Well- A lot has happened

I just saw I last posted in August- good grief that was an eternity ago.

We welcomed a sweet screaming and kicking baby into the world on December 3, 2014. He has since stolen our hearts and is the ruler of the house. I have been meaning to write about our pregnancy/delivery experience for a while now. There are a lot of things that I knew going in that I feel helped us have a great delivery/birthing experience. There are also some things that I learned in the process that might help someone else out in their experience. So- here goes. These is my 1st Top 10 thoughts and attitudes- you can take them or leave them.

There are a few rules to parenting- that sometimes do not get followed.

Rule #1- Do not ask a new momma or daddy from the time they bring baby home til baby is 3 months old "Is he/she sleeping through the night?" or "How are they sleeping?"

Why does everyone want to know how your kid is sleeping? Is that like new parent etiquette to ask just so you can laugh???  Just don't ask it. 1 it really is none of your concern- and 2 they are a newborn human trying to figure out life outside of the womb. New babies don't sleep. Period. (and if you are so lucky that your child has slept great since day one- you don't need to mention that either). Breastfed babies certainly don't sleep for long periods of time- because breast milk is easily digested and therefore- baby needs to eat more to feel full!
I think this was one of the most frustrating things when we had Kaleb. Every visitor wanted to know how he was sleeping. Here is your clue: Take a look at momma and daddy and if they look like they got ran over by a Sharpie truck- then you will know. Baby isn't sleeping. My answer has now become- he is sleeping like a baby. Next go around (if there is one) it will be "they are sleeping great." Some kids never sleep- just don't ask.

Rule #2- I learned to not offer advice unless it was solicited {I'm aware I am doing that with this post, but this is an experience post as well :)} Every pregnancy is different (no matter what that book What to Expect when you are Expecting claims) and every delivery is different- and every baby is different. You cannot hope to base your experience off of someone else's experience because you will soon fall short or be really disappointed. It isn't a contest. I did find that it was MUCH easier to take advice from friends who were "in the trenches" with us....like they have a baby under age 1 right now as well. I was lucky to have a few friends pregnant at the same time and we have formed a sweet bond to answering each others questions and reassuring that we are being good mommas. Ask your questions to those people- because it just helps when their kids are little and not "oh well my baby liked this"- and their baby is now 30. A LOT has changed in 3 decades of parenting- and it is just nice to have someone going though it with you. - With that said...I'm just offering my experience up since I have a lot of pregnant friends who are probably scared like I was.

There are some other rules I would like to include- but for now we will move on to the first Top 10!

1. If you do not like your doctor/hospital for delivery- you need to change. Seriously, this was the BIGGEST and Best decision we made at week 13. I wanted to be in a place that was prepared to delivery a baby and care for momma in case there was an emergency- not have that hospital come and get my baby and leave me at the non-trauma hospital until I was released to go to the trauma hospital to be with my baby. Having a NICU was #1 priority. Also, I wanted to feel like an expectant mom- not a number or a paycheck. We changed to a practice that actually knows my face and knows my husband- and they are incredibly nice. So nice I ever took them cookies for the whole office because it was THAT great of an experience. My doctor- good grief he found his calling. Out of this world on being able to talk to me and make me feel comfortable and knows. his. stuff. Answered all  my questions and never made me feel like I should have known the answer ( I didn't read any books, didn't have that many questions, but towards the end I did). He is top notch. I was weirded out by going to a male doctor because I had never been, but I can honestly say the 3 men doctors I had at the practice were A WHOLE LOT more compassionate and understanding that the women from the practice where I came from. Change doctors if there is ANY hesitation. You will not regret it. Driving to Macon was well worth the care I received, and my husband could tell I was more at ease from being there. Also- Board Certification is KEY. You want a doctor that has passed a proficiency test in OBGYN and has to report to a higher up community when things go wrong, should they go wrong.

