A simple Tuesday post. I promise to keep it short. Well, maybe a little long but not nearly as long as they normally are!
It is crazy to think how fast time flies and how quick changes come. To sit back and look at my shamble of a life 8ish months ago really perplexes me. God has brought me so far. I coined a phrase today- that didnt come out like I wanted it to- but it stuck- so now, I will share it with you. "Sometimes you have to go through the crap to get to the cupcake". Thank goodness I didnt say eat a lot of crap... but if you really break it down- sometimes you might have to eat your words- or better yet be left with only those words that you left to ring in someone's ear and prick at their heart when they think of you. And sometimes- you have to wallow in a bunch of straight up crap and smell like a pig- to be able to one day close your eyes with the biggest icing lined smile- and say all of that was so worth this.
As I was having a weekly talk with one of my very best friends- she reminded me of how far I have come. So. Far. From a helpless wasting away miserable thing just taking up space- to a smiling beaming and happy friend again. The thing that has most changed? My perspective. I see the world through a brand new set of eyes (I really wish I could do this without contacts!).
I want to share some really cool verses with you that I hope touch your heart like they did mine. My other half had some BIG lifechanging interviews the past week and yesterday and I can tell you that they were bathed in prayer-and there were a lot of nerves surrounding them. Yesterday- I truly trusted that God was in control and that if he wanted this for Kevin, then it would happen. The moment I saw Kevin I shared this verse I found: "Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Shouldnt be scared of it. Trusting in the Lord. Only when you truly find yourself saying "Ok- God really does have it" is when you experience true trust.
Later that evening (last night) as we were about to head to dinner, the phone rang and I heard every word. I just want to congratulate you on your Promotion to Corporal...
If you couldve seen the excitement in both of our eyes, you wouldve thought we had just won a free trip or something. When doubt fills our mind- that is when we fail. When we hold fast to the notion that God does want good things for us- and in HIS due time will the come to be- we get to experience blessings.
This is a huge change for Kevin. Something he has prayed long and hard about- since before I came into the picture. This is part of his goals. It is so exciting to share in someone's happiness and experience God's blessings for them. God reminded me of Malachi 3:10- about pouring out so many blessings that they couldnt be contained. Verily Verily unto you today I say- that the storehouse has been opened and blessings are over flowing!
Remember these things: Those desires to succeed are not man made, but Creator made. You will have to work hard- but rest assured that you will be blessed if you trust the Lord. Not yourself. not money. Not wealth, fame, or your last name. Trust God. and he will bring it about-In His's time.
My real life. Sometimes I say what I feel, sometimes I don't know what to say.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Wait for it....
It doesn't happen often. In fact, it has happened once in the past 6 years- and didn't happen before than since I was in highschool- no wait since sophomore year of college- then highschool. What am I talking about? Family vacation. Sit back and learn what it is like to be the only child (27) and go on vacation with your parents (68 and 54).
Destination: Charleston, SC Duration:2.5 days (trust me- that is enough)
If you have ever rode with my deddy, you know that it is standard protocol to check your pants on the assigned bathroom break to see if you did indeed poop in your pants from his driving antics. The OH CRAP handle gets used more than once, as well as the passenger side brakes (your cars don't have these?). My momma refuses to sit up front because of the wild stunts White Cosby pulls. Either he is an adrenaline junkie or is completely oblivious to oncoming traffic. But, I am more than happy to ride shotgun with White Cos. On the way up we listened to my ipod loaded with lots of classic rock and roll and some rhythm and blues. I made my parents guess who sang the songs. I must say my mom only got 1 wrong. Well, technically, she got it right, but was referring to the band that covered the song, not the original. White Cos knows the words to all these songs, but wasn't as quick to the draw as momma. The trip up wasnt bad at all. Only 1 minor argument before we left Milledgeville, so I dont really count that.
We had dinner at the Crab shack somewhere near our hotel. It was nice to just sit and talk to my parents. I dont get to do that very often when we are home- because 1 of 2 things is happening: both arent in the same place at the same time and- if Mowgli is present- I dont exist. So- we had some long serious talks about my present life and future life. No one got mad and we agreed on a lot of things- mark that down in the history books.
