What do all of these verses have in common?
Leviticus 19:18 Zechariah 8:17 Matthew 19:19 Matthew 22:3 Mark 12:31
Luke 10:27 Romans 13:9 Galatians 5:14 James 2:8
They are commandments to love our neighbors as our self. That is NINE verses that tell us to love our neighbors as you love yourself. It must be pretty important, to be mentioned 9 times. I don't know if you struggle with this, but I do. Neighbor: not just those living in close proximity to you, but those who are around you.
I prayed desperately for a new place to live this summer, and God listened and provided a nice townhouse. What I didn't remember to pray for was good neighbors. I have a really good neighbor to the right of me, 1 good one down a few doors to the right and 3 really crappy ones to the left of me. That is all I know in the complex. The 3 next to me- boil my blood to a new level. I have called the cops on them multiple times, still nothing changes.
I was reminded of the essence of these verses last night as I was about to call the cops. Granted, it was just their music that was blarring, but it started at 930pm and lasted til 12am. I can honestly say I can not STAND these 3 people next to me. They are going no where in life, at all, but- God still says I should love them. Loving and liking people are 2 different things, and I hope you realize that.
I want to live my life as if these verses were made alive in me. Too often we read the Word and don't really listen to the Lord as he speaks them to us. Loving people different from yourself is hard- they fail us, they make us uncomfortable, they take advantage of us, they don't respect you, and they certainly seek for the betterment of themselves than consider someone else in the process. But heres the thing: I was once there at one time in my life too. As Christians, we are set apart and called to a higher standard than those who have not found the Lord yet. One of the biggest errors on our part is forgetting that had it not been for grace, we would still be of this world. I want to meet people where they are. Remind me in my heart God, that your blanket of grace is big enough to cover the people that I stuggle with loving. Show me how to love (not the Lil' Wayne version- the Jesus Christ love version). I hope you choose to love the people, your neighbors, that you come into contact with this week.
My real life. Sometimes I say what I feel, sometimes I don't know what to say.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
The people that care
People know what is going on in my life, even if I haven't spoken it to them. My countenance is different and they notice the changes when I try to suppress them. I am grateful that these people truly know me, and truly care. Not only have they given me words of encouragement, but they have said they have been praying for me. Do you know how that resounds in my mind? These people care enough about me to pray for me, because they know something isn't right with Rachel.
Am I being that kind of friend to them? Do I notice when people are having a rough day or rough time and try to reach out to them? Or do I just pass them over, because my "problems" are so much more important to deal with? Hmm. Makes me wonder. Am I missing the forest because of the trees; am I so wrapped up in this pity party I have been having that I don't notice other's brokenness. I want to be the kind of friend that these people have been for me.
People have listened to me cry, moan and just listen to the anger and exasperation running through me. They have patiently sat and been there, even when they had their own lives to deal with. People have POURED into me- With their insight, understanding, words of affirmation, and with their time.
You know you are a true friend when you drop everything in your life to help someone deal with something in theirs. One time I called a friend and couldn't even talk because I was crying so much, and she said "get in your car and come over here". This was late at night- yet she reached out to me in my lonely place.
"Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God" 2 Cor. 3-4
God comforts us--> We can then use that experience to comfort others in their time of need. I'm forever grateful for the people who have truly made this verse come alive with me.
Am I being that kind of friend to them? Do I notice when people are having a rough day or rough time and try to reach out to them? Or do I just pass them over, because my "problems" are so much more important to deal with? Hmm. Makes me wonder. Am I missing the forest because of the trees; am I so wrapped up in this pity party I have been having that I don't notice other's brokenness. I want to be the kind of friend that these people have been for me.
People have listened to me cry, moan and just listen to the anger and exasperation running through me. They have patiently sat and been there, even when they had their own lives to deal with. People have POURED into me- With their insight, understanding, words of affirmation, and with their time.
You know you are a true friend when you drop everything in your life to help someone deal with something in theirs. One time I called a friend and couldn't even talk because I was crying so much, and she said "get in your car and come over here". This was late at night- yet she reached out to me in my lonely place.
