Friday, February 27, 2015

Round 2

So here is the baby story: (condensed)

8 Weeks to 40 Weeks



December 2, 2015. Checkup on that day -dilated 4.5 cm- Dr asked what we were doing the next day and said be here at 6:30 am. So- off to Best Buy and Carrabba's we went. We had a great last night as a family of two- and woke up at 4:45 to get ready to put on my makeup, ate my breakfast- then got on our way to Macon.

Got checked in before shift change and got settled in to one of the nice big labor/delivery/recovery rooms. Dr. came by around 8 and said we were 5 cm . He broke my water and it was really uncomfortable. No gushing or Niagara falls. I really didn't feel anything. Kevin said it was a trickle.

Started the fluid for my epidural at this time. The whole thing just kind of felt like I was having some kind of surgery that day. We were just hanging out and talking.

The pitocin seemed to start my contractions very well- but I didn't feel anything. We were off the charts and the nurse was like- you don't feel that? I didn't feel anything so they upped my dosage 2 times. I started feeling a flutter-tension like, but I still was fine. After upping the dose again- I can remember Kevin's parents had just left the room and I went to the bathroom again. Here is when I decided "Oh my gosh- Kevin- tell them I'm ready for the epidural!"

The pain is hard to describe- but I felt like everything in my lower body was tightening up with a burning sensation following suit. We got the anesthesiology team in and I remember being SCARED for my life. This was my biggest hangup about delivery- the epidural. I felt better about it from the class- but now I was having a small panic attack.

They came in- suited up- and put me high off the floor hanging off the edge of the bed. Kevin was in front of me, but I couldn't really see anything but his stomach area.

The Nurse Anesthetist tried to talk me though what was happening, but also while telling/teaching someone who was a student how to do an epidural. I took my deep breath and did what she said with my back- then WHAM! Every ounce of blood, every fiber of my being, every cell in my body felt the numbing scrape of that needle hit my spine. I screamed- I don't remember much of this- but I was suddenly nauseous, screaming and crying- begging for them to stop. I had Kevin's shirt in my hand pulling it and crying. He asked them to stop and said I couldn't do this right now- and she said she couldn't stop because it was threaded in. She hit 2 more spots before the 10 minute ordeal was up. By far- the worst pain I have ever felt in my entire life.  It was truly awful, frightening, and miserable.

They hadn't put enough numbing stuff in it initially and that girl didn't know what she was doing.

It took on my right side- not my left so what I thought were bad contractions now turned into what felt like burning hot gears churning my left leg at the hip. It was awful. They saw my contractions were making me nauseous, and said I was going to have to get another epidural or labor through this..which was only going to get worse.

I remember looking at Kevin with my teeth clenched biting a pillow and said I'm done. No more kids ever.

45 minutes later- I said screw it and get the DOCTOR. He was there really quick- put me on the bed (keep in mind my right leg was numb) and had the new epidural put in in less than 90 seconds. No pain. No nothing. Seriously girl- what the heck was your problem!!!

After this one- I jumped to 8cm and we just waited about an hour and a half. Dr. came in and said "ok- it's time to push". I looked and Kevin and I think we both freaked out a little. What? Now? Are we ready? Are you sure? That was quick.

They got their baby box filled with lots of clean up goodies set up- and we pushed. My epidural was awesome and I didn't feel anything this time. I didn't even know when to push. I didn't know I was pushing- I just did what they said. I was cracking jokes and asking if we could play "Push it" while I was in there. I was even asking if they had seen The Campaign and said you know the part where he is at the door and says "Push it. Push it real good?" The dr and nurse were cracking up. 35 minutes later...

Kevin helped deliver Kaleb and brought him into this world. It was so surreal and beautiful. We heard him screaming when they lifted him up and it was so beautiful.

Total labor- 7 hours from the time we started my ivs til he was born. It was great.



Now- on to the rest of the things I wish someone would have told me:

10. Going to the bathroom after giving birth is not only scarier than birth- but more painful and intense. Start popping that Colace now ladies. It took a good 4 days postpartum and 45 minutes to know that my body was never going to be the same ever again.

9. None of my friends felt the need to tell me about these 2 new friends you get from pushing- but they are evil twins not friends. Their names are Hem and Roid. Seriously- why wasn't that mentioned in the class?! These new friends made me miserable for 2 plus months after birth!

8. The thing activity that got you that bundle of joy needs to never be mentioned again. I know that all guys have the 6 week countdown on- but trust me- your calendar will be about a month behind theirs. Maybe 2. I asked my Dr. to lie and say it wasn't time yet. He laughed. I didn't.

7. You aren't a bad parent if you send your kid to the nursery to get some sleep. We finally had reached our breaking point and I called the nurse to come get him for a little while. He was gone an hour- but it was great to sleep a little and not be constantly watching to see if he was breathing.

6. Birth plans are just a trendy thing right now. I asked my dr about them and if I needed one and what was it- and he laughed. He said I wish people would just let me do my job. I said- oh I am all for that- you are the expert- I just didn't know if those were real things or not. We learned in our class if you are adamant about no epidural- then push comes to shove- and you takes some pain meds to help the pain- you can't consent to get an epidural later on no mater how hard you beg/cry/complain- because you aren't in a sober/drug free mind. So- just sign the consent form just in case you need it. That whole music-on-with-the-lights down-no c-section- birth is not really a reality. The person delivering you  knows what they are doing- and that if you should need extra care- your mindset is "healthy baby- healthy momma"; get baby here as safe as possible and as easy for mom as can be.

5. While you are trying to bond- there are going to be a million different hospital people coming in and out to check you or the baby. I got so mad at this sweet lil Asian lady for asking me how many times I had been to the bathroom since she had last been there. I wanted to say- I have no clue- I honestly couldn't remember if I had been since she left or not! I just said 2 to get her out of my hair.

4. The sitz bath is a must. For real. Holy Moly. I waited til day 2 and I should've done this when the feeling in my legs came back. You should totally take it home to- they told me I could and I didn't think I would need it. Oh man- I needed it!

3. Pack extra clothes for the baby. I packed 3 cute outfits and dern if he didn't pee and spit up on 2 of them and 1 was too big and hot. We had to send my MIL to the house and get some clothes. Some onesies are fine. Something with easy access! Snaps are awful. Zippers are your best friend.

2. That whole circumcision cleaning vaseline thing. No one told us about this til we got home! We didn't know we were supposed to be pushing anything back! Talk about feeling like you failed your kid right off the bat!

1. The #1 thing not one soul mentioned to me- no class- no nursing friends- no current or past mommas- no book- nothing...




was to pack my own TOILET PAPER. Good grief. That whole birth process is really a feat in itself- but going to the bathroom afterwards was so bad because of the TP. Sticky- gooey- no help- John Wayne slick rolls. It hurt. So- that is the one tip I will give anyone going to deliver- help momma- visit- or whatever- pack some SOFT toilet paper!


That's it in a nut shell. I tried to make it as real as possible. Don't hate the messenger. Maybe you can learn from some of my mistakes and be a little better prepared!
 I found this video today in a group and I had to share. Might be TMI- but it is spot on.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/abagg/this-hilarious-ad-perfectly-captures-how-awkward-it-is-for-m?bffbvid&utm_term=4ldqpj5#.oyJb0R265

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