For the record, let me just say I booked a sweet hotel on expedia. Holiday Inn and Suites in North Charleston- you won't be disappointed. We went back and watched a few hours of the movie story and had solemn conversations. Off to bed with my lime green ear plugs my mom brought for me- since BOTH my parent's snores could wake up the dead.
Saturday- oh how busy I kept them. We took a bus tour around Charleston and it was really good information- but too quick to snatch a lot of pics. I took some that I will have to post later. After the bus tour, we headed to Ft. Sumter by Ferry. This was an exciting trip for my dad and I- as one of our distant relatives was involved in the first firings of the CIVIL WAR. You get that? The first shots. It was really cool to step back into history and know that my family had ties on this pretty small island and inlet.
The one thing that all three of us have in common is that we all have a love for history. My mom and I have been on many a house tour and my dad has taken me a lot of places involved with our family (cue West Virginia trip over Thanksgiving break in college). Everyone loves to look at things from different eras and learn how life was back then. It was cool to see my dad get excited about reading some of the stuff on the island. We even found a picture of our distant relative on the wall. Pics posted later.
Wait- I am forgetting the LOVELY time we had with the brand spankin new GPS Garmin Nuvi I gave to my dad for Christmas. Lemme just say: White Cosby didnt quite get the jist of following comands from that thing. We made A LOT OF wrong turns and turnarounds.. insert a few arguments here.
We then headed to waffle house for dinner- so exciting right? At this point we were so tired and hot and GROSS I didnt care about eating. One major argument here and it was a bad one, but I did feel bad about it and apologize. Off to bed then off to the beach Sunday morning.
Oh glorious home. The best part of vacation: leaving to go somewhere. The worst part: the ride home. More so the last hour and a half of the trip. Home so close you can taste it, but so far you are going to die if you dont get out of the car. A few major arguments, I apologized again, and some near crash calls because of the need to pass a slow driver to be faced with a transfer truck coming at you!
This is already longer than I intended- so I will wrap it up. I am glad that my family had the opportunity to spend some much needed time together. More pics posted later.
Late night heavy heart
I know I said I would post about my family vacation yesterday, but I am lazy and this topic will not let me rest until I get it out of my head and off of my chest and in to written form.
My facebook status says "In light of recent events and news headlines from today, one thing I can't help but think: You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." This is an ah-mazing song by Jeremy Camp that I find true joy in singing. At the top of my lungs. When I really sit and think about all the evil that has manifested itself in our society and how things have gone really wrong- I find that all I want to do is cling to Jesus. The things of this world will soon pass away- yet what are we left with? I know that I will be left with Christ. A sinless Savior who saw all of this crap from a throne on high- and chose to come down here and get rid of all the wrong in me so that I could experience true life and live for a purpose. The headlines just keep coming with more and more things that makes my heart uneasy. This is not going to be a political post. It isnt my "viewpoint" or things I support that I am afraid of saying - because I know what I believe and why I believe it- and it has nothing to do with a "party". I am not the best at politics because I honestly don't watch enough tv to know what the heck is going on. This post is SO much more than that. I hope the way I write it makes sense. I am not trying to offend you, if you read this and it strikes a cord in your thoughts- then it has served its purpose to engage your thinking past what is presented to you in the media and the world around you.
My heart breaks for where this country is today. We are so caught up in all the wrong things as a society that we forfeit the things that matter- the ones that really have bearing and lasting impressions- to hold on to things that are not going anywhere.
There has got to be something more, Sugarland brought that line to us. There honestly has to. Oh I wish our country could have this merky veil lifted from its eyes to see that all of this is not it. All of these things are nothing happy- They bring hurt and anger and a whole slew of other emotions.
I can tell you what it is though: It is Christ. It is Jesus. If you hold to the notion that more of Jesus is the last thing this country needs- oh I am positive that you are more in the wrong that you could ever be in the right. I honestly cant put in to words what I am feeling right now. I have so so much to say- but the words wont form. I stood at my sink in the bathroom for over an hour just thinking about how my heart hurts for the lost and the confused- and the wronged and the broken- and the inconsiderate and evil- and the ones who make it a point to be the center of attention at all the wrong times- and for those who have said hateful words or made it a point to discontinue friendships and ties with people- and for those who just dont know the truth. These are a few of the thoughts that keep playing in my mind:
As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement (KJV) Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgement (NIV) Hebrews 9:27 One life. One death. It really is YOLO- and that is biblical, maybe with a ghetto tweak, but read that verse again and know that this is it. You only get one life. And then you will face your Creator- whether you believe in him or not- and be judged for the life you have lived. Praise God that he is the judge and we are not- because we don't know the true essence of grace (getting what you dont deserve)
1 Kings 8:46-51 “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin —and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; 47 and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; 48 and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you ... 49 then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. 50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy;51 for they are your people and your inheritance...