2. Stay hydrated. I tried to drink a gallon of water each day during my pregnancy- and a little more the last 2 weeks before delivery. You have no idea how much this helps towards the end- because you can't get an epidural until they give you a bag of fluid to offset the possibility of making your blood pressure drop. I didn't know that til childbirth class. So- no matter what your pain level  is like- you ain't getting the good stuff til they pump you with fluids. The more hydrated you are when you go in- the better you absorb the additional fluid and it goes faster- which means pain goes away quicker! I drank a bottle of water on the way to the hospital- and my sweet dr let me have ice chips after the epidural. You do not want to be thirsty in labor!!

The second part of drinking lots of water during my pregnancy helped me not gain a lot of weight. Every girl wants that right? Start drinking and make it a habit. I gained 1 pound over my max I set for myself. (and if you are wondering- it was 31 lbs- 30 was my limit). I have lost almost all of the baby weight, minus the last 7 lbs of pregnancy weight. Chalk that up to breastfeeding and drinking my gallon. Let's hope I can fit in my real clothes sometime before the kid turns 2.

3. You can't believe everything you read. I didn't read anything til 3 weeks before delivery. I wanted to experience it and form my own opinions. I read on a money saving blog you would only need 3 packages of newborn diapers because they grow so fast. Wrong. My baby stayed in newborns til he was over a month old. We went through a case and some packages! I read Babywise after delivery- and it helped me to understand what could be wrong, but my baby isn't following that schedule like I hoped. I read the last 2 weeks of chapters in what to expect...and it didn't really tell me anything my childbirth class didn't mention. Don't freak yourself out based on books and stories. I did read about breastfeeding- the how to's and do's and don'ts, and I think that helped a lot.

4. Ask questions to your doctor/teachers/nurses. The more you ask the more you know. If you don't ask it, you will always be wondering. And ask the questions everyone wants to know the answer to- but is afraid to ask. In our childbirth class (I recommend you take this and a breast feeding class because that knowledge is wonderful and put me at ease about a lot of things!) I asked what is the protocol when things go wrong- what happens to momma and baby- what about busting stitches- how often does this hospital do c-sections/use forceps ...those good things.

5. No one wants to talk about this- but I will. Every expectant mom's fear is that they will poop on themselves during pushing. I was scared to death of this and I told my doctor I was and that if I did I would have to find a new doctor- and he said- "well I don't want you to think you have to do that, it happens, we are used to it". and I reiterated I didn't want it to happen- so he offered up this little gem of a secret: get an enema at the hospital/ or do one at home before you come. Sounds so gross- but I'm telling you it was worth it. Less that 5 minutes of being incredibly uncomfortable with a nurse- and then using the bathroom- then I was good to go. That was the best decision I made. (and no I didn't have my fear come true because of this!)

6. Eat before you go to the hospital. I was sort-of-induced/scheduled for delivery (I was almost 5cm at my due date appointment-I was 5 cm by the time we got to the hospital the next day). You can't eat once they get you in checked in until after the baby is delivered. So eat something with protein and carbs before you go!

7. The magic hour. Not all hospitals do this, but it is an awesome thing. Your experience will be just that- magical and truly special. After you deliver- baby is kept with mom and dad- skin to skin- for an hour. No family interruptions. No weight. No bath. Just perfect bonding time. It was truly beautiful. Yes our parents were dying to see the baby- but this was time we were never going to get back and it was just the 3 of us. If they don't have that, ask to delay all the measurements/bath.

8. Lactation consultant. Mine was a life saver. She came in after my magic hour and helped me to figure out breastfeeding. (that doll we practiced with just wasn't the same- this new toy had some serious gums). She was an angel who worked with me for 20 minutes- came to my room that night and helped- and then the next day came by. I had to call her when I was at home and she spent 20 minutes answering all my questions. It was awesome. Use them if you plan to breastfeed.

