817. 28. 2012-2013. 143652.

Let's play the number game ok? The above numbers represent a whole lot for this chick.

I decided to look up every verse with 8:17. Some of these did not fit too well for me-  venomous snakes that bite, some lineage, towers falling, bull intestines, and firstborn struck down..but I did find a few that have the potential to be really good verses for me this year.

Proverbs 8:17 "I love those who love me and those who seek me find me"- So this year- I will be more diligent in seeking out God and what he wants for me. Learning to LOVE God more- and move me out of the picture.

Ecclesiastes 8:17  then I saw all that God has done. No one can comprehend what goes on under the sun. Despite all their efforts to search it out, no one can discover its meaning. Even if the wise claim they know, they cannot really comprehend it.- Focus on giving God the glory, not the reasons behind it, just on the fact that he is in control. Understand that God is God and I am not. I don't need all the answers. I just need God.

Isaiah 8:17 I will wait for the Lord, who is hiding his face from the descendants of Jacob.

I will put my trust in him.- Trusting and waiting- 2 things I struggle with. Put my trust in the Lord this year- and not that of man. Believing that he really does have my best interest at heart.

Zechariah 8:17 do not plot evil against each other, and do not love to swear falsely. I hate all this,” declares the Lord.- Ohh. Love others for where they are- and encourage  instead of tear them down. Wish nothing but the best for others in this life. No bad thoughts, no injuiries, no paybacks, no karma. No lying, not even little white ones. Gulp.

Matthew 8:17 This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:“He took up our infirmities and bore our diseases.- So much more praise is in order for the man who bore all of this to save me.

Mark 8:17  Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: “Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened?- Is my heart hardened? Do I fully have faith in God- or only when things are good?

Luke 8:17 For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.- Live a life that is blameless, turn from my sins and remind myself that even when I think no one sees, God knows- and knows the reasons why I do this. Do I want these things brought out in the open? If not, then I need to let Jesus clean it up.

Acts 8:17  Then Peter and John placed their hands on them, and they received the Holy Spirit.- Can I life a life that the Holy Spirit works through me like this? I want to.

Romans 8:17 "Now if we are children, then we are heirs —heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory".- Wait, is this really in there? Share in his sufferings. I am not sure what is ahead of me, but if for the cross I must take a stand, then I do so and trust God is going to remain at work even when it hurts. 

2 Corinthians 8:17 For Titus not only welcomed our appeal, but he is coming to you with much enthusiasm and on his own initiative.- Does my attitude bring people down or make them happier? Enthusiam is something I lack and need more of. I want to be a contagious person who lights up a room, not because of anything of me- but because of the light that Christ is shining through me. The right attitude changes everything.

So there it is. The 10 verses for the year 2012-2012 as I am 28.

Frustrations in Part

Wow, it has been an incredibly long time since I put my 2 cents in on here. I can honestly say it has been for one of two reasons: I am incredibly lazy and have been enjoying some sweet time with my boyfriend, family, and friends.

So here I sit. At my desk on my lunch time. Pondering the vast complexities of life and wondering where I fit in the grand scheme of things, if I even fit at all.

My 28th birthday just passed. What? Did that really just come out of my mouth? Let me give you a fair warning: once you turn 25- it is all REALLY fast moving and gone after that birthday. I had one of the best birthdays ever- this side of my twenties (because a couple of my younger bdays were pretty awesome at McDonalds and Hardees. Oh- and a surprise pizza one for like my 10th). Ha- but really- I set out to have the week designated for me- and had a lot of help from that guy who has my heart. From lots of gifts, dinners, and even a trip to the beach for 4 days- this one will go down in the books as awesome. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about who I use to be- where I have came from- and where I am now. Not so much as to where I am going, because if you know me- I sometimes have this bad fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants attitude, and I just can't plan that far in advance- because life changes so much. 

These are are few things I have learned in my 28 years. 

Learn only to take advice that is scriptural. If it doesn't come from the Bible (or from people who regularly read the Bible) or point you to the Bible, it isn't going to hold much water or change your life that much. (Proverbs 12:5 The plans of the righteous are just, but the advice of the wicked is deceitful).

