Be The Comeback

In the middle of my vacation I got a text that said "Stop what you are doing...NSYNC is getting back together for the VMAs Sunday".

Can I just tell you that the 15 year old girl in me CAME BACK ALIVE and it took everything I had not to scream out (we were driving)?!

SHUT. THE. FRONT. DOOR. OMG!! OMG!!!- that wasnt even around when they were cool.

Now I am hearing reports that it not going to happen- that all of the members- minus JC- have flown out to see Justin accept his lifetime achievement award and it isn't because we will be seeing them perform together again.

Stop. The. Bus. For real? You are going to play with MILLIONS of girl's hearts like that and tease us for the real comeback we have been waiting 11 years for?

I don't know about you- but I know this would mean more than anything to the 25-35 year old ladies right now. If I could say something to N*SYNC (notice that star is for the true fans)- it would be this:

Every boy band of your time has gotten back together- and not only reignited thousands of WOMEN'S- not girls- Women's hearts and passion for fun pop music- they have recruited THOUSANDS more fans. They have made summer concerts fun again- and made mega bucks in the process.

Boyz II Men. 98 Degrees. Backstreet Boys. Heck- even New Kids on the Block- from way back when of my 90ties childhood. They all came back- and came back swinging.

Dont you think its time? It is time to show ol Biebster how it is really done. Time to say- HEY HEY- then you can leave again.

If you think you are some washed up- has been boy band- think again. Girls, women in their late twenties, STILL make references about you. We play it our weddings- we jam out on our workout playlists- and we still know every dance move to Tearin Up My Heart and Bye Bye Bye. Let me even say you were so cool that guys our age still know the lyrics and dance moves. And still do. Ask my husband.

I am pretty sure that isnt the case with pop music now.

Let me give you some insight as to how obsessed my generation was with you- and keep in mind that YOU were BEFORE Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, blogs, and ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. You had millions of fans follow you- honey I even memorized a limo tag number that was in your first VHS. Did you hear that? WE HAD TAPES OF YOU. DVDs werent event around!

We wore baby blue to all of your concerts- I had TEEN BEAT posters of you on my closet, my ceiling, my locker, my notebooks- oh I even had the N*SYNC pen set. We knew (and probably still do) know your birthdays, your interests, and your hometowns.

Eat eat eat- all day long- eat eat eat while I sing this song- COME ON- you know only die-hards know where that came from!

I can assure you that I wasnt the only girl who waited next to tour busses just for a glimpse of you. We rewound (is that even a word?) the VHS Madison Square Garden of Lance LICKING the floor on Digital Get Down and laughed so hard we cried when the girl falls out of her chair when Justin is singing This I Promise you to her.

We were so shocked when you flew over the crowd for your first tour to Sailing. Come on- no one even remakes classics anymore!

To say we were obsessed is an understatement. We lived for the moments when you were on TRL or any tv or radio show. I even have a cd of just interviews with yall.

And it aint Christmas til we break out the N*SYNC Christmas cd. Seriously- and it plays until midnight December 31st.

The VMAs were the highlight of the end of summer- because we knew we would get to see you perform one last time before school started. 9/9/99- do you even remember that? When you danced on the desks? We do.

You were marionettes. You were locked in padded rooms and straight jackets. You wore cowl neck sweaters in a forest with bubbles. You started hair trends that will never be forgotten. You all have a tattoo in flames of NSYNC.

Come. ON. We want you back. Make the decision tomorrow- because its Friday night. You are Tearing up our hearts keeping us waiting. All the music today really is Dirty Pop. Giddy Up. Lets do this. This I Promise you- your fans never said Bye Bye Bye- and never will. You are the Music of our Hearts and forever we want to be your Girlfriend.

You were awesome- and you have the chance to be that now. Don't disappoint us again- and force us to go through the emotion of being let down to an all time low.