9. Breastfeeding: No one told me it was going to feel like a baby alligator with no teeth clinched down on your nipple. Seriously- why didn't anyone say it was going to hurt?! It was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done- but man it has been so worth it. Lactation nurse gave me a nipple shield and I used it for a month- and now we don't have to. Pack one in your bag just in case. Not every hospital gives them out, but mine did with lanolin cream- that is amazing too. Breastfeeding was really hard the first 6 weeks of Kaleb's life, but I will tell you what someone told me- stick with it if you want to do it- the pain does go away and it gets so much easier once you figure out what works for you and baby. I am very grateful to have a husband that supported me in doing this- if you have no support, it will not work for you. You can also exclusively pump if you just can't breastfeed because of the pain.

Kevin and I had some friends say some really hurtful things to me/us about breastfeeding- that I wasn't giving my baby enough and he needed more- and I needed to supplement- and that he was just incredibly hungry which is why he wasn't sleeping though the night- and he should be sleeping the entire night at 7 weeks-and 30 minutes more of what we were doing wrong and what we should be doing- and it affected me so bad that it made my milk supply decrease a LOT that day. I cried and cried. Hear me now: if you don't want to breastfeed, that is so ok. But if someone else is trying- do not tell them it isn't enough and their kid needs to be eating more or they need to supplement. If that baby is gaining weight and peeing, there is nothing wrong. Find your support before you start. Your Pediatrician will tell you when it is time to supplement.

10. Parenting- It is truly the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I have come to find that how someone else does things is how they do them- and they are the parents. The only part of that I can and will question because it is a threat to my family- is not vaccinating. Everything else is totally the parent's choice of how to do things. So, if momma doesn't want baby out because of being born in flu/rsv season, that needs to be respected. If momma/daddy don't want to do daycare- that is their choice. If momma doesn't want the baby away from home while he is still young, we have to understand that this is their baby and they get to make those choices. Yes I have become obsessive about not getting our baby sick or putting him in danger. I know these feelings will fade, but right now he is still my little baby and I am doing all I can to protect him. We just need to be respectful about it. It is so hard to see the other side right now, but it is their kid. If they make a mistake, they will learn from it.

I didn't let Kaleb have a passy when he was born- at day 5 pediatrician said he could have it after Kevin asked- and now when he is fussy the passy works- sometimes. He only gets it when he is fussy or going to sleep.

I wanted to use regular diapers, but I can totally understand why people use cloth. We have emptied our pail 2 times this week!

I want my kid to eat healthy so we are going to make our own baby food and breastfeed (if we can) til he is 1. I'm still out on that teeth/boobie thing, so he might just get breastmilk bottles then! ;)

How one person does things is their business and I'm so sorry if I ever opened my mouth about how something should be done to any of my friends.

There you have it- my first Top Ten. Tune in tomorrow for what really went down in the delivery room. Something about "push it, push it real good" in a Marty Huggins voice.

Crockpot Jesus in a Microwave world

In recent conversations with some of my closest friends, I have found that I am not the only one "waiting".

I have tried to be the gentle spirit that reminds people to just wait- but waiting is hard.

Things I hate waiting on:

• The laundry to finish the wrinkle release cycle
• Test results- either in medical or physical form
• Slow people in aisles
• Slow people on the road
• Slow people in general
• a service company- I'm looking at you alarm and cable companies
• a long time for food at a restaurant
• answers when I don't have or know them
• long lines
• people using EBT cards with big buggies
• people with EBT cards
• food that requires more than 3 minutes of microwave time
• people who are fully capable of serving themselves- but refuse

So- there are a few "earthly" things I hate waiting on. Sometimes- we are really tested with waiting on things we really want.

A new house - car- job. A significant other. A promotion. An answer to a long time prayer. A better life for our families. A better life for us. A new opportunity. A change in place. A feeling of purpose. Restoration and healing.  An understanding and clarity. Just some peace, Lord. Strength- guidance- and comfort. Many things, yet we don't always get it instantly.  