Time changes everything. It will change you, even if you think you can avoid it. Not just the physical attributes, but also the network of who you really are on the inside. Your opinions and ideals soon scratch more than the surface. There are appointed times for a variety of emotions, feelings, disasters, happiness, comfort, letdowns and disappointments, and renewedness in your life. Accept them and learn from each one. (Ecclesiastes 3)

Life here on this earth is very temporary- even if you can't see past your twenties into the horrible abyss called your 30s. I would like to say live it up- but instead I say invest in things that matter. Because when push comes to shove- it isnt about all the things you have done and seen- it is about the people you got to do and see those things with. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18) Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


  The times when you are most desperate, most lonely, most confused, and most hopeless are the times that God will move the most in your life. These are also the times when you should go seek for him most. God moves the most in our deserts, there ain't much need for change in the oasis. Remind yourself of this when you get comfortable- always be on the hunt for more of Jesus and less of you. (Psalm 63:1-3 You, God, are my God,

earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you,in a dry and parched land where there is no water.; Proverbs 14:32 When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down, but even in death the righteous seek refuge in God.; John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world; 1 John 4:4 You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.")



What people hear about you is what they will believe about you. That whole he said she said yo momma said..story gets twisted and people believe what others tell them- not what they see. So, live your life so that when they run their mouth about you, nothing but goodness can come of it. (Titus 2:8 "and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us").   Those are some simple, but true facts that have taken me 28 years to fully learn, understand, and put into practice. I hope you look over your life today- whether you are 18, 28, 48, 68, or 88 and realize the need to make the most out of what you have been entrusted with on this earth.

diary-esque

If I could say one thing to you- oh, from the depths of my heart it would be Thank you. You will never know how grateful I truly am. It was the best decision you could have EVER MADE. Ever ever ever- man- genius move. A few months ago- someone told me "you will look back and know why THIS didn't work out and why something else did".
That same person told me that I would be thankful that this happened, because you. weren't. it. They couldn't have been more right.

If I could say one thing to you- mmm- I think it would be the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Your precious presentation of "how you are" doesnt match up with your actions. But the crazy thing is- I don't even want to say one thing to you.


One thing to you- the rains will come. Heavy and constant. You will be drenched and sometimes soaked to the core. Cold wet and lonely are things you might experience. Know this though: in order for things to GROW, somebody has to give it some water. Your life is like a desert in your times of need, hurt, and exploration. If you never get water in a desert- you die. BUT, if you get water- you live. Know that in order to grow as a person, you will have to get wet to sink your roots down and pull help from the depths of things you never knew existed in you. Sometimes, those rains of hard times and trials seem like they will never end- and maybe for you it will be a hurricane or a monsoon- taking away everything you cherish or leaving you with nothing but a basket of crushed emotions. Growth comes in the times after the watering dear friend. These are the times when you find out who you really are and what you are really made of.

One thing to you: Dr. Suess said "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". If you really are the words that you describe yourself with, start living up to it. It should be evident and I wouldnt question it. And if your true character is being ^%*^&, then I hope you make some changes to be something different.  Stop pretending to be something you aren't ever going to be. Why do you want to be someone else anyway? You aren't a clone. You are an individual with the Creator's fingerprints all over you being. Just because all your friends "do it" doesnt really require you to do it. Stand out in a crowd, not sit down where no one can see you. Don't follow the "cool" things, set your own course and make life your own.

One last thing: People are put in your life for seasons. Just as the seasons change faithfully every year- so too will your group of friends. Things change for a reason- and we might never understand why, but value those people for the times you get have them in your life and be thankful for them. Many will come and many will go, select few will make it through more than a couple of seasons with you. So invest fully and wholeheartedly in your season changers, because they are doing the same for you.

Life as of Late

A simple Tuesday post. I promise to keep it short. Well, maybe a little long but not nearly as long as they normally are!

It is crazy to think how fast time flies and how quick changes come. To sit back and look at my shamble of a life 8ish months ago really perplexes me. God has brought me so far. I coined a phrase today- that didnt come out like I wanted it to- but it stuck- so now, I will share it with you. "Sometimes you have to go through the crap to get to the cupcake". Thank goodness I didnt say eat a lot of crap... but if you really break it down- sometimes you might have to eat your words- or better yet be left with only those words that you left to ring in someone's ear and prick at their heart when they think of you. And sometimes- you have to wallow in a bunch of straight up crap and smell like a pig- to be able to one day close your eyes with the biggest icing lined smile- and say all of that was so worth this.

As I was having a weekly talk with one of my very best friends- she reminded me of how far I have come. So. Far. From a helpless wasting away miserable thing just taking up space- to a smiling beaming and happy friend again. The thing that has most changed? My perspective. I see the world through a brand new set of eyes (I really wish I could do this without contacts!).