"Praise be to the God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God" 2 Cor. 3-4
God comforts us--> We can then use that experience to comfort others in their time of need. I'm forever grateful for the people who have truly made this verse come alive with me.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Plans & that whole "bigger and better" thing
Last night I had the privilege to speak to the BCM as I told you yesterday. It was really exciting to be back in my old "college stomping grounds". BSU, as it was when I was there was my safe haven. I was literally there almost everyday of the week. Most of my friends from college I met here and I went on a lot of mission trips with this ministry. I will be forever grateful for my time spent there.
I prayed about what to talk about for a while, because I didnt want to 1) talk about something not relevant to the students and 2) not cry about my recent circumstances in front of anyone else. I prayed and prayed and God showed me what to talk about.
I talked about how we make plans and so many times our plans FAIL. I told these students of the time when God changed my heart in my Jr year of college to quit thinking I was going to be a Medical Missionary in a hut in Africa. I was going to be a nurse and that is all I knew. I got rejected from Nursing school 3 times, 2 from GCSU and 1 from Medical College of Ga. I was still bound and determined to be a nurse. God had something different in mind.
I went to a conference for BSUs from Tn, GA, SC and AL in Chattanooga TN in February sometime of 2005. I went to this missions breakout session and was ready to hear what it meant to be a missionary. The man was talking and it was really cool, then someone asked about "What about Medical Missions? I want to be a nurse and do medical missions." and right then and there I sat up straighter and was like yeah, what about them. I knew it was going to be awesome whatever he said. He said something to the effect of "Medical missions are great, but a lot of countries are closed to medicine coming in. You cant even take Tylenol into some countries. So, I really just need people who are willing to just talk and build relationships with people, teach them a sport, hang out with them and just get to know them. Nothing big, but just talking to people". I could feel the presence of the Lord more strongly than I had before.
I thought to myself "this is not happening, what? God, that is the only thing I am good at- talking. What are you trying to say to me? NO! I wont have it. Medical Missions bring back my focus. Medical Missions Medical Missions." The whole time this man was talking, I swear it felt like he was looking directly at me. Serious. I was the only one in the room and there were at least 100 people in there. He went on talking about building relationships with people and becomming friends with them was what the mission field needed. The whole time I could feel something that I honestly cant explain. It was just something of bearing and thickness pressing down on my spirit. I know it was the Holy Spirit saying, your plans are great, but God has something so much more for you". By the end of the session, I said, OK God, I hear ya, Im going to change my major (it was my jr year keep that in mind, but I had been taking these Health Education classes just til I got into nursing school..) I went out of that seminar a different person. I knew I was going to change my major come Monday and I knew without a shadow of doubt that God was telling me that this is what he wanted for me. I found one of my friends from school and told them "Im changing my major when we get back" they were like, ok thats cool..not really into it you know?
I remember going and sitting in a chair and just praying, ok God, if this is really what you want, make it real. Make it happen. My friend that I told must have went and told my Best Friend Ashley Strickland during this time. I walk back to our hotel room a little while later and Im just hanging out in the room and Ashley BURSTS in the door and comes up to me and says "I heard you were changing your major" and I said "yeah how did you hear that so quickly?" and she says "I have been praying all weekend for you to change your major because I knew that is not what God wanted for you."
Stop. The. Bus. WHAT? I looked at her with some kind of crazy eye and she said I have been praying God would do something to change your mind because I just knew nursing wasnt for you.
In that moment, God made it real. And I have never once looked back to being a nurse. Health Education is my passion and I get to use my gift of plain old talking to people and try and make a difference in their lives. God knows what he is doing.
I leave you with the verses I used last night. I hope you find some revelation and insight in them.
Jeremiah 29:11
Psalm 33: 10-11
Psalm 94:11
Proverbs 16: 1-4, 9
Philippians 4:6-8
Matthew 6:33
And about that bigger and better thing, I didn't think that was Biblical, but honestly it is, but so much more AWESOME the way the Bible explains it.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (NIV)
Amplified Bible is for people who like emphasis- I love this version!
20Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--
WHOA! It is biblical. God fails our plans to draw us into His, because they are so much more than we could even DREAM up. I want the superabundantly. I want immeasurably more. And if I trust God's plans and not my own, I can't wait to see how this turns out!
I prayed about what to talk about for a while, because I didnt want to 1) talk about something not relevant to the students and 2) not cry about my recent circumstances in front of anyone else. I prayed and prayed and God showed me what to talk about.