We live in a microwave world but serve a crock pot Jesus. (direct quote from me)

Microwave is almost instant. I lived off of instant Kraft mac and cheese in college because it was easy and quick. 2 minutes and you are done. 

Crockpots seem to take FORRRRRREEEEVVVVVEERRR (in a Sandlot voice). You can't open it until it is had the full time to cook- but man, isn't it Amazing when you finally get to open it?!

Our life: Why not now- God- why not? Why can't this, that, or the other go my way?

In reality: God says "It is not time"

Everything has a distinct and purposeful time. It may not come when we want it- or expect it- but I believe it will come. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 says "He has made all things beautiful in its time". A favorite verse that reminds me- its time is not my time. 

What power is that to know that something beautiful will come from every situation we struggle with. 

The first part of Ecclesiastes chapter 3 goes like this:

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

2     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
4     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

I don't know what "time" you are in right now- but my prayer is that you will be reminded that your time is not really "yours" and that God's timing is always perfect. Sometimes our waiting is a miserable process- and we want to give up. But in that process God makes you to be exactly what he wants you to be- and is making something beautiful out of it. Sometimes, we have to realize we might not get to see the beauty, but it will still come. 

Your time will come, it may not be the way you would have chosen, but thankfully the Creator of the world holds us in his hands and he doesn't wear a watch or follow earthly deadlines. 

..When 30 Was old

Let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we?

 age 3-4 Burger King Milly

 Age 22, Applebees Milly

Age 22, Amelia Island Age 23, Comedy Club Macon

 Age 24, Pottery painting Macon

 Age 25, ATL Airport- #5 missed flight to Vegas

  25, Vegas

  26, At my little house in Milly

  27, Milly at GCSU

 28, Hilton Head Island

29, Tybee Island

 29

30, Milly









There you have it. A look back over the last 10 years of birthdays- minus my 21st- because clearly that wasn't documented (trust me- that is a good thing). I did have a huge pool party- but those arent digital prints.

I have reached another milestone and can only credit God for that. In the past 10 years, I have done some incredible things. I think I wrote about those things a while ago (I think 10 year HS reunion). In the past 2 years, I have found the one whom my soul loves, got married, and are expecting our firstborn in a few months. Whoa- time goes fast when you hit that married point.

As far as an astronomical birthday for my dirty 30- I wouldn't take it that far- but good that is what we will call it. I woke up to 3 little pups snuggling with me and singing me happy birthday. My sweet husband had taken me out to dinner and a movie the night before- and was now at work. Then I said- what the heck I'm 30- I'm eating cupcakes for breakfast. ..with a bagel- it was balanced....

Sprinkles make everything better. Then I went to church and it was a really good sermon- and my sweet friends in Sunday school had brought me a breakfast strudel with "30" candles on it. After church I went home and Kevin was there.

Yay for presents! My husband is a PHENOMENAL gift giver- hands down. I got 3 dvds that were great- especially another copy of The Goonies since someone stole my other one... a HAMMOCK! (this is huge because I have been saying I wanted one for the past 2 years)... a foot spa (heated, massaging, and amazing..since I complained about my last one getting broken and my feet hurting now that I am pregnant) and the dinner and a movie (The Giver). Oh! and a onesie for Kaleb that says "My daddy knows a lot but my mommy knows everything". So good- he takes notes, literally, and never has to question his gifts!

After presents we did laundry and Kevin took a nap - told you it was exciting. I got SHOCKED from putting something in the baby's room and touching the wrong part of the missing light plate. Needless to say the cover goes back on today!!

We finally went to his parents for lake time around 2:30- the bottom fell out- we finally got the boat situated and ready to go- get on the water for 10 minutes as Kevin is about to wake surf- and ALARM ALARM ALARM... a SWAT callout.