Those verses speak for themselves. We have got to change. We have to repent and plead with God. We have to turn back- turn our eyes from evil things- cast down our idols. And Pray. Seems so simple, but it is evident that our country isnt doing this enough.
Isaiah 30:18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
God will bring compassion- and justice- and blessings-if we go seek him.
Psalm 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.
You want things to be different in this country and have headlines and news stories that create a sense of community and love and happiness? Then I suggest we get some God up in here. Right now. This nation's god is not God. It is time we changed that. This nation will never be blessed until we do.
My facebook status says "In light of recent events and news headlines from today, one thing I can't help but think: You can have all this world, but give me Jesus." This is an ah-mazing song by Jeremy Camp that I find true joy in singing. At the top of my lungs. When I really sit and think about all the evil that has manifested itself in our society and how things have gone really wrong- I find that all I want to do is cling to Jesus. The things of this world will soon pass away- yet what are we left with? I know that I will be left with Christ. A sinless Savior who saw all of this crap from a throne on high- and chose to come down here and get rid of all the wrong in me so that I could experience true life and live for a purpose. The headlines just keep coming with more and more things that makes my heart uneasy. This is not going to be a political post. It isnt my "viewpoint" or things I support that I am afraid of saying - because I know what I believe and why I believe it- and it has nothing to do with a "party". I am not the best at politics because I honestly don't watch enough tv to know what the heck is going on. This post is SO much more than that. I hope the way I write it makes sense. I am not trying to offend you, if you read this and it strikes a cord in your thoughts- then it has served its purpose to engage your thinking past what is presented to you in the media and the world around you.
My heart breaks for where this country is today. We are so caught up in all the wrong things as a society that we forfeit the things that matter- the ones that really have bearing and lasting impressions- to hold on to things that are not going anywhere.
There has got to be something more, Sugarland brought that line to us. There honestly has to. Oh I wish our country could have this merky veil lifted from its eyes to see that all of this is not it. All of these things are nothing happy- They bring hurt and anger and a whole slew of other emotions.
I can tell you what it is though: It is Christ. It is Jesus. If you hold to the notion that more of Jesus is the last thing this country needs- oh I am positive that you are more in the wrong that you could ever be in the right. I honestly cant put in to words what I am feeling right now. I have so so much to say- but the words wont form. I stood at my sink in the bathroom for over an hour just thinking about how my heart hurts for the lost and the confused- and the wronged and the broken- and the inconsiderate and evil- and the ones who make it a point to be the center of attention at all the wrong times- and for those who have said hateful words or made it a point to discontinue friendships and ties with people- and for those who just dont know the truth. These are a few of the thoughts that keep playing in my mind:
As it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgement (KJV) Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgement (NIV) Hebrews 9:27 One life. One death. It really is YOLO- and that is biblical, maybe with a ghetto tweak, but read that verse again and know that this is it. You only get one life. And then you will face your Creator- whether you believe in him or not- and be judged for the life you have lived. Praise God that he is the judge and we are not- because we don't know the true essence of grace (getting what you dont deserve)
1 Kings 8:46-51 “When they sin against you—for there is no one who does not sin —and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, who take them captive to their own lands, far away or near; 47 and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; 48 and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul in the land of their enemies who took them captive, and pray to you ... 49 then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause. 50 And forgive your people, who have sinned against you; forgive all the offenses they have committed against you, and cause their captors to show them mercy;51 for they are your people and your inheritance...
Those verses speak for themselves. We have got to change. We have to repent and plead with God. We have to turn back- turn our eyes from evil things- cast down our idols. And Pray. Seems so simple, but it is evident that our country isnt doing this enough.