I talked about how we make plans and so many times our plans FAIL. I told these students of the time when God changed my heart in my Jr year of college to quit thinking I was going to be a Medical Missionary in a hut in Africa. I was going to be a nurse and that is all I knew. I got rejected from Nursing school 3 times, 2 from GCSU and 1 from Medical College of Ga. I was still bound and determined to be a nurse. God had something different in mind.
I went to a conference for BSUs from Tn, GA, SC and AL in Chattanooga TN in February sometime of 2005. I went to this missions breakout session and was ready to hear what it meant to be a missionary. The man was talking and it was really cool, then someone asked about "What about Medical Missions? I want to be a nurse and do medical missions." and right then and there I sat up straighter and was like yeah, what about them. I knew it was going to be awesome whatever he said. He said something to the effect of "Medical missions are great, but a lot of countries are closed to medicine coming in. You cant even take Tylenol into some countries. So, I really just need people who are willing to just talk and build relationships with people, teach them a sport, hang out with them and just get to know them. Nothing big, but just talking to people". I could feel the presence of the Lord more strongly than I had before.
I thought to myself "this is not happening, what? God, that is the only thing I am good at- talking. What are you trying to say to me? NO! I wont have it. Medical Missions bring back my focus. Medical Missions Medical Missions." The whole time this man was talking, I swear it felt like he was looking directly at me. Serious. I was the only one in the room and there were at least 100 people in there. He went on talking about building relationships with people and becomming friends with them was what the mission field needed. The whole time I could feel something that I honestly cant explain. It was just something of bearing and thickness pressing down on my spirit. I know it was the Holy Spirit saying, your plans are great, but God has something so much more for you". By the end of the session, I said, OK God, I hear ya, Im going to change my major (it was my jr year keep that in mind, but I had been taking these Health Education classes just til I got into nursing school..) I went out of that seminar a different person. I knew I was going to change my major come Monday and I knew without a shadow of doubt that God was telling me that this is what he wanted for me. I found one of my friends from school and told them "Im changing my major when we get back" they were like, ok thats cool..not really into it you know?
I remember going and sitting in a chair and just praying, ok God, if this is really what you want, make it real. Make it happen. My friend that I told must have went and told my Best Friend Ashley Strickland during this time. I walk back to our hotel room a little while later and Im just hanging out in the room and Ashley BURSTS in the door and comes up to me and says "I heard you were changing your major" and I said "yeah how did you hear that so quickly?" and she says "I have been praying all weekend for you to change your major because I knew that is not what God wanted for you."
Stop. The. Bus. WHAT? I looked at her with some kind of crazy eye and she said I have been praying God would do something to change your mind because I just knew nursing wasnt for you.
In that moment, God made it real. And I have never once looked back to being a nurse. Health Education is my passion and I get to use my gift of plain old talking to people and try and make a difference in their lives. God knows what he is doing.
I leave you with the verses I used last night. I hope you find some revelation and insight in them.
Jeremiah 29:11
Psalm 33: 10-11
Psalm 94:11
Proverbs 16: 1-4, 9
Philippians 4:6-8
Matthew 6:33
And about that bigger and better thing, I didn't think that was Biblical, but honestly it is, but so much more AWESOME the way the Bible explains it.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, (NIV)
Amplified Bible is for people who like emphasis- I love this version!
20Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--
WHOA! It is biblical. God fails our plans to draw us into His, because they are so much more than we could even DREAM up. I want the superabundantly. I want immeasurably more. And if I trust God's plans and not my own, I can't wait to see how this turns out!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Divine appointments
Back again. Whoop. Yeahhh.
Today is a BIG day for me. Im the guest speaker at the BCM (formerly Baptist Student Union for all the people who were in school with me!) and I am kinda still in shock I was even asked to speak. The new Campus Minister is really cool and has a really genuine family here with him in Milledgeville. Why he asked me- I may never know that answer. Maybe he thinks I am awesome.. I will let him keep believing that! Anyway, I will blog about what will have talked about tomorrow. For now, I want to share insight into something my friend Brett Chatham introduced me to my sophmore/his freshman year of college. I think it was then. If it wasn't that exact time frame- it was sometime while we were in college ministry at Northside!!
I wholeheartedly believe in Divine Appointments. That is- There is something other than a coinsidence driving you to where you are and when you come in contact with people. God has ordained these appointments and it isn't just because you live in a small town and see everybody at the store- or isn't just because you get a random phone call out of the blue. No my friends, (if anyoen is even reading this), it is inspired by God.