High tail it back to the dock- drop him off- and he's gone. I did enjoy a nice boat ride with my in-laws and dogs- so I just made the most of it (my parents were out of town- if you were wondering). My sweet in-laws ordered my favorite pizza (Dominos hand tossed bacon, pepperoni, pineapple) and we had a nice dinner just hanging out. Kevin finally made it about around 9:30 and we enjoyed this masterpiece of a caramel cake made by my Mother in law. (it won't rotate in the program)

So, overall it was a good birthday. 30 seems so ancient when you are 21. Now that I'm here- it is still hard to say, but I'm guessing that I will be just fine. I'm surrounded by a great family and an awesome MIL and FIL, have a best friend, lover, and match made in heaven husband to share life with, and have a lot of friends who love me. A decade has come to a close- and a new one is underway. 

Missing the Boat

Last week my awesome husband and I were out of the country on our summer vacation. Wait you didn't know? Oh my gosh we totally (intentionally) didn't put it online. Anyway- we had a wonderful getaway from the world- my favorite part was not hearing my husband's cell phone go off all hours of the day and night.

We set out on the road Saturday to not have to wake up as early on Sunday and drive down to Florida. We made a few childhood stops in my old hometown of Baxley, Georgia before finding a nonsketchy hotel in Jacksonville (ps- that was hard to do).

Here is the house I grew up in from 3rd to 6th grade. I remember a much prettier yard and it had white shingles.

My daddy built that wood fence. Still standing years later.

Here is Kevin at his favorite restaurant from going to the beach with his family every year when he was young- in the place where I grew up- small
world. I'm willing to bet we could have been in the same place at the same time sometime during his vacations!

Before we set sail- we had a major  huge tiny set back. I had sent off my passport to be updated the very first part of July. It didn't make it back in time. And I realized when we got to Jacksonville that I needed my birth certificate. Crap. So- after calling Carnival and explaining the situation- things were looking really grim for me to get on the ship. Even though I was a past cruiser- they weren't going to let me on without some kind of proof of citizenship.

Enter panic. We only had ONE week the entire summer to go on vacation. ONE week y'all. This was it. We had patiently waited allllllll of summer seeing our friends and family on trips for our time to come. And it was about to happen without me. I did manage not to cry, but I really wanted to. I just felt bad for being a horrible wife who managed to pack everything for my husband- and forget the one thing to get me on the stinkin' boat.

So- what did we do? We called our mommas- that's what we did. I called my mom and asked her if she somehow by the proper planning of a good momma had a copy of my birth certificate. She could tell I was in panic mode. She said she would look and call me back. I then proceeded to call my Milly and ask her if she would go on a treasure hunt in our house for a piece of paper that may or may not exist. My mom called back and said she had a certified copy of my birth certificate. Hallelujah!

But- we were still in the car and I needed a copy in my hands. 10ish that night we finally received a fax from home at our hotel and I could semi- relax for the trip.

The next morning- I tried to check us in online- and apparently we missed that option at midnight. The lady (on the phone) told Kevin we needed to be at the port at 11:30. We were still 2 hours away and it was 10am Sunday morning. Not going to make it. (ps the cruise had called and said don't get here before 12:30 because of inspection..so we were really confused).

We set out and I'm in freak out mode again. We finally made it- and got through with no problems and were on the ship by 1:30-2pm. They were more concerned with my pregnancy release form than my birth certificate.
In all my panic and lack of planning- we finally made it on the ship and once we got here- there were no more worries about missing summer vacation.

Our room was the same size as on our honeymoon- minus the balcony- but had a window! even though we booked an interior. Thanks God for working that upgrade out!