Isaiah 30:18 Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
God will bring compassion- and justice- and blessings-if we go seek him.
Psalm 33:12 Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance.
You want things to be different in this country and have headlines and news stories that create a sense of community and love and happiness? Then I suggest we get some God up in here. Right now. This nation's god is not God. It is time we changed that. This nation will never be blessed until we do.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Pray all the more gladly
I know some of you are sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for a blog about my recent family vacation. Hold on to your britches, it will be posted after this one. I just felt the need to talk about this first- and I need to get my pictures in order for the other blog.
What would your answer be to the question "Do you pray for people?" Hold on- before you are quick to pull the trigger with a "of course I do, I pray for people all the time"- really think about who you are praying for. In the wake of this movie massacre in Aurora Colorado, I have found myself praying for people a lot differently than I normally pray. My heart goes out to this community and all of the people involved. I tear up every time one of the family members of the deceased speaks on tv. My prayers have been specific- and included someone I wouldn't normally have initially prayed for. The shooter/killer. I have prayed that somehow through all of this- he would be the first to find Jesus. That isnt me folks- trust me. God has brought me so far in the past few years to really learn about who He is and why everyone EVERYone needs Him.
When I try and wrap my mind around why this person would do such an awful thing- I am quickly reminded that everyone, despite the sin, needs forgiveness and needs to know that a Savior loves them more than anything. I dont know his "motive", but I do know that his heart was hardened and his mind was controlled by the enemy. That is why it happened. Satan's lies filled his head and it got to the point where he believed it. Oh my heart hurts for these people in Colorado. To the families burrying their young 20 year olds who were just coming into the peak of their lives to the sweet little 1st grader who was really just starting that innocent time period of her childhood- to the servicemen who volunteered to defend this country's and my individual freedom who never thought their battlefield would be a movie theater and not a foreign country- to the sweet guy who was going to celebrate his 1 year anniversary on Sunday- and to the rest of the lost- my heart is at a loss for words for these families.
I have prayed for these people that God would bring comfort and healing quickly. I have prayed for this strange and delussional killer, that God would have mercy on his soul- and that this guy would find grace and forgiveness.
I searched "thankful" on biblegateway.com this morning, because I have a lot to be thankful for- and sometimes I dont give God the glory for it. My heart is thankful, but my actions dont add up to that. Those secret sins get me everytime. Oh I pray over them- but for some reason- I give in again. This morning the verse I found was very profound.
First of all, I ask you to pray for everyone. Ask God to help and bless them all, and tell God how thankful you are for each of them. Pray for kings and others in power, so that we may live quiet and peaceful lives as we worship and honor God. This kind of prayer is good, and it pleases God our Savior. (1 Timothy 2:1-3 CEV)
Oh the sting of conviction. Everyone. Ask God to help & bless them all. (help him?- yes- he does need help but I think it is a little too late. blessings- you are kidding right?) not some of them, not the ones we like- all of them- including people who do wrong to us and others) How thankful you are for them (God I am not thankful for this right now- really?). Pray for kings and others in power (so often I put down our President and others in authority because their agenda doesnt match up with my beliefs- yet here I am commanded to pray for them). This prayer is good- pleases God. (How so it must bless God when we humble ourselves and pray for people that we don't necessarily like or agree with- what a true testament of a firm believer that grace is abounding and the more we share it, the more we are pleasing God).
I hope that when you read those verses you feel the same sting I felt. The conviction that you need to pray for people- and the people who we deem as not human. Pray for people. Really really pray for them- and not just a mention of their name to God- a deep prayer for blessings for them- even when we think they deserve a whole lot less. You and I don't deserve help or blessings- but God sees fit to show us mercy anyway (YET while we were still sinners..). Thankfully- you and I arent in the blessing business- because we would've went under a long time ago.
What would your answer be to the question "Do you pray for people?" Hold on- before you are quick to pull the trigger with a "of course I do, I pray for people all the time"- really think about who you are praying for. In the wake of this movie massacre in Aurora Colorado, I have found myself praying for people a lot differently than I normally pray. My heart goes out to this community and all of the people involved. I tear up every time one of the family members of the deceased speaks on tv. My prayers have been specific- and included someone I wouldn't normally have initially prayed for. The shooter/killer. I have prayed that somehow through all of this- he would be the first to find Jesus. That isnt me folks- trust me. God has brought me so far in the past few years to really learn about who He is and why everyone EVERYone needs Him.