I want to share some really cool verses with you that I hope touch your heart like they did mine. My other half had some BIG lifechanging interviews the past week and yesterday and I can tell you that they were bathed in prayer-and there were a lot of nerves surrounding them. Yesterday- I truly trusted that God was in control and that if he wanted this for Kevin, then it would happen. The moment I saw Kevin I shared this verse I found: "Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Shouldnt be scared of it. Trusting in the Lord. Only when you truly find yourself saying "Ok- God really does have it" is when you experience true trust.


Later that evening (last night) as we were about to head to dinner, the phone rang and I heard every word. I just want to congratulate you on your Promotion to Corporal...

If you couldve seen the excitement in both of our eyes, you wouldve thought we had just won a free trip or something. When doubt fills our mind- that is when we fail. When we hold fast to the notion that God does want good things for us- and in HIS due time will the come to be- we get to experience blessings.

This is a huge change for Kevin. Something he has prayed long and hard about- since before I came into the picture. This is part of his goals. It is so exciting to share in someone's happiness and experience God's blessings for them. God reminded me of Malachi 3:10- about pouring out so many blessings that they couldnt be contained. Verily Verily unto you today I say- that the storehouse has been opened and blessings are over flowing!

Remember these things: Those desires to succeed are not man made, but Creator made. You will have to work hard- but rest assured that you will be blessed if you trust the Lord. Not yourself. not money. Not wealth, fame, or your last name. Trust God. and he will bring it about-In His's time.

Wait for it....

It doesn't happen often. In fact, it has happened once in the past 6 years- and didn't happen before than since I was in highschool- no wait since sophomore year of college- then highschool. What am I talking about? Family vacation. Sit back and learn what it is like to be the only child (27) and go on vacation with your parents (68 and 54).

Destination: Charleston, SC Duration:2.5 days (trust me- that is enough)

If you have ever rode with my deddy, you know that it is standard protocol to check your pants on the assigned bathroom break to see if you did indeed poop in your pants from his driving antics. The OH CRAP handle gets used more than once, as well as the passenger side brakes (your cars don't have these?). My momma refuses to sit up front because of the wild stunts White Cosby pulls. Either he is an adrenaline junkie or is completely oblivious to oncoming traffic. But, I am more than happy to ride shotgun with White Cos. On the way up we listened to my ipod loaded with lots of classic rock and roll and some rhythm and blues. I made my parents guess who sang the songs. I must say my mom only got 1 wrong. Well, technically, she got it right, but was referring to the band that covered the song, not the original. White Cos knows the words to all these songs, but wasn't as quick to the draw as momma. The trip up wasnt bad at all. Only 1 minor argument before we left Milledgeville, so I dont really count that.

We had dinner at the Crab shack somewhere near our hotel. It was nice to just sit and talk to my parents. I dont get to do that very often when we are home- because 1 of 2 things is happening: both arent in the same place at the same time and- if Mowgli is present- I dont exist. So- we had some long serious talks about my present life and future life. No one got mad and we agreed on a lot of things- mark that down in the history books. 

For the record, let me just say I booked a sweet hotel on expedia. Holiday Inn and Suites in North Charleston- you won't be disappointed. We went back and watched a few hours of the movie story and had solemn conversations. Off to bed with my lime green ear plugs my mom brought for me- since BOTH my parent's snores could wake up the dead. 

Saturday- oh how busy I kept them. We took a bus tour around Charleston and it was really good information- but too quick to snatch a lot of pics. I took some that I will have to post later. After the bus tour, we headed to Ft. Sumter by Ferry. This was an exciting trip for my dad and I- as one of our distant relatives was involved in the first firings of the CIVIL WAR. You get that? The first shots. It was really cool to step back into history and know that my family had ties on this pretty small island and inlet. 

The one thing that all three of us have in common is that we all have a love for history. My mom and I have been on many a house tour and my dad has taken me a lot of places involved with our family (cue West Virginia trip over Thanksgiving break in college). Everyone loves to look at things from different eras and learn how life was back then. It was cool to see my dad get excited about reading some of the stuff on the island. We even found a picture of our distant relative on the wall. Pics posted later. 