We set sail and the world drifted away for 5 days. We had a great time and I can't wait to go on our next adventure.
Here are the 'lights of the trip. You determine high or low:

• Kevin broke up a FIST FIGHT *with blood* (in the buffet line) before we even left the dock- ps it was between TWO WORKERS- not guests. I told him he should've stuck his face in the middle of it so we could have cruised for free. He knows now for next time. 
• Kevin got food poisoning (from the ship's prime rib) the 2nd day. It was awful.
• We decided to go to dinner when we wanted- not during the time we were given and the people we had dinner with turned out to be our next door neighbors to our room. Crazy.
• We snorkeled with our own gear twice and it was awesome. So many cool fish. 3 beaches in 2 days. Either Blue iguana tacos or ice cream every day.
• Kevin sang karaoke. I have a video- but I will see if he wants it posted. 
• We did shows, comedy, and piano bars. And a movie by the pool for dinner. 
• I got sick on the last day thanks to no air conditioned taxis and heavy exhaust fumes.
• Oh. And Kevin watched as I told off a kid about 8-9 years old on the last day to quit jumping over my head and stop hanging from the hot tub window to jump in a pool that clearly said do no jump and no horse playing. Had the little joker made contact with me when he threw his hands up to splash me and stick his tongue out at me- I'm pretty sure SACURITY would have been called. Kevin was watching him like a hawk. Needless to say- he left the pool after I told him he needed to respect adults and when he turned 21 then "he could teach me a lesson". 

So even though the chance to miss the boat was severely high- it all worked out in the end.  It was a fun trip and I can't wait til the next one!

Freeport, Bahamas  22 weeks

Round-up

Here's to another psychotic writing. Daily routines.

I don't have much of one- until night. I mean there are things I do repetitively, but my nighttime routine is much more established than my day time routine.

My husband would argue that the nighttime routine takes an eternity, but maybe 15 minutes is accurate. Take off my makeup if I didn't get it off from the shower. Brush my teeth, floss, take out my contacts, put on my eye cream and face lotion. Search for my glasses to be able to do the rest of the tasks. Lather up with 2 kinds of lotion for my body- one for baby belly and the rest to help me sleep from baby belly. Use the bathroom 2-3 times, depending on how this baby is feeling for the night. Do a once over on my face/eyebrows to make sure it looks ok. Put in my retainer. Drink a tervis cup full of water (and all through the night). Put the dogs in jail. Turn on the alarm and check all the locks.

Every. dang. day. Poor man is usually asleep by the time I finally get in the bed and hates to wait on me to do our devotion.

I'm sure some people have other similar routines- we don't drink coffee in our house or wake up any earlier than we have to- but use your own situation here.

I am slowly learning another routine God would have for me.

We have a beautiful landscaped yard thanks to my husband. Our yard is the prettiest in the neighborhood- hands down. It is lavished in bushes, trees, side walk lights, and beautiful colored flowers. We have a huge magnolia tree surrounded by small bushes on the corner of our lot- which is what you immediately see upon coming down the hill of the road. The house is surrounded by azaleas and a HUGE lilly setup with a few trees and small bushes and some big day lillies and large rose bushes. The front has hydrangeas and lorapetalum on the side of the garage. My favorite is the plum tree that we planted together surrounded by butterfly bushes. It is so green right now- and has gotten so big since we planted it. He cuts the grass in very determined linear patterns and our yard just glows. (We also have an outside company come in a few times to help our yard be at it's best- but my husband does the hard labor).

What I have noticed though: the weeds are in full force. Maybe he doesn't know this, but every few days I pick the weeds out of the beds. I go around the entire house looking for something that doesn't belong there.

Weeds can look pretty sometimes- and even are hard to distinguish from what is actually supposed to be there- but they literally suck the life out of the purposed plant. Some are small and go unnoticed. Some stand out really well and are easy to pluck and get rid of.

Do you see any weeds here?

Look again.

Those leaves don't belong there. You can't really see it in this picture, but they are a weed.


Some weeds have been growing for so long that their root system is attached to much more than surface level. Some are so easy to get rid of that you would have never noticed them missing- while others leave gaping holes in the soil that has to be covered and fixed. Still some leave behind some residue or a pod of sorts that has to be removed as well. You can't just pick them and throw them on the ground as someone has told me. Apparently they can shake off their spores or whatever and leave some on another spot- causing them to grow in other places. Complete removal of the weed is what is needed for the purposed plants and flowers to grow to their full potential and for them to soak up all the nutrients without having something else cut off their life support.