When I try and wrap my mind around why this person would do such an awful thing- I am quickly reminded that everyone, despite the sin, needs forgiveness and needs to know that a Savior loves them more than anything. I dont know his "motive", but I do know that his heart was hardened and his mind was controlled by the enemy. That is why it happened. Satan's lies filled his head and it got to the point where he believed it. Oh my heart hurts for these people in Colorado. To the families burrying their young 20 year olds who were just coming into the peak of their lives to the sweet little 1st grader who was really just starting that innocent time period of her childhood- to the servicemen who volunteered to defend this country's and my individual freedom who never thought their battlefield would be a movie theater and not a foreign country- to the sweet guy who was going to celebrate his 1 year anniversary on Sunday- and to the rest of the lost- my heart is at a loss for words for these families.
I have prayed for these people that God would bring comfort and healing quickly. I have prayed for this strange and delussional killer, that God would have mercy on his soul- and that this guy would find grace and forgiveness.
I searched "thankful" on biblegateway.com this morning, because I have a lot to be thankful for- and sometimes I dont give God the glory for it. My heart is thankful, but my actions dont add up to that. Those secret sins get me everytime. Oh I pray over them- but for some reason- I give in again. This morning the verse I found was very profound.
First of all, I ask you to pray for everyone. Ask God to help and bless them all, and tell God how thankful you are for each of them. Pray for kings and others in power, so that we may live quiet and peaceful lives as we worship and honor God. This kind of prayer is good, and it pleases God our Savior. (1 Timothy 2:1-3 CEV)
Oh the sting of conviction. Everyone. Ask God to help & bless them all. (help him?- yes- he does need help but I think it is a little too late. blessings- you are kidding right?) not some of them, not the ones we like- all of them- including people who do wrong to us and others) How thankful you are for them (God I am not thankful for this right now- really?). Pray for kings and others in power (so often I put down our President and others in authority because their agenda doesnt match up with my beliefs- yet here I am commanded to pray for them). This prayer is good- pleases God. (How so it must bless God when we humble ourselves and pray for people that we don't necessarily like or agree with- what a true testament of a firm believer that grace is abounding and the more we share it, the more we are pleasing God).
I hope that when you read those verses you feel the same sting I felt. The conviction that you need to pray for people- and the people who we deem as not human. Pray for people. Really really pray for them- and not just a mention of their name to God- a deep prayer for blessings for them- even when we think they deserve a whole lot less. You and I don't deserve help or blessings- but God sees fit to show us mercy anyway (YET while we were still sinners..). Thankfully- you and I arent in the blessing business- because we would've went under a long time ago.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Keep your coins, I just want change
Change is the essence of dealing with life. We learn to adapt in different situations, move forward to better ourselves and our circumstances, and make decisions that cause life altering effects.
Change is never easy. Is is also never the first thing we gravitate to. We get stuck in our comfort bubbles- sometimes they are more like igloos because we have shut out change for a while- and we refuse to make any changes to where we are in life. Sometimes even- we know that there has to be changes made in order for life to go on, yet we are still resistant to it.
Why does it hurt so bad- even when we know that is the best choice? Why do we resist it? I can't speak for you, but I can tell you my "change" story.
It is really hard to admit that
There are times when your definition of change doesnt match up to how the change should take place in your life. i.e. changing your hair color because you need some change in your life. I was SO guilty of this in college. Every semester I had a new cut and color. Every semester. Until my junior year summer. I realized that no matter what color my hair was, I was still a loud speak your mind laugh out loud at the wrong times girl. If I needed change so much, I was going to have to dig into the character wardrobe and don on some new attitiudes if I wanted to be different. Im not knocking hair coloring- trust me I think it is awesome, and sometimes it gives a temporary change that is an awesome feeling- but not the kind of change Im talking about :)
Sometimes we have to have change to just breathe. A dear friend of me told me a few weeks ago "If nothing changes- nothing changes." Sounds like a crazy saying- but think about it. If you arent willing to give up somethings- your situation will be exactly the same as what is is now. No differences. Nothing new. Same old same old. In order to live life to its fullest and brightest capacity- you have to make some changes in your life.