If you would listen

I would say these things:

- Just because "everyone else is doing it or accepting of it" doesn't mean you have to follow suit.
- Teenage love is a very fragile and strange thing. Don't get so caught up in that boy that you miss out on high school.
- Real love is possible- but it happens when God wants it to happen to you. Stop trying to rush it.
- Don't start rumors. Derail that gossip train or jump off of it. Nobody likes to be talked about.
- So many things are going to change from the time you graduate high school til the time you are 25. Pace yourself- do a lot of fun things- and make memories- not regrets.
- Don't live in the "shoulda, coulda, woulda"- live in the I came. I saw. I conquered.
- Be the friend you would like others to be to you.
- Be honest. Talk open. Listen sometimes. And just because you have an opinion, doesnt mean you have to share it all the time. 
- Go out of your way to do something for someone that you don't like. Show them how to love, even if it hurts your pride.
- Give your best- do more than try. 
- Find positive things in life that make you happy- and dedicate time weekly to do them.
- Spend time in the Word. Learn it, recite it, memorize it, hold it dear to your heart. 
- Don't set the example- be it. 
- Learn to let go of things that are not bringing you closer to Christ. Know that everything comes in seasons.
- Sometimes, it is ok to rock the boat. Capsize it even. But be tasteful about it. 
- Be willing to forgive. Holding on to anger only rots YOU from the core. Allow God to provide the healing.
- Stand up for what you believe in, and if you are proven wrong, learn from that experience.
- Money does solve problems as well as create them. It can buy things to make you happy, but also those things will soon make you miserable. 
- Focus on Christ and center your life around him- and everything else will fall in to place. ( Matthew 6:33)

These are the things I would say to me. 

The way it stands

School is starting back this week in our town. Madness is brewing. 
This year- I find myself starting back as well. Georgia Southern here I come! 

I am so excited to be an Eagle- even if it is just online classes right now. I do want to attempt to get a PhD- but right now I will focus on these prerequisites I have to take before starting that program. I am honestly nervous about starting school again. I haven't done this in 4 years! Ahhhhh! Hopefully my transition will be smooth. I do know that one of my dreams is coming true- to go to a school with football. Thanks God! Also- big shout out to K. Pope for pushing me to Ga Southern. I am sure I wouldn't have even considered it had he not mentioned it. 

If regular school is starting- that must mean COLLEGE is starting shortly after. Fall is an exciting time of year for me. I present so many presentations and meet with so many students- I look forward to the newness- the lack of information they have been given- and the excitement they bring to campus.

I am hoping 2013 turns out to be the best college year yet at good ol' GC. I have made lots of plans- signed lots of contracts- and changed the format in a lot of my presentations. Let's hope that planning pays off. 

On another note:
Sometimes I tell Kevin it is really weird to be married. (not that I miss the single life- at all), but it just seems really strange to be able to call his former home my home now as well. Sometimes I don't feel like it is "my" home- because I haven't decorated very much, or there isn't much of "me" in the house. The guest bathroom has been painted sea foam green, so that makes me feel a little better- and there is one canvas picture of us on the wall- but still I find that it is missing elements to make me feel like I live there too. 

Kevin had already picked the paint colors long before I came along- and all of the furniture- minus our bedroom and living room. I do miss that aspect of house hunting when I was single- and dreaming up big plans in my head of how I wanted it to look. I am very blessed to have a man who already had a house, I am grateful for that. And it is a craftsman style house- which I wanted. It is just hard for me to wrap my mind around that I live there too. Sometimes I just feel like my stuff is just "there". 

I am trying to "put a girl in it"- but I find myself struggling to do this. Kevin says we can do whatever I want- so I have decided that paint makes everything look better. Upcoming projects: The master bath (because powder blue isn't that great love) and the laundry room (because I want to be joyful when I have to be in there, and macadamia nut just doesn't do it for me) and staining of the kitchen cabinets. And bath cabinets. 

I am hoping these changes make it "my" home as well. Our home is quite empty when it comes to decorations and pictures. My goal for the rest of the year is to bring in lots of color and accents- and frame up some dang pictures of us- since we have 4 total in the house.

I just want our house to feel like home. It will get there, in due time. 

Things we are afraid of

Our Sunday school lesson this week talked about our fears. We had to go through a list of phobias and match them up with their phobia word.

I am not really scared of crowds, more so the people in the crowds.

I am not scared of the dentist- I actually like going- except when my teeth are sensitive.

I am not afraid of puppets- but creepy costumes and haunted houses freak me out.

I can deal with storms, I just dont like them.

I am not afraid of food, I just refuse to eat, touch, and smell certain ones. Mushrooms, olives, hotdogs, sausage in certain forms, coffee, tea, coke.

I am not afraid of being alone or by myself- sometimes I appreciate that time. I do worry about one day not being married to Kevin because of whatever- but I try not to dwell on it.

I wasnt really afraid of the things on this 10 item list, but I had to sit back and think of what I really am afraid of.

