
God can and will take all of the brokenness and hurt- the shame and the lies- the moments of desperation and the moments of defeat- and turn it into something beautiful. It may not come as quickly as you want, but if you hold on to the promise that God is faithful to those who call out to him and believe in his son- he is and will be at work around you. Ecclesiastes 3:11- He has made everything beautiful in its time. Your time is coming- turn it over to God and allow him to start the healing process.
As I close, know that I am not judging you for your situation. I would welcome any opportunity to pray for and encourage you if you wanted it. If you need more of a pick-me up than my humble words, I hope you listen to these songs and find some strength and peace.
Some of these- oh a "d" word is the best thing for them. No one deserves to be slapped around, yelled at and cornered- or lied to and continually put down. There is no place for any of that in a marriage.
Relationships that are strained need 3 things- in my personal opinion. I know that I am not a Counselor, but I do know that these have been essential to us during our engagement, and even more so now that we are married.
Communication- If you don't talk about it- the person doesn't know about it. Allow time to talk- openly and freely and learn to understand that words can truly determine how the rest of the day is going to go. Be a Barnabas- and encourage each other. Use words to build them up and not tear them down. (Ephesians 4:29)
Use the utensil model to determine what kind of person you want to be. A knife, a fork or a spoon. A knife is used to tear apart things. Are the words and actions you choose tearing people apart and ruining them? A fork pierces and pokes. Are you continually playing on weaknesses and poking fun or making them feel like less of a person? Forks also have holes. Are you choosing to allow somethings to disappear in your life that you don't want the other to know about? Or do you choose to be the spoon? Spoons cradle and support. Spoons are the only utensil that can be used to scrape up the pieces and put them all together. Are you supporting your significant other and always there for them- using words and actions that hold them together?
Forgiveness- If you are a christian, then you should know the whole premise of our faith is built on forgiveness. Christ did the ultimate forgiveness and took on our shame and sins- and gave us new life. We should find it in our hearts to learn to look to the cross and model forgiveness after Christ. Forgiveness is NOT EASY. If it was easy, man the world be be a better place. I would encourage those who are hurt from others to seek out christian counseling so you can learn to forgive. Harboring bitterness doesn't hurt the person you are mad with- it hurts you and only you. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially.
I am a true testament that once you allow forgiveness to flow through, you can be made new again. Take my last year for example. I was so angry and hurt that I lost a lot of weight, had my hair start falling out and made my iron bottom out- as well as my credit card debt was significantly increased. Once I came to terms with my life- and forgave- I started to get better- and I have no credit card debt anymore. It is hard- but it is so worth it. Only God can create this peace in you- don't look for it any where than in the arms of Christ.
Restoration- This part is hard too. This is a process and will take an undetermined amount of time for each person. It is vital to any part of healing you want to take part in. Know this: Just as only we can learn forgiveness from Jesus, we can only be restored by God. Nothing else on this earth can fill this void. We can fill it with doughnuts- or the gym. You can put other people in there to "fix" you- or you can shut out the world. You can also give up- or you can give in. No matter what earthly thing you choose- the only way you can be restored is through God working in and out of you.
If your relationship is failing- (and more so to the account that you/your other said "I just don't love you anymore) I would encourage you to get in the Word, pray often, seek out christian counseling- and to participate in The Love Dare. It is a book that goes along with the movie, Fireproof. If you have never seen it, you need to watch it. The Love Dare challenges all things society says about "Imma do Me" and teaches you how to put your significant other before your needs and wants.
Even if your relationship isn't failing, you need to see this movie.
God can and will take all of the brokenness and hurt- the shame and the lies- the moments of desperation and the moments of defeat- and turn it into something beautiful. It may not come as quickly as you want, but if you hold on to the promise that God is faithful to those who call out to him and believe in his son- he is and will be at work around you. Ecclesiastes 3:11- He has made everything beautiful in its time. Your time is coming- turn it over to God and allow him to start the healing process.
As I close, know that I am not judging you for your situation. I would welcome any opportunity to pray for and encourage you if you wanted it. If you need more of a pick-me up than my humble words, I hope you listen to these songs and find some strength and peace.
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