If you would listen

I would say these things:

- Just because "everyone else is doing it or accepting of it" doesn't mean you have to follow suit.
- Teenage love is a very fragile and strange thing. Don't get so caught up in that boy that you miss out on high school.
- Real love is possible- but it happens when God wants it to happen to you. Stop trying to rush it.
- Don't start rumors. Derail that gossip train or jump off of it. Nobody likes to be talked about.
- So many things are going to change from the time you graduate high school til the time you are 25. Pace yourself- do a lot of fun things- and make memories- not regrets.
- Don't live in the "shoulda, coulda, woulda"- live in the I came. I saw. I conquered.
- Be the friend you would like others to be to you.
- Be honest. Talk open. Listen sometimes. And just because you have an opinion, doesnt mean you have to share it all the time. 
- Go out of your way to do something for someone that you don't like. Show them how to love, even if it hurts your pride.
- Give your best- do more than try. 
- Find positive things in life that make you happy- and dedicate time weekly to do them.
- Spend time in the Word. Learn it, recite it, memorize it, hold it dear to your heart. 
- Don't set the example- be it. 
- Learn to let go of things that are not bringing you closer to Christ. Know that everything comes in seasons.
- Sometimes, it is ok to rock the boat. Capsize it even. But be tasteful about it. 
- Be willing to forgive. Holding on to anger only rots YOU from the core. Allow God to provide the healing.
- Stand up for what you believe in, and if you are proven wrong, learn from that experience.
- Money does solve problems as well as create them. It can buy things to make you happy, but also those things will soon make you miserable. 
- Focus on Christ and center your life around him- and everything else will fall in to place. ( Matthew 6:33)

These are the things I would say to me. 

The way it stands

School is starting back this week in our town. Madness is brewing. 
This year- I find myself starting back as well. Georgia Southern here I come! 

I am so excited to be an Eagle- even if it is just online classes right now. I do want to attempt to get a PhD- but right now I will focus on these prerequisites I have to take before starting that program. I am honestly nervous about starting school again. I haven't done this in 4 years! Ahhhhh! Hopefully my transition will be smooth. I do know that one of my dreams is coming true- to go to a school with football. Thanks God! Also- big shout out to K. Pope for pushing me to Ga Southern. I am sure I wouldn't have even considered it had he not mentioned it. 

If regular school is starting- that must mean COLLEGE is starting shortly after. Fall is an exciting time of year for me. I present so many presentations and meet with so many students- I look forward to the newness- the lack of information they have been given- and the excitement they bring to campus.

I am hoping 2013 turns out to be the best college year yet at good ol' GC. I have made lots of plans- signed lots of contracts- and changed the format in a lot of my presentations. Let's hope that planning pays off. 

On another note:
Sometimes I tell Kevin it is really weird to be married. (not that I miss the single life- at all), but it just seems really strange to be able to call his former home my home now as well. Sometimes I don't feel like it is "my" home- because I haven't decorated very much, or there isn't much of "me" in the house. The guest bathroom has been painted sea foam green, so that makes me feel a little better- and there is one canvas picture of us on the wall- but still I find that it is missing elements to make me feel like I live there too. 

Kevin had already picked the paint colors long before I came along- and all of the furniture- minus our bedroom and living room. I do miss that aspect of house hunting when I was single- and dreaming up big plans in my head of how I wanted it to look. I am very blessed to have a man who already had a house, I am grateful for that. And it is a craftsman style house- which I wanted. It is just hard for me to wrap my mind around that I live there too. Sometimes I just feel like my stuff is just "there". 

I am trying to "put a girl in it"- but I find myself struggling to do this. Kevin says we can do whatever I want- so I have decided that paint makes everything look better. Upcoming projects: The master bath (because powder blue isn't that great love) and the laundry room (because I want to be joyful when I have to be in there, and macadamia nut just doesn't do it for me) and staining of the kitchen cabinets. And bath cabinets. 

I am hoping these changes make it "my" home as well. Our home is quite empty when it comes to decorations and pictures. My goal for the rest of the year is to bring in lots of color and accents- and frame up some dang pictures of us- since we have 4 total in the house.