Lunch at Sticky Fingers- which is quickly becomming a favorite of mine- then off to the next tour. When you are 27- you can go and go and go. When you are the parents to a 27 year old...your get up and go has left the building. So, after begging to go to this place- we made it there as they were closing. BUT- it was most assuredly the highlight of the trip for me. Middleton Place- America's largest landscapped garden. One thing my dad and I share is a LOVE for a pretty yard. I didnt get the green thumb gene (was blessed with the black thumb, because everything dies when I mess with it)- but my dad mustve gotten the green hand gene because our yard is spectacular in the spring. This place- was just garden after garden of amazing use of space. If I had the nerve to do it- Kevin Pope and I would be getting married here. It is a photographer's DREAM.  We just walked the old plantation and took lots of pics and read lots of information about each space. Beautiful doens't begin to describe it. More pics later.

Wait- I am forgetting the LOVELY time we had with the brand spankin new GPS Garmin Nuvi I gave to my dad for Christmas. Lemme just say: White Cosby didnt quite get the jist of following comands from that thing. We made A LOT OF wrong turns and turnarounds.. insert a few arguments here.

We then headed to waffle house for dinner- so exciting right? At this point we were so tired and hot and GROSS I didnt care about eating. One major argument here and it was a bad one, but I did feel bad about it and apologize. Off to bed then off to the beach Sunday morning.

The beach was a nice relaxing time. Everyone just chilled and kept to themselves because I think we were all still asleep at 9am when we got there. Folly Beach is a nice beach. Go early before all the crowd gets there. Lunch at the crab shack again- this time crab legs and it was a really good lunch. No one talked. Not that that makes it good, but the food was way better this time. Tanger outlets for a few hours- then home.

Oh glorious home. The best part of vacation: leaving to go somewhere. The worst part: the ride home. More so the last hour and a half of the trip. Home so close you can taste it, but so far you are going to die if you dont get out of the car. A few major arguments, I apologized again, and some near crash calls because of the need to pass a slow driver to be faced with a transfer truck coming at you!

This is already longer than I intended- so I will wrap it up. I am glad that my family had the opportunity to spend some much needed time together. More pics posted later.

Late night heavy heart

 I know I said I would post about my family vacation yesterday, but I am lazy and this topic will not let me rest until I get it out of my head and off of my chest and in to written form. 


My facebook status says "In light of recent events and news headlines from today, one thing I can't help but think: You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." This is an ah-mazing song by Jeremy Camp that I find true joy in singing. At the top of my lungs. When I really sit and think about all the evil that has manifested itself in our society and how things have gone really wrong- I find that all I want to do is cling to Jesus. The things of this world will soon pass away- yet what are we left with? I know that I will be left with Christ. A sinless Savior who saw all of this crap from a throne on high- and chose to come down here and get rid of all the wrong in me so that I could experience true life and live for a purpose. The headlines just keep coming with more and more things that makes my heart uneasy. This is not going to be a political post. It isnt my "viewpoint" or things I support that I am afraid of saying - because I know what I believe and why I believe it- and it has nothing to do with a "party". I am not the best at politics because I honestly don't watch enough tv to know what the heck is going on. This post is SO much more than that. I hope the way I write it makes sense. I am not trying to offend you, if you read this and it strikes a cord in your thoughts- then it has served its purpose to engage your thinking past what is presented to you in the media and the world around you.


 My heart breaks for where this country is today. We are so caught up in all the wrong things as a society that we forfeit the things that matter- the ones that really have bearing and lasting impressions- to hold on to things that are not going anywhere. 


There has got to be something more, Sugarland brought that line to us. There honestly has to. Oh I wish our country could have this merky veil lifted from its eyes to see that all of this is not it. All of these things are nothing happy- They bring hurt and anger and a whole slew of other emotions.


I can tell you what it is though: It is Christ. It is Jesus. If you hold to the notion that more of Jesus is the last thing this country needs- oh I am positive that you are more in the wrong that you could ever be in the right. I honestly cant put in to words what I am feeling right now. I have so so much to say- but the words wont form. I stood at my sink in the bathroom for over an hour just thinking about how my heart hurts for the lost and the confused- and the wronged and the broken- and the inconsiderate and evil- and the ones who make it a point to be the center of attention at all the wrong times- and for those who have said hateful words or made it a point to discontinue friendships and ties with people- and for those who just dont know the truth. These are a few of the thoughts that keep playing in my mind:


As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement (KJV) Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgement (NIV) Hebrews 9:27 One life. One death. It really is YOLO- and that is biblical, maybe with a ghetto tweak, but read that verse again and know that this is it. You only get one life.  And then you will face your Creator- whether you believe in him or not- and be judged for the life you have lived. Praise God that he is the judge and we are not- because we don't know the true essence of grace (getting what you dont deserve)


^{1 Kings 8:46-51} “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin —and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; ⁴⁷ and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; ⁴⁸ and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you ... ⁴⁹ then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. ⁵⁰ And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy;⁵¹ for they are your people and your inheritance...