God has been revealing to me that I have some weeding to do in my own life, not just in my flower bed. I need to weed out the things that are sucking the life (aka Jesus) out of me. Friends, habits, sometimes family, routines that don't include Christ, and actions and behaviors.

It is so easy to get caught up in the world. Then I realize the things of this world will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.

To fully weed out my life, I need to identify what is keeping me from reaching my purpose in a full and complete way. Sometimes it is really easy to see when someone has a problem they need to get rid of (most assuredly in others- hardest in ourselves to see anything wrong). Other times, the problem/behavior/habit has been there so long it is now a part of the person and they don't know how to deal without it. Maybe it is bitterness or selfishness or apathy- or even a hidden habit that we keep from friends but we know it causes us problems. Some things that have to be removed from our lives might leave a gaping hole in our hearts, but I can rest knowing that the Ultimate Healer would never leave me in that condition. He will fill me with better things that lead me closer to him. Those weeds were never meant to be a part of you anyway. 

Just one days worth of weeds from the front bed.

So, today as I sit for Monday to be over, I hope you and I will begin to see the need to get rid of the things that are keeping us from being our biggest and brightest- alive and well- and thriving. Instead of starting to weed out other's gardens, I'll just start with mine. 

I hope to make weeding a daily part of my life- weeding out the earthly things that were never meant to be a part of me anyway and letting Christ shine brighter in me. 

Reclaimed Innocence

Late night conversations in our bedroom are sometimes where my husband and I find the most joy in the day. We have been doing an awesome devotion book for married people short on time and I highly recommend it. It is called "Night Light" by Dr. James Dobson and his wife. I truly can say that this has helped us to talk about touchy subjects and made our marriage better. The nights- or weeks, sometimes, if we let it go that far- that we don't do our devotion- I can see it affecting our marriage. We are mean and ugly- lackadaisical- and not Christ-like to the other.  If you aren't talking about God in your marriage- I can 100% assure you that it is going no where and will never be any different than it is now. 

Last night's devotion was probably the most heart piercing one we have read. I feel very confident in saying that if you were to ask either of us about the other's past- we both know pretty much everything that has gone on- maybe not the whole, but the idea of it. This week's theme is forgiveness. Like a boomerang back in my life coming for me again. More like a never ending bell ringing in my ear.

I should say that my problem is not in forgiving- that is truly hard- I am totally willing to let that happen- but my problem lies in the fact that the people we have been feuding with don't think they have done anything wrong- or that they haven't hurt us.

The story last night was about Corie Ten Boom. How she was face to face with her captor- the one who ultimately was responsible for her sister's death and her family's destruction at a concentration camp during Nazi reign. Some years later when she started her ministry- the very man that she would pass daily in that concentration camp- who tortured and killed her family and friends- was in a church where she was speaking (in Germany). Her topic was forgiveness. She spoke about it being a requirement if you are a believer. The story didn't present this man til the end. He was the last one in the building and approached her after everyone had left. She immediately recognized him from her past and the words that he said next were astounding. He said he enjoyed her talk (as she fumbled through her purse, because she didn't want to make eye contact, and she knew he didn't remember her) and then he extended his hand and asked for her forgiveness- because he did in turn recognize her. After a long pause- she extended her hand and told him he was forgiven. He told her that he had become a Christian and knew that God had forgiven him of the cruel things he had done. He lived his life differently now, and apologized for the wrong he had caused for Corie and her family.

I can't explain to you how this tugged on our hearts last night. I truly believe this is one of the most powerful acts of forgiveness I have ever read about. Corie described it as not of her own will- but the Holy Spirit moving her very being to accept that man's hand. The story then went on to say that if that man could be moved to ask for forgiveness- and Christ forgives us of all our mistakes when we accept him- then why can we not try to share that same forgiveness with others (the book was talking about your spouse, but to us it had a different meaning)?