I just want our house to feel like home. It will get there, in due time. 

Things we are afraid of

Our Sunday school lesson this week talked about our fears. We had to go through a list of phobias and match them up with their phobia word.

I am not really scared of crowds, more so the people in the crowds.

I am not scared of the dentist- I actually like going- except when my teeth are sensitive.

I am not afraid of puppets- but creepy costumes and haunted houses freak me out.

I can deal with storms, I just dont like them.

I am not afraid of food, I just refuse to eat, touch, and smell certain ones. Mushrooms, olives, hotdogs, sausage in certain forms, coffee, tea, coke.

I am not afraid of being alone or by myself- sometimes I appreciate that time. I do worry about one day not being married to Kevin because of whatever- but I try not to dwell on it.

I wasnt really afraid of the things on this 10 item list, but I had to sit back and think of what I really am afraid of.

Someone hurting me or my family. That is a big one. I had my headphones in at the grocery store last night (to be alone) and Kevin said that wasn't safe because someone could attack me from behind and I wouldn't hear them. Clearly I wasn't too afraid of that last night- but now I am.
Even someone being mean to my parents doesnt sit well with me. Because my dad is older and doesnt understand this new technology way of life and my mom works in retail with mean customers.

Failure. One of my biggest. At being a noteworthy wife. School with Georgia Southern. My job. Working with the youth. Crafting. One day being a mom who has kids that turn out awful. I try not to spend much time here, but I think about failing.

I dont work so well with bugs. They creep me out and make my skin crawl just talking about them.

Scary movies and I don't mix. Yikes- I really dont like them at all and nightmares and lack of sleep are not something I enjoy. Keep them and the scary people in them away from me.

Some girl ruining my marriage. (I try to avoid thinking that my husband would be the cause of ruining it, because I dont want to think of him like that). Why do people think it is ok to mess up someone else's marriage because they aren't happy in theirs- or they want something that belongs to someone else (if they arent married)? This is probably #1 and I don't know it. Too many of my friend's and people I know through other friend's marriages have fallen apart because of this. It scares me everyday to think that my innocent sweet and top of the world marriage could fall apart because some girl whisks her way in between me and my husband. AHH. It makes me terrified and angry at the same time.

My husbands job brings a lot of sheer terror to my heart, but I choose not to dwell there. Because if I did, he would never be able to leave the house. I know he is in good hands and he is very talented and discerning in his job. I just consider it work like normal and look forward to seeing him come home every day or night.

Jesus says to not be afraid 21 times in the New Testament. That seems like a lot to me. I am going to hold true to his word- that perfect love casts out fear. He is the clear and precise definition of perfect love. I will hold on to Him and his words to not fear or be not afraid. So this week I encourage you to block out your fears and hold on to Christ.

People sometimes

I don't understand people sometimes. How the words that they choose roll out of their mouths so carelessly and to them are perfectly fine- but to me- are so wrong. What happened to think before you speak? Clearly we have lost touch with this virtue.

Just because you the sayer aren't offended by it, doesn't mean the hearer won't be.

Such as people's over-reaction to telling us when to have kids. I'm 100% sure that Kevin and I will be the ones paying for them- so I am really confused as to why some people have to be blatantly rude about telling us about when we should have kids.

I do respect the advice we have been given about enjoying our marriage- and we are. I just don't appreciate people telling me when we should or what we should do before.

Every situation is different. Outsiders don't know our entire family dynamics as to why or when we want to try to have kids. Personally- it should be of no concern to anyone buy my husband and myself.

"You are going to miss out on so much". Let me preface this with- both of us have college degrees, are advanced professionals, and and in careers not jobs. We are starting out much higher than most of the people getting married our age. We do have a lot going for us by ways of God's blessings. And we are very grateful. If you have never read this before, you might not know our story. But our story is so different than anyone else's. We waited a long time to find each other and we moved quick.

I guess I have just been frustrated by the CONSTANT reminder I have been given by people- to wait to have kids. I feel like it is only our business, not the world's.

When we feel the time is right, we will try. Regardless of who tells us to wait or do whatever.