Sometimes that is severing friendships that you have had for extended periods of time because you realize you dont and wont ever see eye to eye in this relationship. Maybe it is a new job- or new adventure in life. Other times change might come in the form of
Change hurts. If it didnt- we would have no need for therapists, counselors, mentors, and friends. But- sometimes that hurt and the fear of the unknown is what drives us to pursue that change. And in the end result- we see that although it hurts, it was for our best that we had to go through with it.
Dont know where to start but know you desperately need change in your life and in your heart? I encourage you to turn to Ephesians 4:23: (CEV) Let the Spirit change your way of thinking. You won't be able to do this on your own- trust me. And if you do decide you got this- Rest assured you dont.
I have made some major changes in my life in the past few months, weeks, and even yesterday. Changes that hurt and made me cry- question everything I know- and really cherish memories. And you know what- I'm still here. Though I thought some things
Friday, July 13, 2012
Friday 1-3
If you read the other day's post, I hope you know that it blessed my heart. What really makes my heart smile is knowing that SO MANY people care about my happiness. 2 of my best friends have told me so much in the past 3 weeks "I am so happy that you are happy!" and "Oh- you dont know what it does to me to know you are happy again!" and one's husband even said it was good to see me happy again. This my readers- is what a true friendship looks like.
To have friends who get HAPPY when YOU are happy. These friends have been through a lot the past couple of months in their own lives, and for them to take a moment out of their personal dealings to wish and bless happiness over me- wow, it is a feeling I cant really explain. It is so cool to know that you truly are loved. Not like in a sob suck face romance love- but a love that can never be broken because of complete understanding of what it means to be a friend. Proverbs 17:17 says that "A friend loves at all times, a brother is born for a time of adversity". All. Times.
This includes the ups- the downs, and the pick yourself up off the floor times. I am grateful for people who TRULY care about my happiness and never try and negate it and take it away from me. From college ministers, to college friends, to people I really have only met once or twice-to people from my church who I thought hated me, to precious best friends- these people are the ones that have been praying me through this trial. And you will never ever ever ever know how awesome it has been to have these prayers wash over me.
I pray I can be that kind of friend. To share in one's happiness and never strangle it out. To support my dearest friends in THEIR times of need. It is so awesome to know people want the best for you. And that when you get it, a small part of them rejoices on the inside because God is so faithful and they got to share in that blessing with you.
So- today is Friday the 13th. My Granny was REAL superstitious and we could never go see her on one of these days- and she had this sign she would do for black cats- and never split a pole if you were walking with her- and she would never walk under ladders. She was very superstitious. (now you are singing that song). I loved my Granny though- she taught me a lot about life. So- to not jinx the day ;) (she is probably rolling over in her grave now) I want you to know that in your times of need- and in your trials- and in the points where you say- I'm over it- know that your truest of friends are praying for your happiness- and praying your through this time in your life. Never steal someone's happiness or try and steal the spotlight for your own life drama when someone else is going through crap. Be there for them, listen to them, give your opinion in a loving way (sometimes you have to be FIRM) and pray them through it.
True happiness comes when those around you experience happiness. And in the moment you share happiness with another- you find yourself a little more complete than you were yesterday.
To have friends who get HAPPY when YOU are happy. These friends have been through a lot the past couple of months in their own lives, and for them to take a moment out of their personal dealings to wish and bless happiness over me- wow, it is a feeling I cant really explain. It is so cool to know that you truly are loved. Not like in a sob suck face romance love- but a love that can never be broken because of complete understanding of what it means to be a friend. Proverbs 17:17 says that "A friend loves at all times, a brother is born for a time of adversity". All. Times.
This includes the ups- the downs, and the pick yourself up off the floor times. I am grateful for people who TRULY care about my happiness and never try and negate it and take it away from me. From college ministers, to college friends, to people I really have only met once or twice-to people from my church who I thought hated me, to precious best friends- these people are the ones that have been praying me through this trial. And you will never ever ever ever know how awesome it has been to have these prayers wash over me.
