"Let Her Cry"

Are you a Hootie and the Blowfish fan? I certainly am. My parents loved them when I was growing up, so I know all the words. Their song "Let Her Cry" is a song about a girl who chooses drugs and completely changes in a relationship and how the guy responds to her and how he has to leave.

The chorus goes:
Let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain

Let her sing, if it eases all her pain
Let her go,let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be, let her be.

Not that I can relate to the drug part, but the part about crying- oh yeah I understand that fully. I have some amazing friends who have helped me through this crappy time in my life. Friends who have let me cry it out on their shoulders, run over to their houses because they understand what it is like to feel this way, and friends who have never told me once to stop crying.

These have been my truest of friends. Never once telling me to "get over it" or "you should be done crying"; if anything, they have cared enough about me to encourage my crying and to cry as much as I want.

One person, who has tried to be in my business when it is of no place of their business told me in these words exactly "Eventually you'll realize that there's nothing worth crying over. You'll be fine"... next message "its not like I'm trying to be doctor Phil. I'm just saying "get over it, it was a break up, you weren't married, so you should be over this in about a month" in a nice way. Does that clear it up?"

Do you know how those words stung? Can you imagine the feelings of anger and hostility that engulfed my being when I read that? If that was the nice way- my gosh, I would hate to know how you really felt.  Don't ever say those words- to anyone, but especially a GIRL. Nothing worth crying over? A month to get over? I'm sorry- we dated for over a year, it isn't something you just let go of in a month. Girl's hearts were created to love, and that process doesn't just vaporize once the relationship ends.

This person has made me so angry- yet I have to remind my friends who have said "cry as much as you need" and "it is ok to cry Rachel, that means you cared". Don't ever take that healing process away from someone- if they are crying. It isn't your battle. It has nothing to do with you thinking crying is ludacrious. Like Hootie said, "let her cry, ...let her be".

People have to deal with things how they choose. They need to find healing and cleansing through those tears. I know I am not going to be this way forever, gosh I so hope that, but I know that I truly loved someone, gave them my heart and invested more than just a month's worth of feeling into them. I know that this is going to affect me for the rest of my life and I know that if I want to break down and cry- it is ok to do that. It is part of me dealing with it.

So, this note is a thank you to the people who have never once tried to suffocate my feelings or be mean to me because I have been a basket case. I appreciate your true friendship- and the ability to be able to cry in front of you and you not judge me. Thank you for loving me.