Someone hurting me or my family. That is a big one. I had my headphones in at the grocery store last night (to be alone) and Kevin said that wasn't safe because someone could attack me from behind and I wouldn't hear them. Clearly I wasn't too afraid of that last night- but now I am.
Even someone being mean to my parents doesnt sit well with me. Because my dad is older and doesnt understand this new technology way of life and my mom works in retail with mean customers.

Failure. One of my biggest. At being a noteworthy wife. School with Georgia Southern. My job. Working with the youth. Crafting. One day being a mom who has kids that turn out awful. I try not to spend much time here, but I think about failing.

I dont work so well with bugs. They creep me out and make my skin crawl just talking about them.

Scary movies and I don't mix. Yikes- I really dont like them at all and nightmares and lack of sleep are not something I enjoy. Keep them and the scary people in them away from me.

Some girl ruining my marriage. (I try to avoid thinking that my husband would be the cause of ruining it, because I dont want to think of him like that). Why do people think it is ok to mess up someone else's marriage because they aren't happy in theirs- or they want something that belongs to someone else (if they arent married)? This is probably #1 and I don't know it. Too many of my friend's and people I know through other friend's marriages have fallen apart because of this. It scares me everyday to think that my innocent sweet and top of the world marriage could fall apart because some girl whisks her way in between me and my husband. AHH. It makes me terrified and angry at the same time.

My husbands job brings a lot of sheer terror to my heart, but I choose not to dwell there. Because if I did, he would never be able to leave the house. I know he is in good hands and he is very talented and discerning in his job. I just consider it work like normal and look forward to seeing him come home every day or night.

Jesus says to not be afraid 21 times in the New Testament. That seems like a lot to me. I am going to hold true to his word- that perfect love casts out fear. He is the clear and precise definition of perfect love. I will hold on to Him and his words to not fear or be not afraid. So this week I encourage you to block out your fears and hold on to Christ.

People sometimes

I don't understand people sometimes. How the words that they choose roll out of their mouths so carelessly and to them are perfectly fine- but to me- are so wrong. What happened to think before you speak? Clearly we have lost touch with this virtue.

Just because you the sayer aren't offended by it, doesn't mean the hearer won't be.

Such as people's over-reaction to telling us when to have kids. I'm 100% sure that Kevin and I will be the ones paying for them- so I am really confused as to why some people have to be blatantly rude about telling us about when we should have kids.

I do respect the advice we have been given about enjoying our marriage- and we are. I just don't appreciate people telling me when we should or what we should do before.

Every situation is different. Outsiders don't know our entire family dynamics as to why or when we want to try to have kids. Personally- it should be of no concern to anyone buy my husband and myself.

"You are going to miss out on so much". Let me preface this with- both of us have college degrees, are advanced professionals, and and in careers not jobs. We are starting out much higher than most of the people getting married our age. We do have a lot going for us by ways of God's blessings. And we are very grateful. If you have never read this before, you might not know our story. But our story is so different than anyone else's. We waited a long time to find each other and we moved quick.

I guess I have just been frustrated by the CONSTANT reminder I have been given by people- to wait to have kids. I feel like it is only our business, not the world's.

When we feel the time is right, we will try. Regardless of who tells us to wait or do whatever.

A month of Sundays

Married life update: Team Pope is still doing well and learning boundaries of each other- and not to overstep or crash down someone else's personal space bubble. 

The things Pinterest doesn't teach you:

1. Changing your name legally is a fairly tedious process- it does tell you that -what it doesnt tell you is how many freaking places your name is!!! Geeze I never thought about EVERY place my name could be- but let me tell you it is a widespread arena of various destinations.

2. Laundry multiplies by 5 when you get married. I dont mind "doing" I mind folding. GRRR. The gnashing of teeth that insists when we have to do this! Neither of us like to do it- but we agree to do it together. That helps. 

3. Getting back to the gym AFTER the wedding is REALLY HARD. I have  had lost all motivation- until my husband made a comment about my backside- and my coworker asked if I was wearing tights. Nope these are my work pants. Awesome. Not cool. So- I have made it a few early times this week- motivation is slowly coming back.

4. It is a huge blessing to come home to dinner cooked. Kevin has been chef a couple of times this week since I was at VBS- and it has been SO nice to come home and not have to do anything. It made me realize how precious of an opportunity I have to provide for my husband when he comes home after his crazy schedule. 

5. Finding time to just talk is few and far between when you marry someone in law enforcement. Someone is either sleeping or at work when the other one is gone or when you are home you just need time to decompress and deal with your own things. We have tried to make special date nights away from friends and family so we can just see each other as opposed to in passing. It is fun being married to a Trooper though. Hearing all these stories of the CRAZY people on the highways makes for good conversation. And hearing how many idiots and threats to society my husband got off of the road makes me a proud wife. 