Those verses speak for themselves. We have got to change. We have to repent and plead with God. We have to turn back- turn our eyes from evil things- cast down our idols. And Pray. Seems so simple, but it is evident that our country isnt doing this enough. 


Isaiah 30:18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!


God will bring compassion- and justice- and blessings-if we go seek him. 


Psalm 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. 
You want things to be different in this country and have headlines and news stories that create a sense of community and love and happiness? Then I suggest we get some God up in here. Right now. This nation's god is not God. It is time we changed that. This nation will never be blessed until we do.

Pray all the more gladly

I know some of you are sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for a blog about my recent family vacation. Hold on to your britches, it will be posted after this one. I just felt the need to talk about this first- and I need to get my pictures in order for the other blog.

What would your answer be to the question "Do you pray for people?" Hold on- before you are quick to pull the trigger with a "of course I do, I pray for people all the time"- really think about who you are praying for. In the wake of this movie massacre in Aurora Colorado, I have found myself praying for people a lot differently than I normally pray. My heart goes out to this community and all of the people involved. I tear up every time one of the family members of the deceased speaks on tv. My prayers have been specific- and included someone I wouldn't normally have initially prayed for. The shooter/killer. I have prayed that somehow through all of this- he would be the first to find Jesus. That isnt me folks- trust me. God has brought me so far in the past few years to really learn about who He is and why everyone EVERYone needs Him.

When I try and wrap my mind around why this person would do such an awful thing- I am quickly reminded that everyone, despite the sin, needs forgiveness and needs to know that a Savior loves them more than anything. I dont know his "motive", but I do know that his heart was hardened and his mind was controlled by the enemy. That is why it happened. Satan's lies filled his head and it got to the point where he believed it. Oh my heart hurts for these people in Colorado. To the families burrying their young 20 year olds who were just coming into the peak of their lives to the sweet little 1st grader who was really just starting that innocent time period of her childhood- to the servicemen who volunteered to defend this country's and my individual freedom who never thought their battlefield would be a movie theater and not a foreign country- to the sweet guy who was going to celebrate his 1 year anniversary on Sunday- and to the rest of the lost- my heart is at a loss for words for these families.

I have prayed for these people that God would bring comfort and healing quickly. I have prayed for this strange and delussional killer, that God would have mercy on his soul- and that this guy would find grace and forgiveness.

I searched "thankful" on biblegateway.com this morning, because I have a lot to be thankful for- and sometimes I dont give God the glory for it. My heart is thankful, but my actions dont add up to that. Those secret sins get me everytime. Oh I pray over them- but for some reason- I give in again. This morning the verse I found was very profound. 

 First of all, I ask you to pray for everyone. Ask God to help and bless them all, and tell God how thankful you are for each of them. Pray for kings and others in power, so that we may live quiet and peaceful lives as we worship and honor God. This kind of prayer is good, and it pleases God our Savior. (1 Timothy 2:1-3 CEV)

Oh the sting of conviction. Everyone. Ask God to help & bless them all. (help him?- yes- he does need help but I think it is a little too late. blessings- you are kidding right?) not some of them, not the ones we like- all of them- including people who do wrong to us and others) How thankful you are for them (God I am not thankful for this right now- really?). Pray for kings and others in power (so often I put down our President and others in authority because their agenda doesnt match up with my beliefs- yet here I am commanded to pray for them). This prayer is good- pleases God. (How so it must bless God when we humble ourselves and pray for people that we don't necessarily like or agree with- what a true testament of a firm believer that grace is abounding and the more we share it, the more we are pleasing God).

I hope that when you read those verses you feel the same sting I felt. The conviction that you need to pray for people- and the people who we deem as not human. Pray for people. Really really pray for them- and not just a mention of their name to God- a deep prayer for blessings for them- even when we think they deserve a whole lot less. You and I don't deserve help or blessings- but God sees fit to show us mercy anyway (YET while we were still sinners..). Thankfully- you and I arent in the blessing business- because we would've went under a long time ago.