I pray I can be that kind of friend. To share in one's happiness and never strangle it out. To support my dearest friends in THEIR times of need. It is so awesome to know people want the best for you. And that when you get it, a small part of them rejoices on the inside because God is so faithful and they got to share in that blessing with you.
So- today is Friday the 13th. My Granny was REAL superstitious and we could never go see her on one of these days- and she had this sign she would do for black cats- and never split a pole if you were walking with her- and she would never walk under ladders. She was very superstitious. (now you are singing that song). I loved my Granny though- she taught me a lot about life. So- to not jinx the day ;) (she is probably rolling over in her grave now) I want you to know that in your times of need- and in your trials- and in the points where you say- I'm over it- know that your truest of friends are praying for your happiness- and praying your through this time in your life. Never steal someone's happiness or try and steal the spotlight for your own life drama when someone else is going through crap. Be there for them, listen to them, give your opinion in a loving way (sometimes you have to be FIRM) and pray them through it.
True happiness comes when those around you experience happiness. And in the moment you share happiness with another- you find yourself a little more complete than you were yesterday.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Funny.
Funny how life has a way of working itself out. Or- is it that God really is in control of this thing called life and he works it out to our good?
Just a few updates for my life as of lately. This post was started sometime in the end of June...whoops.
1. Bama called last week (Friday 6/29). I can't begin to describe how the emotion of contentment and satisfaction flowed over me when I was talking to the director. She said they offered the position to someone else but was incredibly grateful to have met me and learned a lot from me. This was truly God ordained that I didnt get offered this job. I was ok with not going and so thankful for them taking a chance on me- and spending a lot of time and money on me to get me down there. I learned so much from this experience- about myself and my career. Thank you God, because we both know that Bama wasnt right for me right now.
2. I moved on Friday (6/29). From the "Ritz Carlton" of townhouses to the "Holiday Inn" of places. I have peace about it. I am hoping that it will be an ok place. I like it- I just need more space, but I am going to have to live in the content life again. We need to fix the smell- or the mold if that is there, but so far, it has been ok.
3. Things took a MAJOR turn of events for me over the past 3 weeks (starting 6/21). If you have been following this blog- you know that for the last 6 months- all hell broke lose back in January. Crazy how God works things out- better than you could ever plan or imagine. I can finally admit how bad things were. It is ONLY because of the sheer grace of God that I can do this. Imight have did post some awful feelings on here. You probably pictured me crying my eyes out and wiping the snot from my nose when you read some of my sob stories. That is all very true. I can admit that I pretty much went off the deep end of a broken heart. I did have eating disorder issues. I did have to go to counseling. I did have to have my boss MAKE me go to counseling. I did cry to my parents every chance I got. I did lose ALL self confidence and self worth. I did get stupid jealous of people for no reasons. I did only apply to Bama to get the heck away from all of this. I did not care about anything. I did wish hurt on people, just so they would feel what I was feeling. I did make a lot of mistakes. I did fill up the last 3 months with a person I shouldnt have, since they broke my heart. I did make dumb decisions based on temporary feelings- praise the Lord they weren't permanent. I did act like a hamster on a wheel and just ran and ran and ran and never went anywhere because I was too afraid of change. I did lose it. I did talk about this like it was my child and bore my friends to tears from going on and on and on and on about it. I did make myself miserable.
I did all of this and more- yet God chose to bring me through this in a way that would only make me appreciate the rain because the rainbow I am standing under now is completely perfect. People say you never understand something until you have to go though it own your own. I can attest to this. You have HAVE have to go through bad times in your life to really appreciate the good ones. My bad time lasted 6 months. Even though it couldve been cut short earlier, I know that God wasnt finished with me.
So- pick up to today, July 11, 2012. WHOA. Things are very different. I will admit that I have to eat my words about never dating again and that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone with just me and Mowgli. So, for those of you, the countless number of you, who said this (that I would date again and I would marry and I would be happy) to me- I am sorry I didnt listen or believe you when you believed in me. God has brought me the most amazing MAN to spend life with. How it happened is a crazy story that only God could make happen. It is amazing how things quickly change and you just say to God "I give UP! I am so stinking tired of this- because nothing is changing. If you want something for my life, you better bring it, because I am DONE trying to find out what it is." These are my EXACT words. You have no idea what it took in me to say this to God, but I am so glad I did. I let it go. I let all the past hurt and drama and neglect and NOTHING EVER CHANGING GO. Gone. I was done. And God is faithful and provided.