Let's take yesterday for example. I have been trying to work out more and with that comes walking Mowgli more. Lately, I have been making her walk really far- because I have had a lot to say to God and am trying to listen and commune with him. I decided we would take a different route. I always go right one day and left the next, and make a big square block, but today, I went completely left-and up by First Baptist. I never go "up" this way, I usually come "down" this way on its designated days. Anyway..I pass by Washington Street- the prettiest street in Milledgeville said my late friend Matt Flurry. It is. So pretty with the overlapping trees and just how the road is divided..I decided to not turn down it and just go on up another block.
Im walking, Mowgli is peeing- you know how it goes. And then, I see a really nicely dressed guy walking from the school in my direction- and I'm thinking- why is is professor so dressed up? Anyway as I am getting to make my right turn, this guy says Hey Rachel! And I didnt recognize him, but as he got closer and I heard his voice more, I realized it was a college friend of mine named Jared. He was in town for a Career Fair at the School and doing some recruiting. We made small talk about how I was sorry I couldnt talk to him when he called last month because I was at a conference and then he said I saw about your dog, I am really sorry to hear about that. And I proceeded to tell him yeah, it was really hard, considering it happened right after my boyfriend broke up with me. Jared was so compassionate and said I will be praying for things to get better for you. We talked about some other stuff and then I asked how he was. He got sort or downtrodden and said "I dont know if you knew this or not, but my father passed away in (October I believe)."
At that moment, God gave me a big punch in the stomach. I could hear him saying "See my child, if the worst things for you right now are a breakup and your dog dying, you have it pretty good compared to some other people". Ouch. ohh. Throughout this whole process God has been trying to tell me, someone has things so much more worse than you, so shut up complaining. I have complained a lot, and cried a lot, but complained more. My sweet friend was still coming to grips that his deddy (he says it too!) was not here anymore and my heart just wanted to go out to him.
I talked with Jared for probbaly 10 more minutes about our "plans" and how they always fail if God isnt in them. We talked about being real with God and not being angry, but just being real with God and pouring out our hearts to him and just asking him questions. Read Psalms. My coworker told me one day that all throughout the Psalms people start the passage with "oh woe is me, why are you doing this to me God, I hate my life" kind of beginnings, but by the end, their attitude has changed when they realize God is still God and still in control, even when the world is passing you by or failing you. It is OK to be real with God. It is ok to tell him how miserable you are. It is OK to cry.
What I am learning, through the Word, my true friends who genuienly care about my well being, and my own search for peace with my communion with God, is that it is NOT ok to dwell in this misery, in the bad things of our situations. Dwell: sit or stay or tarry there. You think about it more. It consumes you if you dwell in something (good or bad). Dwell is such an old fashioned word but such a relavent piece of advice. Dwell. it's a fun word to say, like Fransisco! ;0 Dwell, really think about it.
If I want to be happy, or just enjoy what I am given, I must choose to dwell in the place of happiness. Dwell in the arms of Christ that were stretched out on a cross to cover me and my ugly shameful sins. Dwell in the riches that God has promised me- an heir to the throne of a kingdom. Dwell in the peace that passes all understanding (And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7)
What are you dwelling in friends? When I think of dwell I get the image of a pig who likes to wallow in the mud. They cover themselves with it. Then when it gets dry- the run right back to it and roll around in it some more. Are you rolling around in self pity? Are you choosing to tarry in the mindset of depression?? Are you dwelling on the past and the things that you cannot control? If I am going to be a dweller, I say to you, Imma dwell in the good mud! Not the mud that smells and ruins everything, but the mud that covers me and surrounds me with comfort and peace. The mud that doesnt dry up. The mud that is lasting and sustaining. Im going to dwell in the Lord.
I know that God ordained my sidewalk appointment with Jared yesterday. I know that God puts those little blessings in our lives to remind us that he still cares, he is still there. God hears, every little whimper. Thank God for the Divine Appointments you are sometimes surprised with- and dwell in the Lord.
