Reclaimed Innocence

Late night conversations in our bedroom are sometimes where my husband and I find the most joy in the day. We have been doing an awesome devotion book for married people short on time and I highly recommend it. It is called "Night Light" by Dr. James Dobson and his wife. I truly can say that this has helped us to talk about touchy subjects and made our marriage better. The nights- or weeks, sometimes, if we let it go that far- that we don't do our devotion- I can see it affecting our marriage. We are mean and ugly- lackadaisical- and not Christ-like to the other.  If you aren't talking about God in your marriage- I can 100% assure you that it is going no where and will never be any different than it is now. 

Last night's devotion was probably the most heart piercing one we have read. I feel very confident in saying that if you were to ask either of us about the other's past- we both know pretty much everything that has gone on- maybe not the whole, but the idea of it. This week's theme is forgiveness. Like a boomerang back in my life coming for me again. More like a never ending bell ringing in my ear.

I should say that my problem is not in forgiving- that is truly hard- I am totally willing to let that happen- but my problem lies in the fact that the people we have been feuding with don't think they have done anything wrong- or that they haven't hurt us.

The story last night was about Corie Ten Boom. How she was face to face with her captor- the one who ultimately was responsible for her sister's death and her family's destruction at a concentration camp during Nazi reign. Some years later when she started her ministry- the very man that she would pass daily in that concentration camp- who tortured and killed her family and friends- was in a church where she was speaking (in Germany). Her topic was forgiveness. She spoke about it being a requirement if you are a believer. The story didn't present this man til the end. He was the last one in the building and approached her after everyone had left. She immediately recognized him from her past and the words that he said next were astounding. He said he enjoyed her talk (as she fumbled through her purse, because she didn't want to make eye contact, and she knew he didn't remember her) and then he extended his hand and asked for her forgiveness- because he did in turn recognize her. After a long pause- she extended her hand and told him he was forgiven. He told her that he had become a Christian and knew that God had forgiven him of the cruel things he had done. He lived his life differently now, and apologized for the wrong he had caused for Corie and her family.

I can't explain to you how this tugged on our hearts last night. I truly believe this is one of the most powerful acts of forgiveness I have ever read about. Corie described it as not of her own will- but the Holy Spirit moving her very being to accept that man's hand. The story then went on to say that if that man could be moved to ask for forgiveness- and Christ forgives us of all our mistakes when we accept him- then why can we not try to share that same forgiveness with others (the book was talking about your spouse, but to us it had a different meaning)?

As we talked about who it was hard to forgive- and what it was like to forgive- we were both challenged to at least attempt to make things right with those who have wronged us- and those that we have wronged. I don't know if that opportunity will ever be given to us, considering we have been avoided like we have the plague, but I do know that this time we are ready.

See the bigger picture.

Grace. Mercy. Forgiveness. Peace.

 I don't have the words. I think we have just both pushed it aside and not dealt with it, but now we hope to try and put the pieces of the puzzle together instead of leaving them scattered and lost.