As we talked about who it was hard to forgive- and what it was like to forgive- we were both challenged to at least attempt to make things right with those who have wronged us- and those that we have wronged. I don't know if that opportunity will ever be given to us, considering we have been avoided like we have the plague, but I do know that this time we are ready.

See the bigger picture.

Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness. Peace.

 I don't have the words. I think we have just both pushed it aside and not dealt with it, but now we hope to try and put the pieces of the puzzle together instead of leaving them scattered and lost.

The Pope Life....as of late

Well. My sweet husband turned 30 20 days ago. I am horrible at keeping up with our lives- so here is a brief update.

He turned 30 and we had a big ol party to celebrate him and his awesomeness. College friends and Sunday School friends- some family, and both sets of parents- joined us for a day on the lake. I would show you some pictures- but I was playing hostess with the mostest and didnt have a chance to sit down let alone snap some pics.

I do, however, have a shot of his awesome cake that Milly (my awesome mother in law, M.I.L., Milly? you get it?) made for Kevin. She MADE those guns. Freestyle. Because she rocks.

This was definitely the highlight of the party- until I had Kevin open a gift before we cut the cake. We gave our friends a little surprise (at least we hope it was) and told them we weren't saying anything else about it until later. That- was then the highlight of the party.

Come the next week, we had people my poor husband didnt even know come up and tell us our "secret" news- and apparently we were the talk of the town before Kevin's party.....

...So.. we made the decision to post it on social media (even after we told our friends at the party we weren't for a while) since so many people knew and were asking our families..which isnt cool. And I give you:

The most-awesome baby announcement! 

That's Right! Come December SWAT will have a whole new meaning in the Pope House! These are my hott husband's flight suits for his SWAT team. We decided to go all out for Lil P baby. The American flag just adds to the awesomeness.  The onesie is what I gave Kevin at his party. In case you cant read it, it says "My daddy can arrest your daddy".

We got an overwhelming response of love for us and this baby- and it truly melted my heart to know that many people were excited for us. 

So- we have been doing really well so far. I have had some serious stomach aches, some sensitive teeth- and some serious need to sleep when I get any and every chance. Other than that- its great!

This week (5/20/14) was the big 12 weeks. I have been super worried and just nervous- because I dont care what any mom, book, or internet site says- it is still overwhelming and a lot to take in when a human is growing inside of you. My husband has been super lately and is the most excited about this little blessing. He has been subjected to rubbing my belly, like someone rubbing a lamp for a genie, and has only had to go on one ice cream run. He has also had to deal with my lack of energy to do the laundry...slowly Im coming back around. He wont have to go naked out on the town. 

Our second sonogram was on our 12 week appointment- but before we went, my perfect match, my heart, and my soul mate, Kevin, sent me these to work. Man- he knows how to make me chill out and just be thankful. I am the luckiest girl on the planet to be married to this thoughtful man. 

Our appointment went well and Dr. said Lil P baby is looking good. We go back in 4 weeks for another visit, but wont get another sonogram until 20 weeks. EEKS. That is a long time! But in the meantime- I leave you this sweet- most precious- and exciting blessing to tide you over until the next post. 

Lil P Baby- or Razz as we like to call it, is kicking up a storm! To see that little butt go in the air and those feet just kicking- is truly the most awe-inspiring sight I have ever seen. The baby was really far back- so the sonographer had to dig in my belly to get a good shot. Razz didnt like this and rolled over. I cant even put in to words what that was like to see on a screen! It was absolutely crazy and cool at the same time!

To celebrate a good report, we had Milly and Papa Pope over for dinner (my parents were packing for vacation) and Big Daddy Kevin made homemade ice cream. In case you didnt know, my husband is a master ice cream maker- and he is the one who registered for our awesome churn!

That is our life as of late. Stay tuned, more to come. Summer is about to be in full force- and I am excited about having half of Fridays off!