Today is a BIG day for me. Im the guest speaker at the BCM (formerly Baptist Student Union for all the people who were in school with me!) and I am kinda still in shock I was even asked to speak. The new Campus Minister is really cool and has a really genuine family here with him in Milledgeville. Why he asked me- I may never know that answer. Maybe he thinks I am awesome.. I will let him keep believing that! Anyway, I will blog about what will have talked about tomorrow. For now, I want to share insight into something my friend Brett Chatham introduced me to my sophmore/his freshman year of college. I think it was then. If it wasn't that exact time frame- it was sometime while we were in college ministry at Northside!!
I wholeheartedly believe in Divine Appointments. That is- There is something other than a coinsidence driving you to where you are and when you come in contact with people. God has ordained these appointments and it isn't just because you live in a small town and see everybody at the store- or isn't just because you get a random phone call out of the blue. No my friends, (if anyoen is even reading this), it is inspired by God.
Let's take yesterday for example. I have been trying to work out more and with that comes walking Mowgli more. Lately, I have been making her walk really far- because I have had a lot to say to God and am trying to listen and commune with him. I decided we would take a different route. I always go right one day and left the next, and make a big square block, but today, I went completely left-and up by First Baptist. I never go "up" this way, I usually come "down" this way on its designated days. Anyway..I pass by Washington Street- the prettiest street in Milledgeville said my late friend Matt Flurry. It is. So pretty with the overlapping trees and just how the road is divided..I decided to not turn down it and just go on up another block.
Im walking, Mowgli is peeing- you know how it goes. And then, I see a really nicely dressed guy walking from the school in my direction- and I'm thinking- why is is professor so dressed up? Anyway as I am getting to make my right turn, this guy says Hey Rachel! And I didnt recognize him, but as he got closer and I heard his voice more, I realized it was a college friend of mine named Jared. He was in town for a Career Fair at the School and doing some recruiting. We made small talk about how I was sorry I couldnt talk to him when he called last month because I was at a conference and then he said I saw about your dog, I am really sorry to hear about that. And I proceeded to tell him yeah, it was really hard, considering it happened right after my boyfriend broke up with me. Jared was so compassionate and said I will be praying for things to get better for you. We talked about some other stuff and then I asked how he was. He got sort or downtrodden and said "I dont know if you knew this or not, but my father passed away in (October I believe)."
At that moment, God gave me a big punch in the stomach. I could hear him saying "See my child, if the worst things for you right now are a breakup and your dog dying, you have it pretty good compared to some other people". Ouch. ohh. Throughout this whole process God has been trying to tell me, someone has things so much more worse than you, so shut up complaining. I have complained a lot, and cried a lot, but complained more. My sweet friend was still coming to grips that his deddy (he says it too!) was not here anymore and my heart just wanted to go out to him.
I talked with Jared for probbaly 10 more minutes about our "plans" and how they always fail if God isnt in them. We talked about being real with God and not being angry, but just being real with God and pouring out our hearts to him and just asking him questions. Read Psalms. My coworker told me one day that all throughout the Psalms people start the passage with "oh woe is me, why are you doing this to me God, I hate my life" kind of beginnings, but by the end, their attitude has changed when they realize God is still God and still in control, even when the world is passing you by or failing you. It is OK to be real with God. It is ok to tell him how miserable you are. It is OK to cry.
What I am learning, through the Word, my true friends who genuienly care about my well being, and my own search for peace with my communion with God, is that it is NOT ok to dwell in this misery, in the bad things of our situations. Dwell: sit or stay or tarry there. You think about it more. It consumes you if you dwell in something (good or bad). Dwell is such an old fashioned word but such a relavent piece of advice. Dwell. it's a fun word to say, like Fransisco! ;0 Dwell, really think about it.
If I want to be happy, or just enjoy what I am given, I must choose to dwell in the place of happiness. Dwell in the arms of Christ that were stretched out on a cross to cover me and my ugly shameful sins. Dwell in the riches that God has promised me- an heir to the throne of a kingdom. Dwell in the peace that passes all understanding (And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7)
What are you dwelling in friends? When I think of dwell I get the image of a pig who likes to wallow in the mud. They cover themselves with it. Then when it gets dry- the run right back to it and roll around in it some more. Are you rolling around in self pity? Are you choosing to tarry in the mindset of depression?? Are you dwelling on the past and the things that you cannot control? If I am going to be a dweller, I say to you, Imma dwell in the good mud! Not the mud that smells and ruins everything, but the mud that covers me and surrounds me with comfort and peace. The mud that doesnt dry up. The mud that is lasting and sustaining. Im going to dwell in the Lord.