6. Baby fever hits early on- but after hanging out with friend's kids for more than 3 hours- you realize- mmm- I like my freedom and independence I have now. It is nice to go on trips with your spouse and just have to worry about you two. Super nice to go where ever and when ever- just because. In due time. In due time we will be ready- but not now. 

7. There are a lot of gross happenings that occur when and man and woman are married. It is hard to accept- and still love them. Sometimes it is quite comical- other times it literally makes my stomach churn and I get a little sick. Both of us have had to learn to deal with these things. Yuck with a smile. 

8. People expect more out of you now that you are married. More grown up decisions, more commitments, and more opportunities to be voluntold what to do. Sometimes it benefits you to say no and keep your marriage between you and your spouse. 

9. Married life is easy when you realize you are not number 1 anymore. Putting your spouse 1st does not come easy- but it does with practice. Praying for them. Loving them. Doing things for them- and most importantly- saying you are sorry first. Although my way of saying sorry the other night was by ambush and pegging my husband in the head and chest with nerf gun bullets after he tried to come and talk-he got the point. It is super hard to admit you were wrong, but super easy when you realize how much you love your other half and they deserve to be respected too. Dont go to bed mad- it doesnt make for a good morning the next day. I have had to learn that. Give them their space and allow them time to calm down. They will come if you wait. 

10. When you allow your spouse to do the things they love and enjoy- it makes them love you more. Even if it means you don't like doing their hobbies or activities. Kevin likes to do a lot of things that scare me or I think are boring- or are more like work than "hangout" time, but I suck it up and do them with him- or encourage him to do them. You can rest assured my husband has never told me to not go shopping or not spend money on something I wanted to do when I have encouraged him to go play poker or go to wing night- or watched one of his shows with him. There are a lot of things KP does that I could really care less about- but he loves it- and I will encourage my husband all the more to do the things he loves. And he does the same for me. 

Love them like Jesus does

I haven't blogged in a really long time. I had to take a break from social media and regroup- because honestly- some people are just overwhelming and ridiculous.

I am sure I will make a lot of mini posts more than longer ones- because I have a lot rolling around in my head and heart that I need to get out. I guess I could use a journal- but some of it is more relevant for others to hear than for me to just keep it to myself.

My heart broke last night at VBS. The teacher asked the kids if they could share a really sad time in their life and the first kid to raise his hand said "My dad died in the Coast Guard". If that doesnt break your heart- then you are in need of some help.

I had tears well up in my eyes and I know a few of the other ladies did as well. Man I complain so much- and this kid- just broke me down.

I have been SO SICK OF PEOPLE lately. From the pointless and stupid posts- to the teenage love soap operas- and the freaking pictures in the gym- I just was ready to nut up on someone. I took a couple days of break- and it was so nice not to hear about things I could care less about. 

Our culture is now defined by the amount of pictures you can take and amount of hashtags you can use. (I have these accounts too- so I hear myself talking). People- WAKE UP. We are missing out. 

I dont dang care how many times a week you go to the gym- nor do I want to see pictures of that while you are at the gym. Just work out- geeze. We are missing so many opportunities. I'm sure people don't want to see pictures of my dogs either- so I see both sides. The point I am making is we are not using our time wisely.

I have been reminded the past few days how precious time with the Lord is- and how unimportant our selfish desires really are. Kevin and I read the Bible the other night together and it was such a blessing to just sit and listen to hear him read it and us talk about it. 

God has been trying to teach me the art of learning to keep my mouth shut. And I have- for the most part. I have stayed away from people- I have hidden people on my feeds- I have not given my opinion even when it burned inside of me to correct people's ignorance- but the one thing I have yet to do- is pray about it as much as I get mad about it. God has also been trying to teach me to love others like he does. 

My husband gave me a firm reminder last night about "making fun" of people. I thought I was just stating a "fact" and he said different. 

It is so hard to love people. I have written about that before- but God needs to apparently teach me again because I didnt get it the first time. People frustrate us- let us down- lie to us- overwhelm and neglect us. But the one thing we can do is love them like Jesus did. Just love them- even if you can't bring yourself to like them. Pray for them- pray for blessings for them. Be real- and nice to them- even when it hurts you or your pride.  

Funny- one of our VBS verses this week is "Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing". (1 Thess 5:11)- God help me to set out to be "doing".