Never once did he leave me- he carried me through this mess to bring me a beautiful story- that he wrote just for me.
So, today I sit here and type this and reflect on a lot of things. Right now I have it pretty dang good. A guy who truly truly loves me (I know you dont understand that, but it isnt for you to understand)- showers me with attention and affection- parents who still love me after moving me 8 times and support me and my decisions, even if they are wrong- some pretty awesome ladies who have heard my truest heart of hearts and let me cry out my problems to them (so thanks Amy, Andrea, Laurie, Julie R. and Rachel- I couldnt ask for better friends to confide in)- some amazing coworkers who love the pieces out of me and are so happy that I am happy and give me REAL life advice because they truly care about me (My boss, Leah, and Stephanie) and a relationship with the Lord that is much stronger now because of this. To you God I am grateful- because you know what is best for me- because you created best.
Just a few updates for my life as of lately. This post was started sometime in the end of June...whoops.
1. Bama called last week (Friday 6/29). I can't begin to describe how the emotion of contentment and satisfaction flowed over me when I was talking to the director. She said they offered the position to someone else but was incredibly grateful to have met me and learned a lot from me. This was truly God ordained that I didnt get offered this job. I was ok with not going and so thankful for them taking a chance on me- and spending a lot of time and money on me to get me down there. I learned so much from this experience- about myself and my career. Thank you God, because we both know that Bama wasnt right for me right now.
2. I moved on Friday (6/29). From the "Ritz Carlton" of townhouses to the "Holiday Inn" of places. I have peace about it. I am hoping that it will be an ok place. I like it- I just need more space, but I am going to have to live in the content life again. We need to fix the smell- or the mold if that is there, but so far, it has been ok.
3. Things took a MAJOR turn of events for me over the past 3 weeks (starting 6/21). If you have been following this blog- you know that for the last 6 months- all hell broke lose back in January. Crazy how God works things out- better than you could ever plan or imagine. I can finally admit how bad things were. It is ONLY because of the sheer grace of God that I can do this. I
I did all of this and more- yet God chose to bring me through this in a way that would only make me appreciate the rain because the rainbow I am standing under now is completely perfect. People say you never understand something until you have to go though it own your own. I can attest to this. You have HAVE have to go through bad times in your life to really appreciate the good ones. My bad time lasted 6 months. Even though it couldve been cut short earlier, I know that God wasnt finished with me.
So- pick up to today, July 11, 2012. WHOA. Things are very different. I will admit that I have to eat my words about never dating again and that I was going to spend the rest of my life alone with just me and Mowgli. So, for those of you, the countless number of you, who said this (that I would date again and I would marry and I would be happy) to me- I am sorry I didnt listen or believe you when you believed in me. God has brought me the most amazing MAN to spend life with. How it happened is a crazy story that only God could make happen. It is amazing how things quickly change and you just say to God "I give UP! I am so stinking tired of this- because nothing is changing. If you want something for my life, you better bring it, because I am DONE trying to find out what it is." These are my EXACT words. You have no idea what it took in me to say this to God, but I am so glad I did. I let it go. I let all the past hurt and drama and neglect and NOTHING EVER CHANGING GO. Gone. I was done. And God is faithful and provided.
Never once did he leave me- he carried me through this mess to bring me a beautiful story- that he wrote just for me.
So, today I sit here and type this and reflect on a lot of things. Right now I have it pretty dang good. A guy who truly truly loves me (I know you dont understand that, but it isnt for you to understand)- showers me with attention and affection- parents who still love me after moving me 8 times and support me and my decisions, even if they are wrong- some pretty awesome ladies who have heard my truest heart of hearts and let me cry out my problems to them (so thanks Amy, Andrea, Laurie, Julie R. and Rachel- I couldnt ask for better friends to confide in)- some amazing coworkers who love the pieces out of me and are so happy that I am happy and give me REAL life advice because they truly care about me (My boss, Leah, and Stephanie) and a relationship with the Lord that is much stronger now because of this. To you God I am grateful- because you know what is best for me- because you created best.
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