I know that God ordained my sidewalk appointment with Jared yesterday. I know that God puts those little blessings in our lives to remind us that he still cares, he is still there. God hears, every little whimper. Thank God for the Divine Appointments you are sometimes surprised with- and dwell in the Lord.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Bucket List
It is perfectly fine for me to say I have had a rough past 2 months. Rough might not even begin to explain it. Miserable would be a good word. BUT, I decided the other day that I need to quit thinking about all of the negative things and actually work to making positive memories. (My friend told me JUST last night- in response to how does your heart heal after your boyfriend dumps you and your dog dies- "Time..but you cant dwell in the past. And if you do, why dwell on the sad negative things. think of the good things". So profound. So risky. So true. I want to live in the present and not dwell on the past. So, thank you friend who sent me that text. I have it locked for future reference when I have a pity party again.I made a Spring Bucket list the other day. Sounds lame, but it is more of working towards goals for me. I got out some clothes pins, a small pail from the flowers my mom sent me on Valentines day, and some cardstock and tape. I made a list in my planner and then transferred each item to the pin. My Graduate Assistant will tell you if I don't write things down, it doesn't happen. Seriously- how did I get voted Most Dependable in High School??? I have no idea. Because if I dont physically write down things- they don't happen or don't exist.
So- I wrote down the things I want to accomplish between March and May. Some of them are really awesome- and some of them may seem incredibly petty to an outside viewer, but I want to do them.
A few of the things are: Hike/visit all of the state parks in GA (there are 7 to visit in this time frame); Sew something from a pattern; Write a song worth singing (I have so much in mind for this); Paint a picture worthy of hanging (Because I cant stand painting something and then it not being cool after a few months); Go to a Braves Spring game; Go camping- with a tent (I have only done this once in my life and I really just want to do it again). I think there are about 25ish bucket list things. I have a lot of work to do. But I have to get myself out of this self pity party that I have been having. I want to make some new memories and learn to love life again.
I hope that in reading this you will think of all the things you would like to accomplish in yoru life and make a bucket list. I started short term, Right now I don't have a MAJOR bucket list of things to do before I die, but there are these things that would add to the satisfaction of my present state. Live in the present; dont dwell on the past.
I have always said "Your past is in the past for a reason, you can't change it, but you can prevent your future". Whether you make a "bucket" list or set out to change your life, I know that good memories are much more becomming than negative ones that way you down. You grow from positivity. Negativity kills. Your choice.
The life I Live
I wanted to blog the other night, but I was too lazy to turn on my laptop and my phone wouldn't let me sign in. So, I'm back today. When people ask how my weekend is, I sometimes want to cry because I am so lame and don't do anything! This past Friday I did get to see a lot of my family for a surprise birthday party. It really does my heart good to see my cousins that are close to my age. They are all so sweet. My dad and I ventured to Milner and had a good time singing in the car. Thanks for raising me on classic rock Deddy!
No Blondes in this family!
Saturday, I braved the elements and took Mowgli on a walk. Hike. Same difference. We walked from our apt to the Greenway. Do you know how far that is? It is pretty far. Im not ever going to the greenway alone again. I felt like someone was going to jump out of the wodds and attack me the entire time. Mowgli was just as paranoid looking around every few steps. Came home and CLEANED the entire townhouse, then went and did makeup for a sweet girl from my church for her 1st Battallion Ball. Fun times with the girls. The finished Rebekah! I must say I do good work! 
No Blondes in this family!
Saturday, I braved the elements and took Mowgli on a walk. Hike. Same difference. We walked from our apt to the Greenway. Do you know how far that is? It is pretty far. Im not ever going to the greenway alone again. I felt like someone was going to jump out of the wodds and attack me the entire time. Mowgli was just as paranoid looking around every few steps. Came home and CLEANED the entire townhouse, then went and did makeup for a sweet girl from my church for her 1st Battallion Ball. Fun times with the girls. The finished Rebekah! I must say I do good work! 
Janna has been an ever present friend in my time of need.
Then Sunday- church, visit with my parents, then home to watch "He's just not that into you". Perspective is all I can say. Everything in that movie is so dead on. Makes me really think about things after this breakup. Why try so desperately to make things happen that we want, when in turn, we just need to give up. Because- as a wise friend of mine once told me in college "Whatever "it" is, is going to happen, regardless of if you try and speed it up or slow it down. God is in control, its so hard to remember that sometimes.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Time..So Much Changes Over Time
Wow. My life is so completely different than it was in May of 2011. So much has changed. I missed blogging. I missed these memories I wanted to keep in written form. I want to do better at that. I want to set a goal to blog at least 3 times a week. Nothing fancy, but a recap. Right now, I'm learning the hard way that life doesn't go at all as we as mortals plan. But, thankfully I serve God, and even though his way hurts sometimes, his way is better than mine. I just have a hard time admitting or wanting that. I read a verse the other day and I want to share it with you. Right now, "you" is empty space, because I know no one reads this. But I will humor myself. "Overhearing what they said, Jesus said 'Don't be afraid, just believe.' Mark 5:36" I am not sure of what you are going through right now- but I can tell you this word speaks comfort. Whether is is monsters under your child's bed, a relationship that ended out of no where, the passing of your beloved pet, uncertainty about the future, or just plain old not having anything to hold on to and feeling alone, Jesus himself said for us to not be afraid. I personally have had ALL of those things happen to me (minus the kid part) in the last month. My perspective on life has truly changed.
If Christ himself said for me to not be afraid, man, that speaks volumes to my lonely heart. Just believe. That is Macy's motto for Christmas "Believe"- and they put that on a huge strung up sign ont he side of the building in New York. Now, their belief is in the magic of Christmas. Thank God I believe in the miracle of Christ. But you see how powerful that belief is??? The things we hold true are the things that will in turn be evident in our lives.
Believe it will happen. Believe God is Sovereign and he does want good things for his children. I heard it said on the radio right after my break up that "you are either going in a storm, inside of a storm, or coming out of one and this is to be expected as Christians". This is so true. God is always refining and sharpening us, maybe even taking away some of the "comforts" of this earth to make us more like him. Does it hurt? Most assuredly. Does it make us feel vulnerable and uneasy? Of course. Is it worth it? To be more Christ-like is always worth it- whether we enjoy the trials or not. I say this, and right now I am in one of the lowest times of my life, but I know that God is faithful- and will never leave me. Even in the midst of my wanderings, God is still there and still in control, regardless of what I try to do to speed up my life or slow it down, God's will is ultimately going to be the one that makes a difference in my life. Not me.
It has been a remarkably hard past 2 months. My heart was broken in places I didnt know it could be broken. I have cried more in the past 2 months than I have in my entire life- i could fill an ocean with my tears. God is working on me, and friend, it hurts, but I have to hold confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it. (Phil 1:6)
I want to share my thoughts even if for my own benefit of release. I hope you find this journey fun, because I know I have to be Bound For More that what my present state is.
If Christ himself said for me to not be afraid, man, that speaks volumes to my lonely heart. Just believe. That is Macy's motto for Christmas "Believe"- and they put that on a huge strung up sign ont he side of the building in New York. Now, their belief is in the magic of Christmas. Thank God I believe in the miracle of Christ. But you see how powerful that belief is??? The things we hold true are the things that will in turn be evident in our lives.
Believe it will happen. Believe God is Sovereign and he does want good things for his children. I heard it said on the radio right after my break up that "you are either going in a storm, inside of a storm, or coming out of one and this is to be expected as Christians". This is so true. God is always refining and sharpening us, maybe even taking away some of the "comforts" of this earth to make us more like him. Does it hurt? Most assuredly. Does it make us feel vulnerable and uneasy? Of course. Is it worth it? To be more Christ-like is always worth it- whether we enjoy the trials or not. I say this, and right now I am in one of the lowest times of my life, but I know that God is faithful- and will never leave me. Even in the midst of my wanderings, God is still there and still in control, regardless of what I try to do to speed up my life or slow it down, God's will is ultimately going to be the one that makes a difference in my life. Not me.
It has been a remarkably hard past 2 months. My heart was broken in places I didnt know it could be broken. I have cried more in the past 2 months than I have in my entire life- i could fill an ocean with my tears. God is working on me, and friend, it hurts, but I have to hold confident that He who began a good work in me will complete it. (Phil 1:6)
I want to share my thoughts even if for my own benefit of release. I hope you find this journey fun, because I know I have to be Bound For More that what my present state is.
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